Too many here don't seem to welcome, want, or respect the "life advice" I have tried SO hard to provide. They like my cute animal photos, but enough people don't appreciate much other than sympathy, smiley faces, and shared negativity. I have tried to provide Honesty, which this World needs much more of. A few have responded favorably, but not enough to sustain my mental energy or patience. It's o.k. I will always hope that people find moments of peace, learn to stop being so negative, stop "labeling" themselves, practice gratitude, and feel some joy. I have learned much here, and I am thankful. 🙇♀️
Walking away.....: Too many here don't... - Anxiety and Depre...
Walking away.....
Written by
TrustYourSoul
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44 Replies
•
Are you talking about posts? The problem is you have to time the exact thing people need to here at the exact time they need to hear it. Remember many people here are in distress so they probably aren’t open to much. The few replies are actually a success not a failure.
I get a fair amount of heat in here for offering advice from a Christian perspective. But we're taught to expect a great deal of negative and even hostile reaction to offering even the most mild religion-based advice so I just shrug it off as the cost of doing business. I even expect to get kicked out of here at any moment. If so, oh well...
But I would say if your advice is solid (I have no idea, have not seen any of your posts), then put on that holy stiff upper lip and live up to your name.
Expect negativity and hostility and push it anyway? This is why I don’t want to be around evangelists.
Hey now, don't be pushing your anti-evangelist evangelism on me! You might get, like...a negative or hostile response or something, GOSH!
I didn’t tell you what to believe. In fact you have no idea what my beliefs are. There is nothing pushy about that. If you aren’t pushy you won’t get hostility.
Well if a little humor won't get the point across, blunt plain speaking is all that's left.
Of course I have no idea what you believe. Point out where I said I do! I didn't try to tell you what to believe, I wasn't talking to you at all. My post was for DoNotQuit; I had completely forgotten about your existence.
Then suddenly you try to pick a fight with me and somehow I'M the one being 'pushy'. This while you try to push an evangelophobic gospel down my throat in a cranky insulting tone. You're being wildly unfair.
Not picking a fight. Noting the hypocrisy
If you want a one on one conversation get a chat. Forums are for social media discussions.
I have had some great conversations with deeply religious Christians. It is the ones that don’t honor another’s beliefs that get negative reactions.
How did I not honor anyone's beliefs in this conversation? It never even came up. You seem to be anticipating things as if they already happened.
“we're taught to expect a great deal of negative and even hostile reaction to offering even the most mild religion-based advice so I just shrug it off as the cost of doing business.”Someone who honors someone else’s beliefs doesn’t think hostility is the cost of doing *business*. The only one anticipating is you. This thread deserves to be deleted so good day.
If you read my words plainly and without prejudice, it's clear that I am referring to the hostility of THOSE I AM TALKING TO IN THEIR REACTION TO ME -- not mine. I am not hostile to anyone, not even you. But I will point it out when I think you're being unfair, and you seem to be determined to see me in the most negative light possible.
You were hostile toward me before I said anything to you. You implied that I was telling you what to believe, when, again, I hadn't said one word to you. You said I don't know what your beliefs are, implying that I claimed I did, again before one word from me to you. You even accused me of being 'pushy' when I hadn't pushed anything on anyone, all while being the epitome of 'pushy' in ramming your evangelophobic evangelism down my throat. You have a very bad case of projection, prejudice and a hair trigger temper.
This is the kind of chutzpah where you would steal somebody's car with the owner sitting in it, and then call the cops and try to have the owner arrested for trespassing.
If you treat people generally the way you have me today, you will end up facing more hostility than I ever dreamed of.
Why are god fearing people always so angry?
Backwards again, Ruth. You came at me angry before I said anything to you:
Expect negativity and hostility and push it anyway? This is why I don’t want to be around evangelists.
What an awful, stereotypical thing to say. How about if I said to you, "Engaging in Christophobic stereotyping anyway? This is why I don't want to be around secular humanists." That wouldn't irritate you a bit?
I responded with a bit of humor to try to get the point across in a lighthearted manor and you replied with a series of bizarre presumptions and lies about me. That's when my Irish got up.
