The struggle is real, my raison d'etre is shot away, and the holiday times fill me with gloom, I get no joy from anything, I feel weighed down and so anxious, afraid of everything and nervous when i venture outside.
I have so much i need to get done, but a kind of blockage prevents me from moving forward, everything before me seems like a huge mountain to climb, and my coping mechanism has all but deserted me.
I certainly have had no let up since i have been living alone ,it's been a hell on earth, even my faith which has always mattered to me i now find myself questioning.
Life has become an ever-deepening pit.
My saving grace has been my two wee dogs, Yonnnie and Diva, I love them unreservedly, but they again come at a price because they prevent me taking part in many trips out, so basically i become housebound.
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secrets22
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You are not alone in how you feel. I feel no joy in life anymore either and I wonder "where is God?" I'm glad you have your furbabies. Maybe you could put them in the car and go for a ride. Do you have a friend that you could call and talk about these feelings? If no, do you have a therapist? We all need someone to talk to. We were not created to be alone and isolated. I'm glad you posted to this group. There are a lot of caring people here with lots of good advice and support. I hope you have a good day today.
We all get times don't we when we feel fed up and depressed no matter how great our circumstances are!
Point is money means nothing when you aren't happy!
Today here we decided on a salad for lunch again made up of ingredients left over from other meals we have had over the Easter weekend and some posh lettuce leaves as we ran out of lettuce and leftover chicken from yesterday's roast dinner!
hello Barbloki....and like you i ask myself, where is God......i have always led a very dutiful life never harming anyone in words or deeds, and yet i am overwhelmed with anxiety and fears. I do live in an isolated area and can go days without seeing anyone and the silence is deafening.
I live in a rural area too and now that I no longer work, I have no reason to get up in the morning. I am overwhelmed too. I just started reading a book by Caroline Leaf called Switch On Your Brain. She's a scientist AND a Christian. It's very interesting so far and she believes we can fix our anxiety with God's help. I haven't gotten to that part yet but everything she says makes sense and confirms other books I've read about the brain and neuroplasticity. I have to find a fix for this toxic brain of mine!
Good afternoon I am very surprised to hear this from you .
You live in such a beautiful home and I can't why you would reason like this, unless I am referring to another Secrets .
I have trouble focusing and I am easily distracted and having to build up the energy every day is a task and if your brain is telling you , I can't cope this is what will happen.
I have come this site repetitive and boring at times, but this is a site for anxiety and those with mental health issues other wise , we would not be on this site .
I can understand the faith aspect but faith in my view can come and go like waves of the sea.
When we are low, we question our faith and our raise d'etre .
I have been a rebel today due to my Mother's excessive calling and anxiety issues but I hope to restart my fast again tommorow .
Just to face the day and find a purpose which can bring some joy is crucial to our well being.
But our perception and how we see our life unfold at times as we get older, our energies or youthful optimism gives way to a practical reality.
hello Roukaya yes i do live in a beautiful home but it comes with a lot of responsibility, having tenants and continuous upkeep on this huge house has brought me to the brink and if anything, dealing with tenants can be a trigger and honestly i am not equipped with dealing with unpleasant people, i like to lead a calm measured existence and running a business is not my forte which is why i want to get out of here, ....and breath. Unfortunately trying to sell up in the present climate is far from easy and I'm exhausted.
In 2012, I became a Landlady by default as my Father due to a brain injury did not have the cognitive ability to administer his buy to let Property Portfolio and I was delegated to manage 13 Properties with all kind of Asbo Tenants , Rockveilers and those who had simply disregard for the daughter of the Landlord.
I had to restructure the entire business model and appoint a new managing agent who later was to take advantage of me.
My own Father was involved with one of his Tenants and it would seem an elderly adult was being targeted for his money .
In the end all the properties were sold at auction in two lots and I prayed for them to be sold .
