He left me because of my depression..... - Anxiety and Depre...

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He left me because of my depression... I’m 20 and he is 27

Sarahmizuhara profile image
10 Replies

Hello I’m new here. I really don’t know how to start this but I’m really confused, angry and heartbroken. I’ve been suffering from anxiety and depression for almost 7 years and I never really got the mental help I needed because nobody took me serious. My anxiety and depression is caused by bullying and abandonment from family and friends. Last year I met this guy that I started to fall in love with and we bullied a relationship and we got married this year. He knew about my depression and anxiety he told me that he could handle it no matter what and he never would leave me because everyone deserved to be loved and he loved me so much. By the way I’m Suicidal as well. We got married in September 2017 and out of nowhere he divorced me November 2017. He made fun of my depression and that it was to much for him to handle and the fact that he didn’t care about how I felt and about my feelings . His family was walking around town and making fun of how stupid, ugly and crazy I was. He is bringing me down and didn’t even give me a chance to change myself and actually seek real help. He wants to stay friends but how? How can I let someone that emotional abused and embarrassed me allow into my life again as a friend?? I don’t know what to do? I really feel like I should just kill myself. But I also want to forget about him and ignore him. I can’t believe someone you truly loved can treat you like this? I was there for him 24/7 supported him and gave him all my love. I really need your help guys and by the way I’m Pregnant as well and he wants me to get an abortion & if I keep the baby he wants to cut all the contact with me and he doesn’t want to see the child, he is saying that it’s gonna be hard for me only and I am destroyed my own life by keeping the baby and not his. I’m just really lost in life.

By the way I’m Sorry my English isn’t that great since it’s not my first language.

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Sarahmizuhara profile image
Sarahmizuhara
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10 Replies
iromoomori profile image
iromoomori

You've been through a lot, you're very strong, don't doubt yourself. Right now you're going through tough times. Don't let someone take control of your life, do what you feel is right. What he did to you is terrible, and no one deserves what you endured. Ask yourself if you want to continue a relationship, even if just friends with him. Do you think he has changed? Has he apologized? If you can, reach out to somebody. Possibly a professional. Sharing this with others can definitely help you. Sometimes people feel lost in life, there is never really a time where you might feel satisfied, but your determination to get better can help you. I truly admire your effort to get support, I hope I was able to lead you in a better direction. Stay strong! If you ever need anything, please feel welcome to reach out to me. I believe in you!

Sarahmizuhara profile image
Sarahmizuhara in reply toiromoomori

Hi❤️ I never apologize to me but what do I expect from someone that do makes fun of my depression? Nothing right? But it’s ok I just need to keep my head up right and get some help before it’s too late :), thank you so much for your text it really made me smile :).

Hey Sarah, I’m so sorry to hear this. I know that all of this is extremely difficulty and I feel that there’s not much I can say because me, personally not being in the exact situation, not knowing how it feels exactly but I would just wanna say that that feeling when thinking someone is there for you through everything no matter what but just suddenly they left..yeah I can honestly relate to this honestly. I’m 20 as well, and for me personally, tons of people I had knew through the years till now , recently had left me, simply due to the fact they don’t want anything to do with someone dealing with an eating disorder, is just an horrible feeling(won’t get into much of it but yeah ..) and like you, I had suffer from depression when i was an child for a brief period and I was so close from losing hope literally crying so hard but I didn’t give in. And I know that you can make it out of this battle! I know it’s extremely tough at this moment but reminding you that you will get stronger, each day forward you will build. All times time, little by little. To me, I am recently just being able to be open up about my past experience with my battles I receiving the help that I know I must find, still working on it but truthfully, finding that right person to talk to about something like these battle(s) we are facing is difficult in the beginning but eventually trust will form, realizing who will not judge and importantly of all, to who would LISTEN is most important. we are both 20 years old and we are still young. But honestly, like you and I, both of us WILL get through our battle(s) that we are currently facing. And about that guy, I know that falling in love is hard to let go of that person, but at the end of the day, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT MATTERS MOST! You don’t deserve someone who treats you like that. ( in my situation for instance, I consistently have to deal with the friends who consistently bring up negativity, to labeling myself to words (such as quiet) to which sadly I had lived up to that label and I’m sick of it. - to which this eventually brings me way down...where I realize that it is this attitude towards things that is preventing me from moving forward and to soon defeating this eating disorder of mine and my social anxiety as well tbh..) I guess what I’m trying to say is that YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! You deserve to have the right people in your life that loves and helps you through every battle you may be dealing with.

We shouldn’t allow these people who are bringing us down, preventing us from moving forward in our lives stop us from overcoming our battle(s)! Just keep staying strong darling please! I know everything seems tough at this moment but all will be well. All I can say is that ALL TAKES TIME. TRUST ME. - Please take care darling. I know you are strong. You may not feel like it time to time but YOU ARE! if you ever need anyone at times, I’m here if you ever need someone. ( I hope that I helped a little and made kind of sense of what I’m trying to say...not good at putting my words together to what I aim to say tbh but anyways..)

Stay strong darling and praying that all will work through this all. Xxx

Sarahmizuhara profile image
Sarahmizuhara in reply to

Hey❤️ I’m so sorry what you’re going through honey. And I know for sure we can definitely beat this and win the battle and live like normal people again :). I hope you are ok and you can always reach or text me if you wanna talk that’s what we are here for right?^^ thank you❤️

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Sarahmizuhara, my advice is to run as far as you can from him as well as his family. It sounds like his family may have influenced him regarding the divorce. I am so sorry you have been emotionally abused. No one deserves that. As for him being a friend, I don't think you would want him as a part of your life. You won't be able to move on, he would always be interfering with your life.

As for the baby, yes it would be very difficult to raise the baby on your own and he knows that. Again it sounds like he is not willing to pay child support for the next 18 years. Little does he know that he would be responsible for that child. The courts would demand that. Of course the decision is always yours to make. You know what is best to do for yourself. You may feel blindsided by what he did to you right now and I'm glad you reached out to the forum.

I know it's hard to think a little down the road in time right now, but know that things have a way of working out for the best. Stay positive, stay strong and Believe. Believe that there is a life of happiness waiting for you with a man who would really love you like you deserve to be loved. I hope you will be okay right now, it will be a little rough for you. We will be here to support and comfort you as well as others who may share your story. Take care of yourself xx

Sarahmizuhara profile image
Sarahmizuhara in reply toAgora1

Thanks for your advice :). I kinda realized things now and I admit I feel blind when he talks to me but all I gotta do is to delete and block him out of my life

Cherbear811 profile image
Cherbear811

You don't need him girlfriend, believe me. There's a guy out there who's going to end up very happy because he left!! Take care of yourself

Sarahmizuhara profile image
Sarahmizuhara in reply toCherbear811

Thank you❤️

Clarebear86 profile image
Clarebear86

It’s so strange to think that I nearly found myself in the exact same situation you are describing. My husband thought I was depressed and wanted me to go to the doctors. I refused and kept fighting the fact and idea that I could be depressed, in fear I would end up like my mum. I later learn’t that he cheated on me, it was the beginning of the final tumble into the dark hole of despair. For me I just think it’s a matter of time until he does leave, because he has chosen to spend nights away here and there since. But I have to stay strong. There are plenty of people in this world who get through in similar predicaments and though I know it may seem as though your world is ending. You have so much to live for growing inside you. Yes it may be hard, but don’t let someone else rule and decide your life, if they aren’t willing to be part of it.

Sarahmizuhara profile image
Sarahmizuhara in reply toClarebear86

Thank you❤️ I hope everything is going well for you too. Stay strong as well

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