This past Monday my dad passed away. I’ve already been struggling with panic and depression and now it’s been so much worse this last week. I was already feeling bad and now I feel so terrible, I panicked 12 times in the last 5 days it just doesn’t want to stop. I don’t know what to do, and now I have vague bad thoughts, feel so hopeless, what should I do? I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to go to the ER for relief. But what can I do when the panic attacks hit one after the other, last 30-60 minutes, and feel like they just won’t stop?
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Icewall42
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I would find a therapist who can teach you some specific techniques to deal with the feelings of panic and anxiety. I call it a feeling of spinning up, into a zone where everything feels like its getting worse, and I have no control over anything. Go on YouTube and search for panic and guided meditations. Theres one I really like where the lady talks me down, she seems to understand the loos of control and safety, and reminds me that I got this.
There are many tools available, and I understand how the death of your dad could feel threatening to your safety and sanity to bear what just happened. Its critical that you get some tools and techniques BEFORE you end up in the hospital without your choice. I have not had good experiences at hospitals, but just be careful if they are not as supportive as they should be. I'm glad the other poster had such a comforting experience. Everyone and every hospital is different. But, please, this is the time to find a therapist to support you through your grief. Do it for you, you are worth the help you need through this trying time. It can make a huge difference in the big picture of your life.
Im so sorry of your loss. You are in crisis. And rightly so. Sometimes we need an outside point of view to help us when we are in crisis. Obviously grief has stages. But what your experiencing sounds acute and should prompt you to seek help. Whether thats going to the ER, calling your GP or calling family and friends and letting them know how diffucult things are right now. The acuity of your symptoms will improve but dont put off getting help now. May the peace of God cover you. I will say a prayer for you. Again, my condolences on your loss.
Maybe go to urgent care and they could give you something to calm you till you can get into your regular doctor . My condolences 💐 to you and your family ! When my dad passed it did this exact same thing so keep on top of all your health care needs ❤️💕
You’re not. I spun out of control this winter because my best friend got diagnosed with terminal cancer, out of a clear blue sky. Husband and other best friend are already dead, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. After months of deep misery I went to a psychologist and got a little calmer. Now my mother in law is in the hospital. About a year ago my stepmother died, and my father’s dementia suddenly got extreme (both occurred after they got corona), effectively removing both of them from the picture.I’m in panic much of the time. It can’t be reasoned with anymore. Do you have real panic attacks as in: feels like having a heart attack? I don’t, but it’s still awful. I wake up in the nights and the mornings with this primeval sense of horror, and it gets better, only to strike again a little later. I have a stomach ache and nausea 24/7 due to fear.
I totally understand how your father’s death would affect you. My father and I had a very close bond, and though he isn’t dead yet (that can happen any moment) he is effectively gone. Seems like everyone is dead. My body is constantly in alert state. Even when I get a little calmer, some wanker is unkind to me in the street and I go into full flight or fight for days.
If you like, you could pm me when you’re having the panic. I’m fairly good at getting someone else calmer (the few people I talk to when things are bad, are not. My sister and an ex I’m close with often make it worse. By being critical, overbearing, offering forceful advice.)
Icewall42 i too am very sorry for your loss. I find when a death occurs our minds hearts try to compensate for pain in so many ways.For me a feeling of no control seems everywhere and can end up in panic.Pls get the help you may need and even clergy can assist.Know this..Panic attacks are not your fault.. a bodies reactions are what they are. make sure you are eating and drinking..take care of you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I agree if the panic attacks are so frequent and long I would go to the ER. They can refer you to a therapist right away. I did that for depression/anxiety. In the mean time they can give you something to calm you down so you can rest.
I am so sorry what you are going through with the loss of your Father. I know how you feel as I lost my Father a little over a month before I turned 15 & it literally turned my world up-side-down. I didn’t succumb to Depression but I watched my Mother go down “that rabbit hole” and never really came out. And, Me? I had what I refer my breakdown as “a meltdown”. So, you are NOT alone in how you feel. If you see a therapist/psychiatrist or just your PC and you haven’t told Her/Him what you have told us here please do that ASAP! If you are not under a doctor’s care (As I mentioned above.) please contact your local Health Department expaining what you need and why. I personally would not use (Nor reccomend using) any Emergency Room for mental health problem UNLESS: 1. You feel you will harm yourself/others. 2. You do not feel safe for reasons as stated earlier.I had better. Be going …Doesn’t look like I’ll be sleeping tonight. It’s almost 0500hrs & I’m not even tired! But, you might be, so …..
Isnt it awful. 10 years ago next month, this was me.
1. Have you allowed yourself to cry?
Watch a sad movie, read a sad book, listen to a sad song...Do something that will allow you to release your tears. It is what your body needs to stop turning on itself....release of tension you are using to get thru the " next thing".
2. Can you call your family doctor for something for anxiety? If you can, do so. This will help, as well, at least for now.
3.Realize you have just lost the presence of someone you have known all your life. Do not expect anything to be " normal". Your world is upside down.
Take care of you or you will surely " shut down" spiritually, physically, & mentally.
Your dad would not want that. Grief is tricky.... You ache & for now, no one will think badly of you. But, grief is NO measure of how much you love your dad.
Find someone who will let you get your feelings " out".
I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve discovered grief eventually subsides, but it takes time and there is always a hole in the heart left by the loved one. But on the positive side in time you will adjust if you can get through the tough periods. I understand you had suffered from depression before your dad died. I suggest taking medication which should help especially with the panic attacks. The sooner you take medication the less severe your panic and depression will become and you will recover over time. There are many good suggestions from people here, therapists (if you can afford one), church (if you believe, and can find the right person to listen to you), books etc. Try to think and understand what you are going through on an intellectual level, try to be with other people so you’re not alone for too long, take medications and get professional medical help. It’s a process. I wish you all the best and that you can come through this a stronger person.
do you have a meds doctor to get you on anti anxiety meds or xanax etc?do you have a therapist?after 22 years of daily panic attacks etc i cried to GOD and ask him to take this shit off of me...my panic attacks have mainly disappeared over the last 4 months but i still have some uncomfortable days...i know exactly what your going through and i lost my dad and couldnt go see him cuz he was in another state and i have agoraphobia and cant travel so that was brutal and i beat myself up with guilt for 15 years/DONT DO THAT TO YOURSELF PLEASE.......i started thinking more positive thoughts everyday also instead of wondering when i was gonna have my next panic attacks etc and it helps me......maybe you need to see if you can be admitted to a facility that deals with mental illness,,,i was in one for 3 weeks and they did EVERYTHING TO ME but it helped me for about 6 months.this is a long/changing journey for you and i pray you dont EVER GIVE UP..PEACE TO YOU ALWAYS//////DAVID
Wow, that sounds really rough… I really hope this calms down. I almost went into a facility some time ago but no one thought it would be a good idea, so I didn’t. Not sure now if that was a good or bad thing.
My deepest sympathies on the losing of your dad. My dad passed Jan 10th of this year therefore, I totally understand your feelings and what you are going through. Seek help and know it will get a little easier. Just take one day at a time. I also listen to Dr Tracey Marks on YouTube. She’s awesome! Blessings.
I am so sorry for your loss. It's understandable what you're going through. Does anything help walking , hot bath, music, meditation, calling a crisis line?When my mother passed away a few years ago. I found two local grief groups that were free and I paid to go to a grief counselor too and I found a statewide crisis line that I called a whole lot. I needed all those things and they helped.
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Never ending anxiety and intrusive thoughts
Panic! at the ER 
Panic Attack
Horrible disabling anxiety 
I feel like I’ve done something horrible all the time… maybe I have 
