As an “introvert” not only do I get worn out easily of social interactions but i’m also very closed off to most people. When I do choose to let someone in it’s most likely because I don’t have a choice or I have made that choice because they feel like home. Then I go off and cater to this person and show them my love, loyalty, and rare instances, affection. I’ve let someone in so easily and almost became an extrovert with this particular person. I laughed nonstop with this person until my neighbors had to bang on the walls for me to shut up. We told each other we loved one another. I fed him, I listened to his traumas, and I accepted him for who he was and his past. I wanted to learn everything I could about this man to truly love him right.
Long story short, it didn’t work out and I came to realize the illusion of who he was and how he portrayed himself was nothing but a facade. The love is still there but the little self love and respect I have for myself won’t let me back into his heart. I have no choice but to move on and all that’s left of me is the bitterness of letting this person into my home, into my arms, into my little world for him to not choose me.