I have been seeing a therapist for almost 2 years now (mostly every 2 weeks). I just still don’t like going to therapy! I just don’t like talking about my problems to someone I don’t know (like I don’t know anything about her). And I feel like she is judging me even though I know she’s not supposed to be.
I don’t know if it just isn’t a good fit with her or if I’m not a therapy person. I have only ever seen one other therapist before when I was a teenager and I didn’t like her either. I have social anxiety and am usually pretty quiet. I’m not much of a talker. I also don’t feel like I have learned much from her. I feel like she’s mostly does talk therapy instead of CBT which I feel like might be more helpful.
Has anyone else felt this way about a therapist or therapy in general? I’m jealous of the people who like going to therapy! I don’t know if it’s time to move on. I have to keep going to therapy to make my psychiatrist happy.
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kittenkisses91
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Therapy is one of the best ways to improve your mental health—but it’s not always easy. You can’t expect to have a breakthrough every time you walk through the door, but you can expect therapy to lead to positive results over time.
One of the most important factors in therapy is your relationship with the therapist. If something’s off in that relationship, it can be hard to make progress.
When is it time to find a new therapist?
Therapy can bring up a lot of really uncomfortable feelings. Sometimes you can project those feelings onto your therapist—aren’t they supposed to be making you feel better?
It’s not always that simple. Sometimes things get harder before they get easier. Sometimes we get angry at people who tell us things we need to hear.
If you feel stuck with your therapist, the first thing to do is let them know. Therapists are trained in overcoming obstacles like this. They’ve worked with difficult clients before, so you won’t be the first to express concerns. A good therapist won’t take it personally. Sometimes working through your feelings about your therapist can help uncover an issue you needed to talk about.
If you’ve given it your best and it’s still not working out, there’s nothing wrong with looking for a new therapist. But don’t give up on therapy completely! Finding the right therapist is a little like dating. You wouldn’t go on one bad date and give up on dating, would you? So, why try just one therapist and give up on therapy? Just like with other relationships, it takes time to find the right person.
Check out our article on what to look for in a therapist for more information.
Thanks! I know therapy isn’t always supposed to be easy. I liked your article!
Hello,
Here's my take on it. Only you can answer the question of whether it's time to move on or not.
You need to be comfortable with all aspects of your therapy (this includes your therapist). It mighy make your psychiatrist happy, but does it make you happy? What matters is that you are benefiting from it.
Thanks for your response. I think I’ll keep trying with my current therapist. I just don’t want to change and find that my new one is worse than my old one! It’s not easy finding therapists taking new patients.
You're welcome. I know what you mean about wanting to stay with the one you have for fear of the next one being worse! Is this person helping, though? That's the key. There's no sense in continuing just to please others (in this case, your psychiatrist). Remember, you're the patient. Doctors can be stubborn. While they say they have our best interests at heart, they can also overwhelm us. You just need to be assertive (says a young woman who finds it hard to be assertive🤔).
Hmm this is a really good question. Sounds like you have really good self awareness of the "ehh" of the relationship. Some people don't even know what they like and that's another obstacle to climb. Changing therapists is a risk just like anything else in life, however I would hate for you to switch next year and then be like why didn't I do this sooner? Although that's not such a bad thing either, you can learn something form everyone. However, let her know that you feel like you have been seeing her for a while and you don't like the current relationship. She should guide you in a gentle manner to lay out the pros and cons of staying vs leaving . If she doesn't and takes it personally I think its time to switch. Also tell her that you think cbt models work better for you> You are the patient, after all, you for sure have every right to ask her to use a therapy model that fits with you. If she isn't so comfortable with cbt ask around for someone who is.
It’s not easy! She wants to talk about stuff I don’t want to talk about! It’s easier to ignore when I stuff it down into myself and don’t think about my problems.
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