So from being incredibly busy , I am starting over by studying Landlord and Tenant and Conveyancing but I am trying to find a Legal practice willing to give me the opportunity of retraining.
In selling my Father’s Properties, I had to let them go .
It was my Fathers dream and not mine .
He had over borrowed in terms of buy to let mortgages , Repairs alone amounted to £15,000 per annum and in the end my Father’s business was becoming unsustainable.
It is essential to strike a balance and make an informed decision whether having so many rental properties is really worth it given the cost to your own mental and physical well being .
Such properties are lead weights , they weigh you down .
I have gone from one extreme to another so I have some understanding of the issues you are facing .
Would you consider delegating your Property Portfolio to a managing agent and yourself managing the Agent .
I remember I was inundated with worry and a wise neighbour once told me , one day you will not receive a call or a letter from any disgruntled Tenant which is true .
I only have one rental property and this is managed by a first class letting agent but they charge a huge management fee .
Actually i do use a letting agent, and they have been very good to me but their charges are enormous as you mentioned, but living in close proximity to tenants is not for the faint hearted as you well know, and of course when things have to be replaced or major repair works carried out it runs into thousands instead of hundreds. I must downsize for my own sanity and i know this, for the weight of worries is wrecking my life. Thankyou for your input, much appreciated.
I think your mental well being is paramount and I would pray non stop to sell my Father’s Property Portfolio.
Being a Landlady of multiple rental properties is not for the faint hearted .
Thank you for your reply but you have an extremely beautiful house and many of us would dream to aspire .
It will take time for you to take the necessary steps but it can be done bit by bit which can eventually free your mind from the weight of the responsibility.
I think above all health is crucially important because without health what can we do.But having come close to losing my Father's business , having money to pay bills and put food on the table is an absolute necessity and money can help with this and provide peace of mind .
Not having money to purchase the essentials can cause great stress and anxiety.
You are right health is crucial , in fact it is far more important than money in my opinion , if you have no money to buy food there is always a way to get some from somewhere, or somebody, where’s you cannot buy good health
That’s the down side of having dogs isnt it, we always had dogs and they used to come with us on holidays to a cottage somewhere, but now we feel it’s not fair on the dog as we are both older and not so fit, but we do miss them terribly.
I had a melt down a couple of years ago and just couldn’t cope with anything which isn’t me, I was crying didn’t want to see anyone, or talk to anyone , I didn’t know what to do with myself, in the end I had to see my Dr, who wasn’t too helpful ,gave me some antidepressants which made me feel worse, I persevered though and then I saw a locum Doctor after trying three different ones eventually found one which I’ve been on for two years and feel so much better , im down to a very low dose now and 🫰feel ok. there is light at the end of the tunnel, have a chat with your GP, take care
So glad you are now feeling much better, but like you were once, I cannot cope and its a very trying. I have had counselling in the past for a long time until they signed me off, saying I no longer needed them, but little did they know , i am worse than I've ever been. Certainly, my dogs have been a godsend but they are a big tie.
You say in the past, so you may well need help again now, did you ever try any antidepressants at all, I would definitely have a chat with your G P again x
One day we took Baby out on her lead to the Brecon Beacons when she was a proper little kitten and we have had our friends dogs and kids come out on trips with us in the past which have been enjoyable so perhaps you and the dogs could see about doing an outing together in due course!
I am looking forward to starting work tomorrow at 8am and we have had a salad this lunchtime comprising of leftovers from Easter lunch as we had it at home yesterday and saved ourselves a small fortune on having it out!
Since I moved up here last May I have become homely having most meals home cooked but still having the odd meal out now and again and really really look forward to them!
Thanks although I am looking forward to tomorrow I do feel nervous about going to a new place where I don't know anyone!It will be an 8am start so up early and finishing at 3.30pm and then to swimming for 5pm.
It was nice wasn't it last night when it didn't go dark until 8pm?
I'm glad the winter has finished as I found it extremely hard going but I survived it though!
