Crushing Sadness

[Raggedy-Ann]

All of my tricks aren't working today. My distractions... I can hardly get out of bed. The loneliness is crushing me. I've tried movies, made an enchilada casserole.. too much food for one person. time to freeze in single portions nobody else to share it with. Yes party of one. I have a great to do list and I can't seem to get motivated. I would love a hug, but ... sigh. Tears hot salty tears. I tried to sleep no luck. I am also running a fever, nauseated, and that has been going on for almost 3 months. I go see the doctor again soon. I wish someone could come and help me, take care of me even if only for an hour. nobody is coming.... nobody....

[Arymretep]

so sorry to hear you are feeling so low, it must be so hard being on your own when you don’t feel well, I hope you feel better tomorrow, there’s always someone to chat to on here , take care

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to Arymretep]

thank you

[Joshgw]

im so sorry you are going through this alone so its great that you're reaching out. I am married but my marriage is breaking up and i get zero support from her. In fact she told me not to talk about it. I know thats not exactly the same thing, but i can totally emphasize with how you feel. Nobody to take care of you or offer any help. I might as well be invisible in my house so please know that others know the loneliness.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Joshgw]

I do.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to Joshgw]

Thank you. Many years ago I was married and towards the end it was so lonely. Pearl Jam came out with a song Better Man. That helped a little. Do you have a song that works for you?

[Joshgw in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

I wish. unfortunately because of depression i find it very hard to listen to music. Which is ironic bc i used to work in the music business. In fact, i cant seem to do much of anything. I feel emotionally paralyzed like inertia that im just stuck and do anything. Even talking to people is hard.

[Nothing_but_books]

Tears, Idle Tears

Alfred Lord Tennyson - 1809-1892

.

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,

Tears from the depth of some divine despair

Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,

In looking on the happy autumn-fields,

And thinking of the days that are no more.

.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,

That brings our friends up from the underworld,

Sad as the last which reddens over one

That sinks with all we love below the verge;

So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns

The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds

To dying ears, when unto dying eyes

The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,

And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned

On lips that are for others; deep as love,

Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;

O Death in Life, the days that are no more!

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Thank you. I am processing that ....

[MaineOtter]

Dear Raggedy-Ann

I’m sending you a hug! Full of peace, comfort and warmth. I can relate to some of the things you are going through and I’m so sorry you are suffering so much! Hopefully the doctor will help with your fever and nausea, maybe something to help you sleep. Getting enough sleep will help. Here are some of the things I take to help me sleep: melatonin, magnesium citrate and L-theanime. Magnesium & L-theanine together helps to calm you down, sleep better and just do more. But ask your doc first. Sorry you are so lonely, do you know someone you trust to talk to? How about just calling/trying one of those helplines just to talk to someone?

Please pray to Heavenly Father for help! He wants to hear from you. He loves you.

Sending you Lots of Hugs!

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to MaineOtter]

Thank you for your kindness it helps.

[catsrock]

I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of hugs and support. I hope you get some relief soon.

[Hidden]

Hey, go easy on yourself. We all have our down days. I’ve had days where I burst out crying and I’m not sure what I’m crying about but the tears are real. Give yourself a break. Tell yourself you will try again tomorrow.🙂

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Hey RA

We all have off days. Its common. So don't be so hard on yourself. Even your body is struggling under this pressure to try to feel make itself feel better.

If you dont feel up to anything then just rest.

Don't fight it and chill. Its also possible your body and mind is trying to tell you something. Maybe you been put running feelings for too long and now its time to deal with them. Its okay to cry. Sometimes we need a good long cry. Helps relieve the pressure.

Anyways I hope you feel better soon 💖 wishing you the best and hugs 🤗 even though you can't feel it, its there.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thank you. I am so grateful to have found this site. I am back into my routine today.

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

I'm glad you did. You got this, Raggedy Ann!