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I’m new here . But I’ve been having panic attacks and anxiety attacks severely . It’s interfering with my life . I’m a new mom. But afraid of everything. I’m afraid to eat , I’m afraid to sleep , I’m afraid of taking medication. I’m just afraid of dying . And I feel like I’m such a failure , like I’m a bother , and me talking about what’s going on is annoying others . And when the panic attacks happen, they are the worst . I’ve been in and out the hospital about so many things I felt like was wrong just to be told it’s nothing wrong . I feel crazy . And just don’t know what to do . I’ve never had this before . They say it postpartum anxiety depression , but it’s bad and just want someone to talk to ya know ?

17 Replies

Hey! Congratulations on being a new mommy!

I started experiencing regular anxiety and panic when my oldest was about a year. Constantly worrying about what would happen if I couldn't be around to take care of him. I suffered quietly for a long time. I am going to tell you right now, see your physician. There are options out there that can offer relief. There is absolutely NO shame in getting help. If you feel your physician isn't helping you, get a second opinion, a third even. I don't think there is anything that can help immediately, but there are things you can do to help handle the symptoms you are feeling right now. Take your baby out for a walk in the sun shine. Read a book, art is good, go to a hobby store and maybe start making something, taking naps when your baby sleeps will help a lot. Sing and dance to your favorite songs. Music is excellent for babies too. When you feel out of control like you are going to completely lose it, lay down flat on your back on the floor and place your legs straight up on the wall. That lowers pulse and blood pressure. Relax in childs pose too. One day at a time. You're not alone! I am curious, why are you afraid of taking medications? If it's benzos you're afraid of, there are other options.

Newmum83 in reply to BecR1025

Thanks so much for responding , but my situation is a little bit deeper than what I posted , yes I’m a new mom, first kid , but I have a preemie . He was due October 14th but came August 3rd . I went in for an exam for flu like symptoms and was rushed to the hospital for my blood pressure being extremely high , and found out I had preeclampsia and had an emergency c section . So while I was there I was pumped with so many medications that just made my body do weird things , so I gained a phobia of meds . Seems like I have to look them up on google ( which doesn’t help ) to help me but it just makes it worst . Same as food , because of how high my blood pressure was (over 200) I look up foods , and if it has high sodium , or anything I panic and don’t eat . So it’s really hard for me , I never dealt with this before . And ofcourse my son is in NICU , so it’s just a lot

BecR1025 in reply to Newmum83

I also had preeclampsia with 2 out of my 3 kids, so that much I understand. But my kids were not preemies nor in the nicu. So I am sorry that is something you have to go through. Just know that your baby is in excellent care and medical technology today is amazing.

I feel like I have no right to say this since I definitely do not practice what I preach with this, but STAY OFF OF GOOGLE! Especially in regards to medications. People tend to report terrible reviews rather than good reviews. What one medication may work for some, won't work for others. There are natural ways to help with anxiety and depression, but if it comes down to it, medication is okay too. Do you drink tea?? Lavender chamomile is pretty good, smells amazing and can help you relax some. Especially before bed.

Newmum83 in reply to BecR1025

Omg yes ! It’s hard to stay off google. But it seems like I’m draw to it with everything . Literally . Never thought my pregnancy would’ve went that way but it was just traumatic for me , considering

I was pretty healthy before my pregnancy so it’s just overwhelming . I gained anxiety while I was still in the hospital and surprisingly they gave me this little pin you put on your shirt but the smell of it was lavender vanilla , and it actually helped . So I will definitely try the tea ! But yes EVERYTIME I have been to my doctors my heart starts racing. And I don’t want them to take it and I see that it’s high . I’m trying to get over this whole thing because my fear of foods is a interference with me breast pumping . I’m just a mess

BecR1025 in reply to Newmum83

Ugh! Stupid blood pressure! It takes time, but this will pass. I honestly wish I could tell you something to make you feel immediately better, but it's an uphill battle. Just slow down and do the best you can. As for eating, just keep taking little bites here and there throughout the day. Try not to go longer than two hours without eating a little something. Trail mix, jello, a sandwich, whatever. Be sure to continue taking your prenatal vitamins since you're pumping. That way you wont go without any essential nutrients. Make sure you're staying hydrated too. Add some fruits to your water. Some mint will help with your tummy.

Newmum83 in reply to BecR1025

Thanks so much for being an ear . It’s really hard for me , and to know someone understand helps already x1000. I’ll try slowing down, and healing completely . Will try with the eating and staying hydrated . !

BecR1025 in reply to Newmum83

I know it sucks when you feel all alone and like you're a bother. It's nice to learn you're not the only one with the same physical symptoms. Especially when you have health anxiety or are a hypochondriac like I am. Physical symptoms are so scary. But you can only do what you can and don't try to push yourself to the point where you are so overwhelmed you can't function. If you miss a pumping session, don't stress, if you're running five minutes late to whatever, no big deal. Becoming a new mom is stressful in itself, but to add on what you're going through? You lady, are way stronger than you think.