Hi Roddy. I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles with balancing getting out of the house and keeping an eye out for your little puppies. Is there a dog sitting service near you that could look after them while you are out. I know it costs money but it may help your sanity and boost your morale. I hire a local firm and use the same sitter because she is very trustworthy and the gang loves her. Please keep in touch and let me know how you're getting along. Best regards , Marc
Thankyou Marc , i will take a look out for dogsitters but i'm in quite an isolated area which makes it more difficult.
Hello dear friend 🤗 I understand somewhat of not been able to go on a much needed break ten years I've not been out the nebourhood other than probably one or 2 of I'm lucky trips to seaside, I look after my sisters cat and a lady from her art classes 2 cats so they can go away, she wants to see me about care for her pets if she's in hospital or a home as she has a degenerative brain disease, I can't take on any more cats, I've enough to deal with with mine at times bless him 🙄😸 I don't have the conventional faith as you know I believe in astrology and spirit guides, and that the soul lives on, mercury is going retrograde right now and will effect communication misunderstandings tech issues so beware read things twice and allow for delays etc, things get held back for us all right now, so take heed the new moon will help on sunday as it starts to grow again, I often feel reclusive but when make effort to go out except in winter I enjoy it, as you know my time is taken up by endless DIY last house this house mam's, I stupidly decide to take the old beadings off for the new carpet bottom of skirting 🙄hard job but I'm getting there, from now on I'll choose the easy option, I'm getting carpet fitters in usually I'd lay it myself there's 2 to do but I'll do my stairs simple soft back carpet I'm recycling from the new parts where the sofas where, makes sense to me, we shouldn't be slaves to our houses and I know yours is getting you down so let's make life simpler, I've heard of places you can go that take dogs lodges perhaps, a new start new change of scene i feel is much needed by you and althought i love my park location, my friend is in on a Carribbean cruise, she has a life goes away a lot,mam watched jane Macdonald yesterday cruising, if you sell your house you can free up some money and maby your friend Steve would go with you, even singles go away and get chatting to others, or he may help with your dogs if you can't take them, sending love and hugs 🤗💛✨🌻xxx sun be out soon it makes a difference
Thanks for the reassurance I'm not nuts lol it's tried and tested and said before your Aries a fighter you'll fight this battle and win, we all have set backs weak moments, as do I also buy I'm also a fire sine like you and plod on I just need to stop been impulsive and think twice as you can see from my latest DIY, I never had a house before with beading on the skerting the other rooms can keep it I'm done with unessasary jobs, I do wish I could jump on a boat and clear off to the sun and relax, this clock change has tired me out, I enjoyed been in garden other day in the sun, im heading off to supermarket see if reduced choc eggs, and more cheap veg etc, Holliday's like Easter we'll it just makes it hard for those alone brings it home, this time will pass, deep 🙏🌈xx
Lol I'm nuts
in reply to
Now the paints rubbish on bottom skirting let's hope the carpet covers it when they lay it because I'm not doing it lol, hopefully your next post won't have my DIY nightmares on 🙏🤩
Hi M, you say about places that take dogs on holiday, over the years we went to many places ,, cottages and even hotels that took dogs , even just a weekend can help to have a break from everyday care.
Hi M I read on your depresshion I remember you saying about that it was during pandemic a lot were depressed then, many stay on low dose with your currant situation not been great, my friend's husband's still on but dernt come off he's fine now, I think I might be a bit depressed myself since I got my colitis diagnosis even tho I've no symptoms now I don't know what's going on inside or if it will come back I wake most mornings crying and over thinking stuff about mam too, the future etc and the past, I read you can be depressed without knowing it, I am getting on with DIY anyway the builders coming back Wednesday to finish off then carpets can come, our sunflowers got eat one batch that mam planted from.seed kept potting them on 9 still got some it was just the green top so many something flying in the greenhouse how sad more life's gone they won't see the sun or summer now, I've had lanzaprosil I have bad pain in my upper tummy think maby start of ulcer had one ten years ago same time as got my colitis ill see doc if no better tomorrow 💛✨🌻xx
Hi, can you eat sunflowers then? I’ve bought some seeds but not put them in yet, are they easy to grow🌻
Yes it’s a horrible feeling , when you wake up like that, but as I say the tabs helped me a lot to cope, , I.m On lanzopronol too for my stomach one a day.
