I need advice. I overshared with my mother in law

[Poodlefanforlife]

over the weekend I was emotional telling my mother in law about my parents being alcoholics and that I was afraid when I have children they won’t be able to support me because I can’t trust if they’ll be sober. Then I proceeded to say I’m afraid my husband (her son), wouldn’t be around to help me that much either because he literally works way too many hours and when he comes home from work, he continues to all night. She’s very concerned about our marriage, wants us to get counseling and I think wants to talk to him about it. I REGRET saying anything. I have so much anxiety about him being mad at me, and her worry that we’re in an unhappy marriage.

She always tell me that I can talk to her about anything. She knows her son and my husband better than anyone so I felt at the time in was okay to tell her about it. I should have just gone to counseling for it. I told her at the time I would be ok if she wanted to talk to him about it because maybe she would be able to get through to him about how important it is to come home and spend time with your wife. Now I can’t stop thinking about how much my husband might be hurt that I talked to his mom about this and how worried she is..

My anxiety is through the roof.

[silentdreamer20]

It sounds like you have a loving MIL, be thankful for that! You should be able to talk to her if you need someone. You didn't say anything awful. I know the saying, "Don't invite others into your marriage. You can forgive and forget what others can't." But in your situation, you didn't say anything awful to her. You expressed your loneliness because your husband (her son) is working so much. He brings his work home with him. Maybe she can explain to him, from a mother's POV, that he can't work all the time. There needs to be time for work and time for family. I know you're anxious because he may not want you talking to his mom about your relationship, but in a different light, he should be happy that you and his mom have such a good relationship that you CAN talk to her about anything. So many of us do not have the option. Your MIL sounds like she is looking at you as a Daughter. She is concerned and wants to speak to him about working too much means that she is looking at this open-minded. That is rare to find, and you are lucky.

[Poodlefanforlife in reply to silentdreamer20]

Your response has given me the sigh of relief I’ve been looking for. Thank you for that. I realize I’m oversharing too much of my personal life/feelings lately. At the time it feels good to vent and get off my chest, but then I overthink and regret sharing. I haven’t been to a therapist in a long time, but today I’m making the effort to book an appointment.

[silentdreamer20 in reply to Poodlefanforlife]

I am the same way! I have a terrible habit of oversharing and then wanting to turn back time. The sense of relief turns to severe anxiety over what consequence could come from my overflowing words. Honestly, your MIL sounds really sweet. A lot of DILs pray for a MIL like this. Also, to help with my diarrhea of the mouth, I always have that one friend I can call to just word vomit everything and she doesn't hold anything over me. Otherwise, there is always this place to be able to do that and you are anonymous and you get real feedback! A few years back I was going through a really hard time in my marriage and I came here a lot to let everything out. I didn't have anyone I could talk to, not friends or family, because I didn't want anyone to hold anything over either of us. This was an amazing place because of the anonymity and getting real feedback was a lot of help, too. I am also in therapy, so, yay therapy! lol!

[Poodlefanforlife in reply to silentdreamer20]

I would love to connect. I’m going to message you.

[silentdreamer20 in reply to Poodlefanforlife]

That sounds great! 😍