I will signing off soon. Please respect my decision

I did some thinking and decided that in the next couples days I'm going to be closing this account soon. It, not you guy it me. It not working out for me and I don't belong here.

I can't get better, I try but it not good enough, All this talk about love yourself, believing in yourself, betting your self up, find happiness, don't give up, grateful, do what makes you happy, much more. I'm used to people give up on me, I'm used to people not reaching out for me, I will always be invisible for a very long time. It doesn't bother me, I just keep moving forward.

I think this site is great it helps a lot of people, but it just not right for me. It has nothing to do with pride or ego.

I have seen people find happiness, love, friendship, bonds, confidence, find each other, find purpose, so much more.

I have been going through a lot. My depressed just keep getting worse. No matter how many time I try it just not an enough. My journey is coming to an end.

[Susan512]

Im

[Susan512]

I'm sorry to hear that, you will be missed, you can always come back when you like it, God bless you. Take care please 💛

[Hidden in reply to Susan512]

Thank you. But I won't be missed. I'm an afterthought.

[Susan512]

Come back just to let us know how are you 🧡

[Hidden]

Wow I'm so sorry you are so down & feeling useless. I haven't talked to you but that doesn't mean I don't care. I do. I'm 100% positive you will be missed. I wish you all the best. Love & Hugs!!!

[kenster1]

hi zeld I was thinking the exact same as you a couple of days ago I was beginning to feel really low I deleted my account.after a while not even ten minutes probably I panicked.i felt I was loosing a vital support network for myself and just as important my need to try and help others.thankfully my account was restored again.you will never be an afterthought to your family and friends that's for sure or to the folk on here either.pm me if you want im here to chat.take care.

[Fatima_sh]

I respect your decision and I hope that you can feel better soon.

Remember that we are always here if you need us, sometimes it’s nice to vent out your anger/stress/sadness even if no one replies to your post.

Stay healthy, and farewell ! ❤️

[hunter4ransom]

Zeld,

I respect all my friends here and their decisions if it’s what is healthy and best for them.

I’m very worried about you. Your depression seems to be consuming you and I can feel the hopelessness in your post 💔. My anxiety is consuming me at the moment and I know that hopeless feeling all to well.

Do you have a friend, family member, doctor or therapist you can talk to? It may be time to reach out to them. You can’t do this alone. I know I certainly can’t. It takes a village and you are cared about by this online village even if we can’t support each other in person which is sometimes so needed and wanted.

You are not alone even though you feel that way right now.

We will always be here for you if/when needed.

Please be gentle with yourself my friend.

Eileen

[Hidden in reply to hunter4ransom]

I have no one. I don't care for family, my friends abandon me and throw me away.

[hypercat54]

Hi you are no different to any of us on here and are not more broken than we are. It's your mindset telling you that and you want to believe it. If you have given up then no one can help you but have you tried everything first? And I mean everything? If you haven't you owe it to yourself to. After all you have nothing to lose do you?

Don't you know you can't trust your depression thoughts so you have to listen to loved ones and us on here who understand instead. You can't tell us that we won't miss you because that is denying our feelings. We will miss you so believe it as it is true.

I wish you all the best. x

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

I'm not trying to hurt anyone feelings. I'm an afterthought. I try everything. Some of you are great and amazing people, to other people, They reach out for you. This site is not right for me I have to move on and let Y'all live your life.

When It comes to me. people shouldn't care about me.

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

No you are saying you are an afterthought - we aren't. We know how we feel so are telling you. What makes you different from the rest of us? I don't mean that harshly and you can join in with us if you want to. x

[Agora1]

dearest zeld, we all are hurting on this site that sometimes it's hard to know who to reach out to first. I'm sorry I never got the chance to really know you but it had nothing to do with you being an after thought. There are so many hours in the day and as it is 7 days a week from morning til night still doesn't cover everyone I would like to reach out to. What has made it easier is to know that everyone is in good hands because of the amazing men and women on this forum. They give with their hearts to support and understand when deep down they are crying for help as well.

I've always respected other's wishes and will continue to do so after all it is your life. They say "never say never" and I believe in that. Now is the time to take care of YOU but know if ever in a moments time you need that human contact, we will be here just a message away. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

It has nothing to do with any of you. It me. I see how each and one of you reach out, asking for advice, listening, telling a story about yourself and what you overcome. Most important seeking help to get better. When I see it I wish I had that confidence to reach out.

