❤‍🩹Toxic relationship❤‍🩹: I just... - Anxiety and Depre...

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❤‍🩹Toxic relationship❤‍🩹

coolkitty1934 profile image

I just found out why my friend wasnt talking with me- she was in a toxic relationship and the jerk of a guy got mad when she talked with anybody but him.she finally talked to me again saying she left the relationship but now she is saying she wants to go back and im scared she might actually go back! the picture is what i said to her but i dont know if its enough and im so scared of losing her again to that toxic relationship

17 Replies

You can’t make her not go back. All you can do is be supportive and be there when she needs you. Never make her feel bad for going back. She’s been broken down by this guy. And until she comes to the realization that he is bad and wants to be done with him. Nothing will change.

coolkitty1934 profile image
coolkitty1934 in reply to

thanks for the advice i def wont make the mistake of scolding her for going back because i do understand that that jerk has so much control over her so its his fault not her

She'll do what she wants to do and to avoid getting hurt again I might distance myself. Once toxic always toxic unless she breaks the cycle.

but i dont have the resolve or the heart to do that to her..

I understand. Been there. It's certainly your choice however be prepared for what may come, being hurt and losing her, again. You'll be doing her a service and remember you'll be part of that toxic relationship.

i understand that i could get hurt but she is my friend so i wont abandon her i guess all that anime got to my head XD

besides she has already told me how she is scared i will leave her just like everyone else so just abandoning her is too cruel

It's your call however I'd ask her why she's going back if she's scared? A relationship shouldn't be scary. Have a heart to heart.

well its just a lot of people have left her for different reasons and she is just scared that im the same that i will leave her and she will be alone again that is a reason why she wants to go back

To toxic relationship? I'd have a friend heart to heart. She has you. A Toxic relationship is not a place to be and it starts a consistency of being in those relationships. Not good. Being afraid of being alone is not a reason to go back to someone who's toxic and the best thing you can do is educate her. She does not need this relationship to be whole..it's going to hurt her and I don't think you want to see that happen. Been there done that. However you're an adult and you should do what your gut tells you to. I'm not saying either way I'm just giving input from 58 years of wisdom . I have a spa appt and will be glad to chat anytime. 👍❤️

Best wishes ❤️🌛

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth in reply to Luna_Child

I feel like once they start cutting off outside communication it is domestic abuse. Toxic is too mild. Who know what else goes on but when it gets violent I think it is domestic terrorism. The average 7 times before someone in an abusive relationship leaves. This isn't just breaking the cycle it is escape. I do agree that distance is healthy.

Luna_Child profile image
Luna_Child in reply to Blueruth

I agree

You can lay the seed. Let her know there are places she can go to get help. Simply leaving doesn't work if she is dependent on him financially. The next worst step is to have children thinking that will "make things better". Then walking away is exponentially harder.

For you I agree keep your distance while let her know you are available when she takes steps to leave (if you are willing). The key is to be there for her when she does take steps to leave. It doesn't hurt to have a list of resources handy. This is not easy but you can't give the impression of accepting the relationship either.

I had this exact same scenario happen to me. In her case she also had local police and an uncle lawyer taking his side. Her sister wasn't knowledgeable about domestic abuse either. She ended up staying and now her kids are dealing with the emotional baggage. It is hard to fight all that opposition.

How are you

coolkitty1934 profile image
coolkitty1934 in reply to

well they stopped contacting me again..

I also just left a toxic 13year relationship

coolkitty1934 profile image
coolkitty1934 in reply to

nice!you were brave to leave the relationship i know its not easy

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