Update on my last post

[Call_me_anything]

First of all, she was not toxic. She loved me like a big sister.

We created a Spotify blend (a music playlist) and that's how our friendship started. Our music taste was quite similar and we both listen to music a lot. And I don't know how mango became our symbol of friendship😂. Her personality was similar to my sister's, which helped me to bond with her well.

Whenever anything good happened to me, I thought about sharing that with her. It was a close relationship. Big-sis Lil-bro kind. I loved her bunny. It was cute, furry and had big pink ears.

She was recently admitted to the hospital. I was so scared for her, even my real sister was worried for her too. A week later when she got back home, she seemed fine. She said she's feeling better now, doc changed her meds and it helped her. I was so relieved to see her alright.

We used to talk on Instagram DM, Insta is very distracting so I tried asking her if she could use telegram for chatting but she said there's no space on her phone. She was ready to share her number with me earlier. I refused to take her number. I told her she shouldn't share her number so easily online. She said she trusted me that's why she was ready to share. She said we can talk over email, but I don't know why I refused to share my email.

2 days later, I opened Spotify and I saw our blend is not there anymore. She unfollowed me on Spotify. I opened Insta and saw she blocked me. Basically, she blocked me from Insta, Fb and Spotify. I didn't even know you can block people on Spotify. To be honest, being blocked on insta,fb was fine but it did hurt a little to see that she blocked me on Spotify.

She didn't say Goodbye and I think that's better. Because I have realized when someone says ' I'm leaving ' they don't actually want to go away, they just want you to try to stop them from leaving. By not saying anything like this, she made her intentions clear and I appreciate that.

We once talked about how we both have attachment issues. We easily get attached to people. I thought at least she wouldn't leave like this. She was a writer and I had great respect for her. I was planning to take some writing tips from her someday.

She was really a good friend/ sister to me. She helped me on some of my very dark days and I'm grateful for her. I always felt better after talking with her. She was like a silver lining in my dark cloudy days.

I'm not sad or angry or disappointed with her. Instead, I'm thankful to her for helping me so much. She had a very big heart. I'm just trying to take all the positives from our friendship, everything she taught me and move on. Life is too short to hold grudges against anyone.

Football_love

[Dolphin14]

Hi

I'm glad you wrote this follow up, it makes so many things clear. I was not sure why the word toxic came up in your post as it clearly was evident this was not the case for you.

It sounds like you had a great relationship. I do agree with what you say about saying I'm leaving. In some cases it is done for attention. But, in others it is done to say something is going wrong here and I'm giving you a heads up. In a solid friendship those things can be cleared up.

I've made quite a few friends here and we have been talking for years. So I do believe we can connect with people on line.

For me the hardest part would be wanting to know if she was ok.

You are allowed to grieve this loss. Take time to heal.

My thoughts are with you

🐬

[Agamemnon2022 in reply to Dolphin14]

The pain of her ghosting you will heal in time. Recently all of my online friends [only 3] ghosted me. I had never had it happen before. Personally, I find it needlessly cruel and would never do it to anyone. But it's been about 2 months and I feel better now. But man it hurt at the time. I was devastated for 2 days. All you can do is make sure you never do it to someone else. It sounds like your attitude about what happened is amazing. Give yourself some credit. I don't know about you but one of the side effects or cause of my struggle is that I constantly think the worst of myself or a situation in my head. You should think, "I'm handling what happened maturely and to the best of my ability."

[Call_me_anything in reply to Dolphin14]

I needed to make everything clear so that nobody blames anyone. But you have online friends that stayed with you for years is amazing. Mine don't even last for 6 months 😂. I don't think this 'online friend' thing works for me

[Call_me_anything]

I'm missing her bunny, Sam tbh. Look at those big ears!

Sam, the bunny

[Dolphin14 in reply to Call_me_anything]

Adorable

🐬