I want my mother to understand

[MimGee]

I’m really bad at explaining myself and so when I try to explain to my mother abt my anxiety, she doesn’t think it’s that bad and therefore doesn’t believe me. She tells me I shouldn’t go around letting everyone know because it’s probably not actually anxiety. This rly hurts me because all I want is for her to understand. Now don’t get me wrong, my mother is an amazing person who tries her best to understand me, but unfortunately I am a very complicated person. I just wanna figure out how to tell her that she will understand. Anyone have any tips?

[MimGee]

She freaks out when I tell my closest friends which I don’t get. But other than that it makes perfect sense. Ik hats what she does I just wish that there was a way to get her to understand hat the best way to help me is to understand and accept it, u know? Like by pushing it away is not helping, it’s only making it worse.

[MimGee]

Right I guess that makes sense...

[Chelsearaex]

My parents had a hard time understanding at first as well. I think a lot of it just had to do with them not wanting to see their child go through anxiety and tried to almost “toughen” me up about it. It’s very difficult for someone who doesn’t have anxiety, depression, OCD, or any other (possibly debilitating) mental health issue to understand exactly what you’re going through when they haven’t been through it themselves. Sadly, because mental health is sometimes not taken as seriously as a physical issue or diseases, it’s really hard to explain what’s going on in your head to someone else. I personally talked to my parents about a lot of details of anxiety I have and showed them many videos explaining what I was going through. I’ve found quite a few videos on YouTube that explain anxiety pretty closely if not exactly like things I’ve been through with it. That may help to show her. I also brought my parents to my therapy apointments where my therapist explained a lot to them to help them understand. I hope you are well & I hope your mom starts to understand. Xoxoxo

[MimGee in reply to Chelsearaex]

Thx so much, I hope so too

[Chelsearaex]

I agree. Most of my friends and family know I have anxiety and most support me but having a few close friends to confide in is a good thing. Sadly, society does stigmatize anxiety and other mental health disorders because they’re sometimes not taken as seriously as physical disorders and diseases, etc. If it’s difficult to speak to your mom about these issues and you’d still like some help and ways to cope; There are many apps you can download to your phone for help with anxiety, as well as meditation and breathing exercises.

[MimGee in reply to Chelsearaex]

Right, thanks for the tips😊

[fauxartist]

often parents don't want their children to be hurting...so they think by telling you this is just not as bad as you think then they feel better about how your doing. Other parents take it personally when their child says they are not well...and blame themselves for maybe doing something they were not aware of to make the kid feel badly, and that makes them feel guilty...so again they want the kid to be okay. I would talk to a professional about how your feeling and leave your mother out of it.

[MimGee in reply to fauxartist]

Right so I think I may be able to get my mother to let me see a psychologist, but... we will see I guess

[hypercat54]

How old are you please MimGee? It's hard to give you any relevant advice without knowing this? x

[MimGee in reply to hypercat54]

I don’t rly want to give that info, but I’m younger, I can say that much. Because as helpful as everyone is, social media is still social media.

[hypercat54 in reply to MimGee]

Are you 16 or older? I am asking that coz you have to be on any HU site. x

[MimGee in reply to hypercat54]

Yes I am, don’t worry lol

[hypercat54 in reply to MimGee]

Ok thanks. This isn't social media in that sense and the site, unlike many, is well moderated and has a number of terms and conditions of use.

If you are concerned about privacy you need to lock your posts. x

[MimGee in reply to hypercat54]

I’m not concerned like that. I just don’t want to give out my age ok?

[fauxartist in reply to MimGee]

asked and answered MimGee....your okay...just keep sharing about what your feeling and going through...these are very kind people here, and many are young adults as well.

[MimGee in reply to fauxartist]

Ok thx so much again😊 when ppl ask me too many questions tho I start to get worked up so if ppl can try to avoid that, I would appreciate it.

[fauxartist in reply to MimGee]

just relax and share what your comfortable with, most people may ask a question or two only to get to know you better....your anonymous here, it's a safe place to share.

[MimGee in reply to fauxartist]

Right thank you.

[Jbold1 in reply to MimGee]

I understand completely wanting privacy, but you did come here looking for answers. It is sometimes difficult to offer help if we don't know all of the variables. I, too, was wondering your age for I have dealt with a similar situation but seem to be MUCH older than you. I am in my lower 40s but have a grandson if you can believe that, lol. All three of my kids are now adults...if you can call them adults, lol.

Anyway, I was molested at the age of six by our babysitter's son who was 12 at the time. I don't remember how long it went on, but I didn't tell a soul until I saw one of those after-school specials, when I was finally 12-yrs old, that talked about telling your parents about strange things that happen to you. So, I went to tell my mom who had just come home from work & had plopped herself down in HER recliner to watch HER VCR recording of Days of Our Lives, which she did EVERY evening. I finally told her,...I told her that I had been molested by a friend of the family, someone from our church, someone who we trusted! Guess what she said. She said, "You must be mistaken," and she shooed me out of the way cuz I was blocking her view of the TV. Wtf?!

Needless to say, I haven't been able to trust my mother for thirty whole years. Also, her mother (so, my grandma) was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, and she lived with our family my whole life. Did my mom ever take care of her own mother during those years? No, my dad was always the one taking care of her, taking her to and from her electric shock treatments and haircuts and helping her up and to the bathroom when she'd fallen on the floor and hit her poor head yet another after a med change. Did my mom care that her mom was bleeding from the head as I, a little girl, looked on from the hallway in my jammies? That'd be a no.

So, when it came out that I had all of these mental health issues in my adulthood, Idk if my mom was surprised, but she certainly didn't care. If I EVER disagree with anyone or cry or raise my voice, she'll say things like, "Julie needs to go to the hospital!" As if I'm going to grab a knife and kill everyone in their sleep or something, mom! Am I not allowed to vent or have feelings? Am I supposed to be purely emotionless like you, mom? One time, I think it was even this year, I asked her why she hated me, she glanced around to make sure no one was looking and then gave me this smiling sneer as if to say, "Because I do/can." What did I ever do?

Sorry, I'm done with my rant. I have told myself so many times that I wasn't going to cry anymore tears for her, but foolish me always does. I just wanted to show you that it could ALWAYS be worse, right?

*If you shed even one tear either for you or me, plz click "like". I have a feeling that someone will identify with this post.