I can't speak for other "angry" Christians you've run into, maybe they were out of line, maybe they weren't. If they were, I apologize to you on their behalf. But maybe this tendency to throw rocks and then try to hide your hand also has something to do with it. You were just plain way out of line toward me and you should apologize. For your own sake, never mind me.
By the way I just noticed that I've been getting a bunch of likes for my replies to you. I won't give their names but does this mean you've been doing this to other folks in here?
On reflection, it’s true, I did get a bit hot. And while I don’t regret calling you out for putting words in my mouth, my approach could have been better and I ask your forgiveness for that. I should have asked in a low key way why you take such a dim view of folks like me. Maybe something happened way back when that was bad enough that caused you to think I was proselytizing you even when I hadn’t even said anything to you, and maybe it would have helped if I would have opened the door in that way to acknowledge your scars. If that’s what happened I apologize on behalf of the Christian malpracticer(s). Some of us are better at this than others.
That said, the best way for you to respond to proselytizers like me is to just pat us on the head, shrug, smile at your friends and say “he means well”. Because it’s true. If you’re about to drive off a cliff, shouldn’t I tell you the bridge is out? Maybe it turns out I’m delusional and the bridge is just fine, but again just say ‘thanks for your concern’, pat me on the head and send me on my way. If I or anyone else goes beyond that, that’s on us, we’re in the wrong.
But Jesus really does love you and therefore so do I, even though I admit I know next to nothing about you. Research all about him and reconsider him before it’s too late. (You didn’t really think you were going to get away without just a little preaching, did you? Pat me on the head now…(pat-pat-pat). Thanks…)
Wow…you are giving instructions on how to handle your bad behavior. How very supreme.
Very well, you have the last word.
Just because you mean well doesnt mean you are not doing damage. In fact you are, and you should have no place here.
I very well understand that good intentions aren't enough. But the same principle applies to you -- just because you claim I'm doing damage doesn't mean I am doing damage. What 'damage' did I do in this thread?
I was accused of doing and saying things to someone I wasn't even talking to and I pushed back on that. I admitted and apologized for aspects of it that were over the top, yet I still got the negative response even to that which I feared would be the case.
Now out of nowhere you want to pile on and, like Ruth, I was never addressing you either. Yet you accuse me of 'damage' without even offering evidence for it. If the two of you are going to be this hypersensitive, that can be damaging to others too so maybe you shouldn't have a place here either.
And also like Ruth, I give you the last word.
Dont be so sensitive. Its almost like you know you are guilty of pushing a belief system onto people in their most fragile state😉. That should never be acceptable... And I just saw you do it to Ruth so dont play dumb.
I'm not playing dumb. Say what you want about Ruth, she's anything but fragile.
Yes I'm sure you've only done it to people you deem strong enough to hear😑...I heard your story the other day. You believe bc you had a vision or a dream of Jesus. How you knew it was Jesus is still puzzling but that's another issue...And even then it took you ten YEARS to finally be a real believer. So if god wants to save them he will give them a vision too. You arent special...All you are doing is adding stress to an already stressful situation of mental illness. Now on top of there anxiety and depression they are supposed to have the clarity of mind to decipher who is the savior? Its torture.
It's very simple, Zhangliqun, there's a rule here that you're not allowed to push religion as a remedy for anxiety and depression. And that's what you've been doing here, selling religion as a remedy.
You can mention religion if it was part of your experience in recovering from A&D. But no suggesting others will benefit by following your example.
Check with Admin if you're not convinced.
I do mention it in connection with my own recovery and coping. I always tell people that I nearly ate a pistol over it in '94 and how it helped me.
But apparently even that's too much. In this thread I've been scolded by several people in here I never said a word to. There's a difference between avoiding rows over religion and being anal retentive about it.
As I said elsewhere, mental health has a spiritual component; we are not just molecules. Some may be triggered by religious talk but others might be triggered by the lack of it-- by an atmosphere in which the assumption of philosophical materialism must rule when a bit of religious talk was the one thing they needed most, that could have prevented them from dying by their own hand.
For that matter, no-one has bothered to check to see if I might be triggered by Christo-phobic comments so let's stop pretending that the status quo in here is the epitome of sweet neutrality. There is no neutral ground.
