Couldn't keep my mind right of trying not to contact her as many of the folks here advice me not to. But the feeling is still so deeply in me and it's so fresh and raw and I still feel like she is mine. It's a crazy idea that she isn't anymore and that to her now, I am just a nobody. How could so much love disappeared so suddenly? How could her one day tell me that she would be there for me and another day we are not even friends on Facebook anymore? How could I be such a terrible guy to her and not even realizing it even until now? I am stressed out and I have a heavy heart and it hurts, it hurts so bad I am not going to lie. One of my friends just committed suicide a few hours ago and that didn't have a good impact on how I feel right now.
Update since my last post: Couldn't... - Anxiety and Depre...
Sorry to hear about your friend.
Breaking up sucks. There is not even a way to put into words how much pain that you can feel in that situation. I have been through a divorce and it was the most painful experience I have ever had. I couldn't imagine being without my wife. But, in time, your heart will heal. It does get better.
Hopefully you have a support system of friends and family that can be there for you. That helped me a lot. I did things like playing hockey and playing guitar in a band and in the few hours that I did that, I was able to get out of my head. If you have any hobbies, that will give you some relief.
Hang in there. It gets better.