Not sure about eating sunflowers but the creatures eat everything I know some people with strong teeth and stomaches do eat various seeds maby sunflowers I couldn't, I hope therel be ok when planted if so I'll have my photo done with one I was looking forward to a big row
"I have so much i need to get done, but a kind of blockage prevents me from moving forward, everything before me seems like a huge mountain to climb, and my coping mechanism has all but deserted me."
"I have so much i need to get done, but a kind of blockage prevents me from moving forward, everything before me seems like a huge mountain to climb, and my coping mechanism has all but deserted me."
Secrets,
Is it possible to hire somebody, even if it's part-time or on a temp basis to help take some of the stress off your plate?
IDK, if that's an option, but just trying to help.
I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. I'm in a similar boat of feeling this ever-looming dread and it's hard for me to get up and do the things I need to do as well. Do you have people to call and talk to? Not necessarily about your situation, because I know how uncomfortable it can be to be that vulnerable with somebody. But about anything else. Something to get your mind into a happier and more free place? I wish I had more advice or words to help, but I myself am trying to figure this out too. At least we're not alone in that regard. I'm praying for you and I hope you find ease one day that will help heal your heart.
Thankyou.....I do have a couple of people i can talk to but only one I can confide in, but then again i dont find it easy bearing my soul to people. I am quite a private individual and i have been badly let down in the past with people i thought i could trust, but in truth very few of us have real friends, they are but acquaintances. And i am saddened to hear you are in a similar boat.
Hello Secrets22,When I read your post I thought I had written it! What you wrote was my life for so many years (24 to be exact). Since 2018 when I was hospitalized for bipolar 2 & anxiety and major depression, PTSD my daily word for the day was 'struggle'.
I had had a full blown nervous breakdown.
My life is much better now, the last year the struggle has become 'manageable'. One thing that helped me was to let go of things that were not my responsibility, and not to pick up somebody else's. I also dropped my expectations a notch or 2 from others lessening disappointment if it cropped up. The big thing that kept me from beating myself up, was to quit comparing everything. Life is not fair...one of the givens.
Gosh, thank you , and i am heartened to know there are others who feel as i do, because the isolation and feelings of dread are all encompassing, it covers every waking hour. Did you have constructive help with your breakdown ? I am slowly letting things go of things which no longer serve me, but that in itself is a difficulty to overcome and as you say, life isn't fair.
Yes Secrets22, I had help. I had a understanding & kind therapist who was down to earth & listened. He retired last year, I thank God for every minute & hour he spent working with me. I was fortunate to have therapy 2x a week if I needed it, for 1 year. Rarely did I need more than a visit a week. I then moved into CBT and it has been beneficial....oh and much personal work. Best, Navar
What is the cause of the anxiety and fear? Do you have a diagnosis?In the meantime, get out, go and do. Isolating will just make things far worse. The Devil likes to have you and your thoughts all to himself in a corner so he can get you into a death spiral.
I dont really know but i have always been an anxious guy, and a people pleaser, and most things seem to stem from childhood. We are all pretty complexed and mixed up individuals.
You MUST find out the cause or there is no hope of cure or treatment. You can't shoot back if you don't know where the shots are coming from. Go make an appt with a doc.
I listened to a message this morning by Dr David Jeremiah and after reading your message here, I think it might help you to know you are under spiritual attack. Here is the message if you are interested. davidjeremiah.org/radio/pla...
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Getting tired [venting]
Life beyond your control
I'm tired of trying. 
I'm tired of smiling 
