How to stop crying

[hopejoyfatih]

I am new here, I have been on medication that was helping me, but lately working from home has given me too much time to think of negative/sad memories. I lost my mom almost three years ago and this has been difficult for me because we were very close. I just want to stop crying/being sad. I tell my husband my brain is broken, he can't really help me. I know I need to do it myself but don't know how/ or what to do to stop feeling this way. I saw a therapist a few times about four years ago and that didn't help. I am considering trying it again. Does anyone have books, youtube videos or something they recommend? I tried distracting myself with funny videos, reading a novel...just don't know what to do.

[Hidden]

I find writing it down. As i begin i don’t feel motivated to, but then pages and pages flow .. Sometimes i look back over them and sometimes i bin. However, i got it out of my head. I get relief from expressing it all in paper and realising how much i have had to deal with .. it’s like i’m counselling myself ... i do lift after.

xx

[hopejoyfatih in reply to Hidden]

Thank you I will try journaling

[PinkTeddy]

I lost my mom when I was younger it was a shock at first and took a long time to stop crying. Certain things were just triggers or reminders allow yourself to cry and heal I found allowing myself time to think about it and setting time aside for that helped me.

You’re just on your path to healing start thinking of something’s that you might want to do that do bring you joy again.

[hopejoyfatih in reply to PinkTeddy]

I think, it's three years already, how long will I grieve like this, but she was such a big important part of my life I am still trying to find my way without her. I wish there was a magic pill or book that would help me get over this loss. I am not sure if I will ever move on, the problem is I feel because she is gone all the best is behind me. Plus I had depression when she was living and she was always there for me, she knew me better than I know myself I think.

Thank you for responding it's comforting to know people understand and not always burden my husband

[Mariposablue]

I told my husband tthe same thing and wonders why I need someone to talk to about my feelings. I think writing it down does help and being around positive people really helps.

[Sadiesmile]

Do you have access to the library? There are tons of really inspiring books that could give you the strength you need to grow or maybe see things from a different perspective. It has helped me a lot. Get lost for a little while in a good book! Also, they have audio books now if you don’t like to actually read also, I lost my mom pretty recently too. We were really more like best friends. I know it is hard. I imagine she is still with me just in a different way. I still miss her but it helps too.

[hopejoyfatih in reply to Sadiesmile]

Do you have a favorite book you would recommend? Sorry for your loss with your mom, then you know exactly how I feel. She was my best friend...

[Sadiesmile in reply to hopejoyfatih]

Thank you, yes it is still really hard but I try to focus on she is here with me still, just in a different way. It helps a lot but not always. As far as books go, there are tons! One good thing about reading is you have to be in the present moment and you have to be focusing on what you are reading. It is almost like a meditation. You get to take a break from your monkey mind for a little while. You are a badass by Jen Sincero is a good one to start with. You can go on Amazon and see what people are saying about different books. 9 chances out of 10 your library will have it and it doesn’t cost you anything. Just try it...

[Junella]

I have a Kindle, and would recommend getting one for access to books. There are many having to do with depression. I lost three people in my life two years ago (two relatives) and my only sister some five or more years ago. Two years ago I also lost my precious cat at age 16. I came close to a breakdown and got anxious and depressed. There are grief groups, but not sure they are for everyone. I did not benefit from a support group (it was too long and intensive).

This is what helped me: CBT therapy in which you learn that thoughts bring on sad feelings. We must question our thoughts and remember our brains can be liars. Thoughts have us wallowing in our hurt.

Journaling can be good if I write down once what is bothering me and then toss it. But I've done the desperate kind too. My most helpful journaling lists all the positive things I have to be thankful for; noticing and writing down special moments during the day. Watching nature (TV).

Exercise is good therapy and can change one's feelings better than any drug. Following a good diet focusing on fruits and vegetables and low sugar and salt also helps one's mood. Deep breathing exercises 15 a day, and mindfulness is part of the program for healing. But my biggest blessing is a spiritual life and recognizing that I am loved and in contact with a God who cares. Prayer is necessary for me like breathing.

A good night's sleep trying to be regular on a schedule (I have trouble here) is valuable. A healthy lifestyle can change us.

Going back to reading, I don't recommend novels with violence or negative themes. I lost a friend who constantly read these kinds of novels and followed a poor diet. Being in pain from a botched surgery, she took an overdose. What she fed her mind may not have been the whole reason, but I'm sure it didn't help.

[pink318]

Hello,

I’m sorry you are going through a rough time. Seeing your therapist is a great idea.

I lost my mother in 2013 and every time I remember her, I still cry.

Cry whenever you miss her. Grieving is important to help you cope and heal. It has no timetable. Each person deals with loss differently. Try also to write down your feelings in your journal. It works for me, I hope it will work for you as well.

Please stay in the forum. Online groups like this will help you to feel less lonely knowing that you are not alone. I pray that you will remain hopeful. God bless.