Christophobic?😂 Arent we supposed to fear your god?🤔
You're still doing it, Zhangliqun. I spelt the rules out clearly for you with the option of confirming it with admin. But that's not good enough for you is it. I'm afraid it's people like you who give religion a bad name.
• in reply toZhangliqun
This is very toxic writing: “But Jesus really does love you and therefore so do I, even though I admit I know next to nothing about you. Research all about him and reconsider him before it’s too late.”: this is very triggering to tell members who are not Christians or suffered from religious oppression to do research before it’s too late. Too late for what?! Death?!!! Or unfortunate events will happen in their lives?!!!! Keep this site only about mental health please.
Blueruth• in reply to
Additionally he said “Maybe something happened way back when ” which means the thought occurred to him that people on this site may indeed be triggered….and yet he still wants to sell his god and be coddled at the same time! For someone that did grow up with abuse in the church (not uncommon) this is an assault.
Zhangliqun• in reply to
Mental health also has a spiritual component and putting a gag order on that is also be toxic and, for some, fatal.
Even if you're sure there is no God, some lives may nonetheless be saved by the 'toxic damaging' rantings of evil Jesus Freaks like me because the idea that the universe and everything in it is a pointless accident with no meaning or hope has many on the verge of death by their own hand. I was one and I nearly ate a pistol over it in '94. Some have already gone over the falls, in part because folks with your POV insist on allowing only philosophical materialism to hold sway in places like this while pretending that's neutrality.
So you can see, people are going to be damaged either way; there is no such thing as neutral ground.
• in reply toZhangliqun
You didn’t answer my question about your statement “before it’s too late”. I would like for you to elaborate that. Now you tell me that members like me are pretentious? On top, you call us damaged ?!!!! No I am not damaged as well as all members here. We fight for our mental health. This is a major bully on a mental health website. There’s no end to your attack in the name of god.
Zhangliqun• in reply to
Yes, you are damaged and so am I. Isn't this a place where the mentally ill congregate? Otherwise what are we all doing in here?
But that wasn't the damage I was talking about. I was talking about how silencing religion can cause at least as much damage to people in here as talking about it and that therefore there is no such thing as neutral ground. You're pretending that silencing religion has no negative effect. I pointed out that it's not true. Are you saying it is true?
'Before it's too late' -- meaning death and a Christless eternity. I'm not being coy about that. Since you have me pegged as an evil Jesus Freak, I assumed you knew that.
• in reply toZhangliqun
For someone who claims to believe in the power of god, you sure are damaged as you said. Here’s the difference: I don’t see myself and other members have “mental illness”. We are warriors who choose to be here to support and overcome our rough paths in life which has both good and bad.
You condemn nonbelievers with death and christless eternity, I’m sure you can find some other playgrounds for that kind of toxicity.
I choose to have trust in me to heal on my journey. End of.
Many people have been able to heal mental illness without bowing down to JC. How do you explain that?
Stop it now. You are not doing yourself or your cause any good. You know the rule of this house, either stick to it or depart.
Hi I appreciate your posts but it's difficult to get your voice heard or appreciated on HU just like any other social media platform it's just the way it is and isn't a true reflection of your worth
Just remember, DoNotQuit, that for every one person who replies to your posts there are 50 who read them but do not respond. So do not believe your good work is wasted, it helps many more people than you think: their numbers should not be measured in terms of responses or 'likes'. Live up to your name.
No one is forced to read the postings on this site. It is meant to be a suggestion and not a bonified cure. We learn from others but the goal is always in helping ourselves
as well. Stay true to who you are. DoNotQuit 
xx
This is not social media please don’t treat it as such, I myself barely reply to post simply because I’m the silent type, a great listener and if I don’t have anything to contribute or if I cannot relate in any way or provide some kind of insight I move on to the next. Some members are not here every day either. It shouldn’t matter how many comments or likes you get I don’t think that’s how helping people work.
I respect what U have achieved and overcome in your life. To start your precious animal picture posts have provided me with comfort and put a smile 😊 on my face often when I really needed. So in essence I forgot about the stress anxiety and ADHD issues I face in my
everyday life. Regarding the other type of posts U have put on HU, U have the right to impart your ideas and opinions. However as I have expressed to you in past posts. I have a different perspective when it comes to negativity and didnt agree with U. But that is me. Other people have appreciated what U have written. It’s OK to have differing opinions. Please reconsider this b4 exiting this site.
