Got my heart broken - just another stone i carry

[Against_the_current]

I'm gonna survive it, i know. I am surviving pandemic, global crisis, dad having a baby from another woman, drinking and having anger issues mom, teenage sis i have to take care of, online university, the only friend i have is at a mental hospital, fear of grandparents getting sick and too old, constant anxiety and depression. I needed some support. And some guy online was supporting me but he was constantly hitting up on me and at the end i fell. Then he removed me from followers out of nowhere. I survived it quietly. One day i wrote a comment about him and about online friends leaving. The comment went viral and some guy messaged me to tell me his story. I was kind and understanding and he acted like he fell in love with me. We was really flirting really hard with me from the first day but when i told him i can't focus in class because i'm thinking about him, he got scared and thought i'm crazy.

And everyone is telling me it's not worth it to worry about this and that i'm gonna get better but why did i have to go through this?! Why is it happening?! Something normal?! Yes, i will survive but i'm going through hell and nobody cares. Yes, i will survive but some people won't. And i hate hearing "boys are like that". Even my psychologist told it. Why is this that way?! Why does society function in that way?! I don't want to be a human. I don't like this way of existence. I don't like the "men emotion less and doing everyone and women crazy". That's not right. I can't believe evolution made this. I can't believe biology is so cruel. And If It's God, i don't want to believe God is so cruel. I don't want to believe the Universe is testing me like that. I can't accept this world being this way.

And yet i will log in my next lesson and nobody is gonna see i'm broken behind the muted screen. And i will pill all my strenght to make my sister food because nobody else is gonna take care of her.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. Please stay strong 💪 we all are here to support you and I know this tough phase will also pass. just be brave and fight your obstacles. Take care!!

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thank you

[Hidden]

I hear your frustration. I'm not sure what else to say. It's like I'm searching for the perfect words to say to you, and I am very lost and messed up in my own life. I wish I could help everyone on this site. Life can be a little too rough sometimes. 💖

[HoldingonLou]

Oh Glonk. You are a mighty warrior. So much chaos all around and you stand firm amongst it all. Taking care of your sister and yourself. I admire your strength and courage. The world or this universe of such is spinning with constant chaos. I have faith in God. I know He does not want his people to suffer amongst the chaos. God is there for anyone who calls out to him. I'm sorry to be preachy but it is my faith. I would be happy to share more about my faith if you are interested. I pray often because I know I need it.

You may feel no one cares but many do care. I'm sure your parents care about what you are going through but they are probably caught up in their own issues to express it. Your sister would probably be lost without you. Soon this crazy pandemic will be over but another round of chaos will come. That is the world and it is not gonna change. I will pray for you. Blessings.

[lolanell]

Oh, please know it is healthy to question all that comes our way…if you are young enjoy meeting more than one male …believe it or not evolution programmed males to look for more than one mate…it’s called survival of the fittest…and enjoy the journey of life..even the twists and turns..and trust in the process and discover little joys on your journey.

[cbgrace1980]

I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Thank you for sharing with us about your struggles. You are not alone. I don't believe that God is cruel. I believe that He gives us good things, but that He's also there with the bad things come our way. I want you to know that your situation is not permanent: things will improve for you soon. Hang in there, and feel free to vent anytime. We are here for you.