Split personality? I have a question

[artisticcatowner]

Hey guys I’ve a Question. Today I experienced 2 completely different versions of me within 2 hours. I want to know if any one else has experienced this-if this is common-or if this is part of DID(I was told I might have it by my therapist).

#1: I had the sense I would be accepted no matter what, I began talking with a guy before class started. I talked to him first. I asked him a question. I felt cool and collected the whole time. I only talked sensibly, and I did not talk much. Kept trying to be as cool as possible and gearing my behaviors based on him and what I thought he might feel comfortable with. I sensed a connection between me and him. Then in class, everybody started talking unpredictably and confident. I tried talking to the person next to me the same way I talked to that guy-but then she looked at other people in the class and I realized I could not predict her. I realized I created an environment where I can not speak confidently or happily. I was stuck in a role that I created myself in. I felt trapped within my walls and I knew that that class would be a disaster from day one

#2: Thankfully that was the wrong class anyways lol. On the way to the right one-I realized the corner I put myself in. I reframed my head as much as I could-and walked into the right class with confidence. Kept my head up, looked at the teacher in the eyes, kept a poker face. I relaxed a little later on. Made only formal conversation with the people sitting next to me. Even made some comments in the class. Left class smiling and happy. I knew I would never be able to do any of that in the other class I just left.

I’m describing an issue that I think has very deep meaning and I’m just barely touching the surface. Sometimes I frame myself into a picture-but that creates no room for me to leave that picture.

I implement attachments as a way to cope with danger, but when the attachments change, I am left vulnerable. But I feel like when I change mindsets and make myself more confident, I am a different person-I also know that the people that I am confident around will rarely ever see my unconfident side. There are 2 versions of me and only 1 part the outside world can see.

I know this is a very complex situation. Thank you for taking the time to read through this if you have.

[artisticcatowner]

Or I need to keep all this information to myself-and just decompress when I get home and be alone for a while. Lol. Maybe thats how people usually function and I’m learning how to do it

[Hidden]

To me, in my opinion, you are trying to mirror other people's demeanor in order to feel accepted. You also seem to be self-aware of what does not work and try to compensate by staying low-key. I don't think you are experiencing split personalities per se. I think you are doing what a lot of people do in a new environment or situation. By changing your mind-set to being confident is your way of trying to cope. This is nothing bad. It seems that you are trying to find your place in this world and that is good. What do you think? I may be totally wrong...

P.S. I'm not by any means a therapist or a mental health professional.

[artisticcatowner in reply to Hidden]

Sounds right lol

[Hidden in reply to artisticcatowner]

I'm glad. BTW, I'm almost 50 and still trying to find my place in this world...LOL Hopefully you will find your place sooner than me. 😜

[artisticcatowner in reply to Hidden]

LOL

[Isinatra]

It’s like being a chameleon. Changing behavior to suit your environment. And as you said to keep you safe. Look for things to boost your confidence. They don’t have to be big things. Lots of little ones add up quickly. Look around and watch others. Observe what they do and pick and choose what you might be interested in. Not because they’re doing it. It’s ok to be unique. Others notice that. Unless you don’t want to be noticed….🍀

[artisticcatowner in reply to Isinatra]

Ok thank you

[QuiltLady]

I'm like that all the time. Most of the time in new environments I keep to myself, other times I feel confident and more outgoing. It depends a lot on who is around. If I feel there is anyone there (real or imaginary) who might be critical of me, I clam up. The human mind is hard to figure out. Just try to be yourself, be kind to yourself, don't worry about what people think and don't try to please people. I'm still trying to learn these myself, lol. Just remember that most people feel the same way and have their own issues. I try to remind myself to be kind to people because most are going through their own stuff.

[artisticcatowner in reply to QuiltLady]

Ok ahaha!!