Suicidal thoughts and attempts

[Kratos010]

My girlfriend has broken up with me saying she was never happy been together since high school almost 13years and now she tells me that for the last 5 years she was not happy just pretending while I work hard to provide for us but now am not good enough for her ,it's been two days now and the pain won't stop I have tried cutting myself and just dying but that didn't work and family is very angry with me ,why must I suffer like this ,I have been a good man doing the best u can with whatever I had ,maybe death will gease the pain ,pls help don't know what to do anymore

[TheGirlWithGlasses]

Sounds like she was taking advantage during those 5 years instead of talking it out with you so both of you could find a solution. Let yourself mourn, cry cause you're hurting, do all that without harming yourself, leaving scars on your body for someone like that is not worth it.

[Kratos010 in reply to TheGirlWithGlasses]

Thank you but it's very hard to get past it ,it's always playing in my mind ,what I could have done differently

[TheGirlWithGlasses in reply to Kratos010]

There isn't anything you could have done differently, she's the one who decided to stay quiet and not come forward

[Kratos010 in reply to TheGirlWithGlasses]

I just want the pain to end nd move on from it

[TheGirlWithGlasses in reply to Kratos010]

It's not that easy since you love her, it take times just try to make it day by day and you'll get there

[Kratos010 in reply to TheGirlWithGlasses]

I hope so ,that one day this will all be a distant memory

[TheGirlWithGlasses in reply to Kratos010]

It will

[Kratos010 in reply to TheGirlWithGlasses]

Thank u

[JEG325]

Talking about it is a good place to start. Here, there is a whole community of people experiencing various forms of pain and trauma in their lives. I will listen anytime you need to say something. My first girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I know that kind of pain. Another girlfriend broke up with me because she said just couldn't be with someone she had been friends with for a long time. I had known her since she was 4. I mean, what the heck? I sure was there for her when she needed it for years. Those two sad debacles occured close together and basically scared me away from women for years. I stayed straight but, just remained alone. You can't afford to do that. Talk to your friends about it alot. Especially if you have female friends. Don't let one relationship, no matter how long it was, derail your entire life. You are a good person who deserves to be happy. Go foreward, prosper and kick life in the butt. Everytime you succeed you can look at getting past this tragedy as the force that propelled you to a successful life. JEG 325 will always respond when I have time to. Luck to your future.

[Kratos010 in reply to JEG325]

Thank you and I hope one day to get past this And be good again

[Jdavid2000 in reply to JEG325]

The comment about talking to female friends is great--women can provide a lot of insight into other women that men just don't have naturally. Just make sure you see them as a friend only--now is not the time to mistake care for affection.

[Jdavid2000]

I totally get this. My wife said she wasn't happy for three years before we separated, and I'm sitting there thinking "you called me a good father and a good husband all that time.. how was I supposed to know I needed to be doing something different?"

You can't know, and communication needs to go both ways. The sad truth is people who don't communicate don't even want to fix it. I don't know your gf, but as I read more about relationships, people do this because they are scared, or want to be martyrs, or just were never fully invested in the first place. You can look like Brad Pitt while saving orphans from a fire and fighting crime and still the wrong person for you will leave--that is NOT on you. It maybe isn't even on them. Sometimes people don't know what they want and only think they do, and it doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

Death won't ease the pain--it will stop it. And it will stop joy, and it will stop everything. I know it hurts so badly now that stopping everything seems like an option, but think about anything you used to enjoy. Do you honestly want to never feel like that again? Do you never want to feel like you did when you felt love? It will happen again. Maybe not on your preferred timeline, but it will. I promise you. Once I accepted my relationship was over, I missed those days, sure...but I am free from the ups and downs now.

Give yourself one month. If you still want to end it, there's no rush, right? Hang in there...anyone who can feel the pain you feel now is a caring person and we need more caring people.

[Kratos010 in reply to Jdavid2000]

Am trying so much I already attempted cutting myself but didn't bleed out ,how does one find the strength

[Jdavid2000 in reply to Kratos010]

Time. Time to heal is what you need. Would you expect a person who just broke their arm to lift weights? Your emotions are the same. Give yourself time to heal so you can feel joy again. Don't cut yourself any more, please. You can private message me if you want. A lot of us have been where you are, balancing on the edge of depression and a life event like this sends us over.

[gerg]

Our lives are a continuous series of lessons. We need some pain for us to ever experience pure joy. A break up like yours should hurt, it means that you are alive. It will also serve several purposes in your future. Learning to deal with love is just as important as learning how to deal with loss. Neither is easy, but we need to move forward to truly live.

[Kratos010]

Yeah that's her exact words ,I mean I did everything I could to be a good man ,loved her kids like my own still do and yet that was not good enough, she would tell me almost always am a good dad and a good man ,I never cheated on her once or messed around all I care about was making sure she was well looked after and the kids

[Redfox9]

Bro, I have been in same position, and it's been one month for me.

Just remember that your family must be at main priority, your parents invested so many years on you, you have to think about them. they may have sacrificed many things to meet up your demands, if not for yourself but for them, stay strong.

They must be shattered seeing you like this, IK it's hard, i have been there,it's damn hard, but do it for your parents, family, friends.

Try to be strong, if you want to cry, then cry, It will help. But never think of going back to her again if she wanted to come back. Bcuz if she can leave one time, then she may leave you in future.

Just stay strong, am here to talk to, ping me if you feel sad or depressed, as IK exactly what you're going through.

[Kratos010 in reply to Redfox9]

Thanks man I means a lot

[Jdavid2000]

Whoah, I copied it and will email you, but delete that ASAP:). You don't want your email posted publicly, even here. The real people are the best, but bots and scammers will also get it.

[Jdavid2000 in reply to Jdavid2000]

Next time you can private message within the site, no need for direct email until you know it is safe.

[Kratos010]

Thanks am trying

[islegirl]

A lot of women as well as men will say something like that....I was never happy...for blah, blah, blah time........ Most of the time this is a coping mechanism to justify leaving. They may be trying to convince themselves that it justifies having taking advantage of you while they made plans to leave or it may be a way of dealing with their guilt for having found another partner and leaving. Don't take it personally. It is merely a coping mechanism to make them feel better. You will find another partner some day and may be pleasantly surprised that you are happier than ever and thankful this partner left, giving you the opportunity for an even happier and well matched relationship. Meanwhile, pamper yourself, be kind to yourself, learn to enjoy your own company(it's hard at first but then you can often appreciate not having to "answer" to someone). You might join some Meet Up groups. This is an app that helps you meet other singles that enjoy things you enjoy whether hiking, camping, kayaking, bicycling, partying, gaming, volunteering, job networking, going to movies, etc. There is something for everyone. I met an amazing bunch of friends this way, a partner that I dated for awhile, and I know many people that met new spouses that way. I wish you the best and just know that you will get through this and sometimes the best way is to get out and meet new people, develop or renew hobbies(especially those that get you outdoors), or use the time to rekindle older neglected relationships. And don't be afraid to let medicine(antidepressants) help you even if for a short time. Take your B vitamins, Vitamin C, and Zinc, Magnesium and Calcium. These are calming and soothing supplements that help during stressful times. And remember, when one door closes, another one always opens!

[Kratos010]

Thank u for ur message

[Rpan]

Ending a relationship is hard. How can anyone except such a big loss regardless or the reasoning. Be how you feel. Dying over this is not the answer. Get up and keep it moving. Reach out to friends. You will heal, your life isn’t ending.