Rethinking my decision

[Foreverbroken31]

So I ended my friendship with one of the only 3 friends I have and I feel like a made a mistake. The thing is she was my best friend or at this point I'm not sure if she really was. We were really close I would spent so much time at her house and with her kids I thought she was like a sister to me. But things started changing when I got my old job back. The thing is I'm really bad keeping a schedule and I didn't want any type of distraction sort to say. So I told them we wouldn't see each other until the season ended. But it went all wrong she started trusting my brother with all her problems and left me out of almost everything. I still talked to her but it was weird. I would sleep during the day get up get ready and leave I barely had time to get on my social media but I still tried staying in touch with them. But even after the season ended things were weird between us. I tried hanging out with her she would say no. and when we would hang out she would say stuff that would hurt me. Part of falling into my depression was because of the things she would say. The thing is I'm an extreme overthinker. At that moment it might not bother me but once I'm alone everything replays in my head like a million times. And something that wasn't an insult or judgment turns into it the more I hear in my head. She told me a few times if you could drive maybe you had more jobs opportunities like Jonathan (an old friend). I'm 30 and I'm afraid of driving it just one of my biggest fears and a bigger issue. What would bother me is she would say it like he is better than you or that's what my head would form it into. So all of those hurtful things started being bigger than our friendship but she didn't know I no longer saw her as a sister or a friend. I had to be around her but my other friend had to be in the same room for me to enjoy her company. But when I came clean to what was hurting all she said was she would stop joking around with me because I couldn't take it anymore. She claimed she knew me so much better than I know myself but if it was half true she should have known all of the things she did broke my heart little by little. Now after a week of not talking to her I feel like I miss her. I feel I over reacted to everything and overthinked all the things to far. I miss her dumb videos I miss her kids and I miss her being my friend. I don't know if I should thing fixing it or let it go. But I feel I'm missing something in my life

[Roxylox]

We do sometimes get easily offended by throwaway comments. I have a friend who would very occasionally say hurtful things, also would tell me that certain other people didn't like me, l found these unnecessary, yet remained friends with her.

I am glad I didn't drop her as a friend, as she can be very good and does know me well. We can laugh together. Mind you , she does live at the other side of the country now, so we don't meet often enough to fight anyway lol!

As regards driving, she may just be encouraging you to learn for your own good. I didnt get seriously down to learning to drive till age 35, qualified at 40. I am really glad l made it in the end. I had great fears of driving too. I realise now how much it limits a person in lots of ways if they don't drive

I hope I don't sound too preachy.

As regards your friend, you know best I'd say at the end of the day.

[Foreverbroken31 in reply to Roxylox]

Wow I'm glad I'm not the only one with this fear sometimes I just feel useless and it makes me mad I can't get over my fear I hope I can though because it's true I'm limited alot being a small town be don't have busses or cheap taxis 😆

[Roxylox in reply to Foreverbroken31]

I didn't really make a proper effort till I had kids, kinda had to then. It is worth the effort, believe me. I still have to get someone to fill the fuel tank for me though, scared of that going wrong!

[Foreverbroken31]

I told her once but it seemed to me like she wasn't up for an apology to the things she told me. She is the one that suggested we would distance ourselves but I don't think we will ever go back to being friends

[Hidden]

I understand this totally. I've had friends like this and I didn't realize it at the time but it seemed like they held resentment toward me with what they would say and do and act like around me, especially around our other friends.

It's a pretty bad feeling to lose a good friend. BUT, you also have to think about you. Would your mental health decline being around them? I say just practice self care and taking care of you for awhile. You might meet an amazing person who likes you for you and is a genuine friend! Keep your head up, I'm wishing you the best. ❤

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I've heard the phrase, "Be your own best friend" a lot and it has helped me discover self love and pointed me in the right direction to recognizing my own self worth. Not saying that you can't have good people in your life, but don't give up on yourself and take things one day at a time!