Newmum83 in reply to BecR1025

Thanks so much , and honestly without you knowing , you have helped me with my anxiety already ! Thanks so much. Your right . Guess I just didn’t notice , that there are others .

BecR1025 in reply to Newmum83

My blood pressure was in the 200s/100s. Even though it's been years, I am still afraid of getting my blood pressure taken because of how high it was and the emergency admittance and inductions. So now my doctors will take it 2-3 times at each appointment because I stress myself out so much about having it taken. I totally get the fear of blood pressure readings.

Hey, welcome ♥️

I'm sorry you're dealing with all that as a new mom. Just know, if you're new to anxiety, that it is treatable and you can make progress with it.

Are you able to get help with it e.g. from a therapist or doctor?

Thanks for welcoming me . I have a consultation with a therapist but honestly , it didn’t help . Just made me realize more than ever that I am suffering from anxiety , and panic attacks , and I don’t know how to control them . I thought about talking to another therapist and maybe someone who knows more about postpartum , but I can’t seem to push myself in going after that one visit

I'm sorry it didn't go well. When I was first looking for a therapist, I talked to one who just didn't seem to get it at all. But then the next one I consulted with seemed to really understand, and we clicked.

I know it's hard while you're dealing with anxiety to do anything, but try to push through to accomplish finding a therapist, because they can really help guide you toward what's going to be helpful. Panicking about having anxiety is totally normal. It's part of most people's experience with anxiety. All of it can be better with the right treatment/strategies.

While you're waiting to find a therapist, you might seek out some self help resources. I like the info on this site:

He has a couple books too, that I've found helpful.

There's also a classic book called "Hope And Help For Your Nerves" that many people find helpful.

Thanks so much , I’ll give the site a try. Even go to my local library and look at some books . But I guess I will give it a second try maybe a third , because I feel like I want to discuss it with a therapist

Maybe you are low on progesterone, levels of progesterone drop after giving birth in fact I believe low or no progesterone is the cause of ppp

estrogen is excititory but progesterone modetates estrogen, progesterone is calming

I sometimes use natural progesterone cream

I really hope you feel better soon

Thanks so much. I will definitely look into that .! Anything will help

I've been through these anxiety and panic attacks from 2004 to 2008, and what started to help me get better was taking medicine. I felt more control over them and they were getting less and less hard. And some time they have stopped. The medicine helped me to control the irrational sensation of fear. Another thing that helped was distracting all the time with movies, music, books, going out, games, anything to take your mind away. This way you stop thinking over it all the time. Another thing i did was always think that i'm better than yesterday. "I may not be 100% today, but i'm evolving, i'm better than yesterday and much better than last month" This was actually happening, it started with the medicine but ended in me getting more confident every day. It will go away, it's possible.

I think you've already gotten some great ideas from others about alleviating the stress and anxiety, but as a Registered Nurse, I'll give you my input.

First of all, having a preemie and a baby in NICU now is very stressful, so it's understandable that you're feeling all these things. Congratulations on your new baby! I'm so thankful for today's technology that allows these preemies to live!

It's important that you recognize that what happened to you in the hospital was one event and is not indicative of what all meds will do to you. Keep it in perspective. If you are experiencing PPD (post-partum depression), there are lots of things you can do for that. I suggest that you see a midwife, as they are much more aware of PPD symptoms and treatments than doctors (surprisingly). My daughter is a midwife and she has helped so many women with this, and they often do house calls. There's absolutely no shame in it; it's more common than anyone would think.

Does the hospital where your baby is offer a class on post-partum baby care, self-care, or having a preemie? You might want to ask one of the nurses who cares for your baby in NICU. There may also be a support group for mothers of preemies. The more support you have, the better you'll feel.

As you know already, it's so important for your milk production to eat healthy foods. You can't go wrong with fruits, vegetables, organic meats and grains...just avoid sugary stuff, processed foods, soda and caffeine, and junk food. You don't have to Google foods with one ingredient, as they by nature are healthy (such as apple, cucumber, chicken, peach, tomato, rice, potato, etc.). It's the stuff with lots of ingredients that can be troublesome, because they usually involve sugar, chemicals, and additives.

To see where your blood pressure is on a normal, daily basis, go to one of those stores that has a blood pressure machine and take it yourself (Walmart, RiteAid, etc). You won't have the anxiety of being around a doctor, so it'll likely be your baseline. Write it down every time so you can show a doctor next time you go, and make sure they understand your situation (it's called "white-coat syndrome"...nervousness around medical personnel in white coats that automatically makes your pressure rise).

If you are a person of faith, pray for your baby and yourself, and cast all your burdens on the Lord because he cares for you. He does not want you to be anxious, but to trust him with all your concerns and worries and he wants to give you peace. One thing that would be GREAT to Google would be bible verses that help to ease anxiety!

May you and your precious little one thrive and find space to be calm, quietly joyful, and thankful for all your many blessings.

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