Thanks to Most of you.
As I read the deterioration of my "Walking Away" post to a ping-pong match about Christianity and Evangelism, and the snarkiness of one person who took a negative and challenging posture, it confirmed my decision. That person owes Me an apology, but it won't come. This was MY post, and it became a (one-sided) "fight" that ruined MY message, but proved one of my points.
I am proudly a Christian. I have shared that. I have told some that I would pray for them, and I have. I like it when others bring their positive religious Faith to their posts and replies. If others don't like it, then just Be Quiet!! My FAITH is Why I am Strong, and Why I have the Courage to Endure and Overcome.
I never cared about how many "Likes" I received. I didn't care about recognition, although it sure felt good to receive nice replies. Walking away isn't "quitting"-- it is the Healthy thing to do. This site has "Peace Stealers" and I won't let mine be stolen. My life is too short.
I might sneak in an animal photo in the future to bring a smile.
Take GOOD care of yourselves. I love people. I desperately want others to improve their situations and their lives. Some just won't, but hopefully Many will. I hope to read those posts with great joy in my heart.
💜~Alison
Alison, no one or anything is worth jeopardizing our mental health. You're right in thatlife is too short. We must take care of the body and mind we were given and no one has
the right to take that away from you. I wish you well but know that the door is always
open and the light is always one. My best to you xx
I'm not Christian, but I hope the world treats you well, whatever you decide to do.
Cheers, Midori
I am still here, reading continued snarky remarks to my original post in amazement. I have kept it on here to continue proving a point. WTH is wrong with some of you that you thrive on being combative? "Believe" in God, or don't. I Do. It works well for me. If you don't like a Reply that you receive, or a Post someone makes, just ignore it and MOVE ON!
No wonder some people are a mental mess, doing this garbage to Yourselves and to Others Continuously on this site! Wow. Way to go. I will PRAY for you.
The first person to reply negatively to this will result in me removing my original post, and all remarks along with it. You will lose the "Power" you think you have. Some will lose all of their combative, negative words. Go ahead..... One/Some of you won't be able to resist because you have wired your brain(s) in a manner that is very hard to reverse. Keep messing yourselves up.....
Waiting.....
• in reply toTrustYourSoul
Hey friend,I'm glad you're still with us.☺ This site has turned into who-knows-what. I think I'll permanently switch over to my other community. At least that one has a moderator who is active and cares about people's safety and wellbeing. This one is rife with....I can't even describe it. People who have been banned (some multiple times over) reappearing, the arguing (of which I stupidly played into yesterday trying to get someone who had been banned over and over to stop their nonsense), drama not related to mental health, etc. This community used to be more supportive.
That being said, though, if there are consecutive posts rife with drama and arguing, it is very easy for that to color our experience of how we see the community (my GP uses the analogy of going around wearing tinted glasses).
Please do not worry about others. You cannot change them. My GP and I were just talking about this on Friday. We cannot control the actions of others. I found this out the hard way when I let loose yesterday and tried to change the behavior of someone on here whom I had known through their multiple aliases. I knew this person's triggering behaviors and tried to protect others from falling into said person's trap. I had been run down in my endless wanting to help this person and thought I could help by warning others what I endeded up learning : that I was doing nothing but waste my time!. It didn't work.
My point in telling you this? Because you and I seem to care too much about others (not a criticism). We want to fix others (also not a criticism). When we see injustice, we step in because we think back to what we experienced. Doing so in turm makes us afraid that that experience will turn just as sour for the next "victim" as it did us. This is what I fell into yesterday. I thought I would feel good by doing a favor, when in reality all I got was a really bad conscience. That feeling ruined my evening. Please don't let other people ruin your days. You can't fix people. I can't fix people. Nobody can fix anybody but themselves.
Thank You! I am PLEASANTLY SHOCKED, if there is such a thing, that Nobody continued adding on to my post with continued negativity or nonsense. Perhaps this will be the case with others' posts. I hope so. Seriously, Thank You. 🙇♀️
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