That great you guys have people on here who are about you, support, love, much more. don't be like me and not seek help.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Oh I totally understand what you are saying in that it's not about us but about you. After all, we can only do so much for another person but if that person doesn't want

to change, it's not going to happen.

I have been through hell and back with my anxiety. There were no support groups on line. I ran in circles mentally feeling doomed and a little sorry for myself. Why couldn't anyone save me? And then I realized it was because I didn't choose to save myself. I was looking for something outside of me when all the time the key was held by me alone.

It was a hard and long struggle to get where I am at. Believe me. Alone, no one understood. Friends?? What friends, I turned around and they were gone. Family? They didn't understand any better. Anxiety/mental illness is a lonely lonely disorder.

They was only one person I could lean on who really understood what I was going through and that was ME. Zeld, I knew I wanted to live and prove to myself and the world that I was here for a reason and I wasn't going to give up on that reason.

Thirty years later, here I am, passing my success forward to others who are struggling.

Hoping to give them hope and support that they will not have to go the length of years that I did. That's what makes it sad because help is more prevalent now a days. I have a daughter who has been anorexic for 8 years and refuses any help. I have all the contacts available for her but unless she will accept the help there is nothing I can do. So you see zeld, I do understand but I will also respect you. I can only hope that one day will come that will change my daughter's way of thinking and yours. I do care xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

It not about saving myself or helping myself. I don't matter. I'm just an afterthought.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

zeld, I wish our conversation and connection happened sooner. You see I believe in there being a reason that every person is here on this earth at the time that was chosen. You matter, I matter, all of us matter. We may not know the reason at the time but eventually we do.

I was just reading over some of your posts. The one that resonated with me the most was your childhood. No child should have had to endured what you did. It's something that if not addressed over the years keeps that adult broken. Well at least the child in you broken. This is heavy duty stuff which can only be addressed by a professional. I know you can be fixed. I know that you would find someone to love and cherish you. The reason being because you made it through the suffering and torment of childhood. You are stronger than you think you are. We learn from life's experiences both good and bad and in your case it seems that it was all bad. But you see zeld I read in one of your posts that you wanted to proceed forward. Just the fact that you even thought that is hope for you. With the right person guiding you, you can and will get through this. You can be fixed, you can heal, you can be the person that you were meant to be. I believe that challenges in life make us stronger. Don't allow your past to destroy you. I believe in you. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Oh my what beautiful advice Agora! Yes we do care for you & love you! Just because we haven't met doesn't mean our heart go out to you! You are special because there is only 1 you! Love & Hugs!!!

[Rpan]

Zeld you always leave me scratching my head, I, for the life of me don’t understand why you are so stubborn and set in this mindset. Thanks for posting this good bye, I wish you the best, I hope that at some point you are able to change your mind set. Loosing the victim mindset will set you free sir. No doubt that post will make you angry, as other posts I commented on with you, I just think you are not living up to you life’s potential, which is a continuous choice for you, I wish you the best and hope you stick around.

[Hidden in reply to Rpan]

If that how you feel It doesn't hurt me at all. Continue to help other, reach out, support, love and much more.

If you hate me, hate me and don't care about my own life.

[Rpan in reply to Hidden]

There is no hate here for you, in fact I feel the direct opposite towards you. Like I said your so stubborn and set in your ways, I say this with the utmost respect. I think you have so much to learn and leaving this site, for you,is a mistake. I think you have so much potential for growth, I wish you are able to see that. I grew up with the same mindset as you, I relied on often saying” I don’t care” deep down I really cared,but was unwilling to let others in. I often blamed everyone else. It was no way to live, it’s so limiting. We are creatures designed with an abundance of compassion for others and more importantly compassion for ourselves. I’ve learned this lesson, now I’m on to learning many more lessons. I learn reading posts on this forum, I see how others react and act towards others, I watch members speak these mind, I see members disagree, these are important life lessons, that will set us free from anxiety and depression. I watched you get angry, you mastered the art of being angry, this means to me that you are intelligent. I really think you can master the art of happiness, love,compassion,connection,thoughtfulness and much more. Don’t sell yourself short. It’s no time for you to move on.

[hypercat54]

No one hates you zeld except you. No one thinks of you as an after thought but you. We are all going through a bad time you know and not all of us are getting better or healing. Most of us find it hard to reach out to others too. x

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry you still feel so alone. I hope you will come back in the future. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. ♥️

[Hidden]

I understand you Zeld..im just curious to know why this site is not for you? ..I understand it doesn't have to be but I just want to know what you would connect to?..what is it you are looking for that you haven't found here?..like the others here, I care and want to be here for you..