Hey everyone! Brian here! I've got a question and I've been curious about some opinions on it for a while....
Is it a bad thing to be a good guy?
I ask because it seems like everything I see either here online (not necessarily on this site) and in real life, in the media and the like, that bad boys are celebrated and made to look like being one is so cool. I feel like being a good guy is often downplayed or viewed as being weak or, somehow, boring. I try to be a good guy and at this point in my life I'm not gonna change horses in mid-stream. But, I have to wonder, is it worth it? Do nice guys really finish last?
A friend,
Brian
Written by
bridder01
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I'm one of the good guys too Brian and I'd much rather go to bed each night knowing that and everyone think I'm weak than I would go to bed being a piece of crap but people thinking I'm cool
I agree- Personally, "bad boys" like ones who rob banks or do something to deceive people are a turn off to me. Interestingly enough a public survey was taken recently, and trustworthiness was something that people valued most, so Brian you rock with the "in" crowd- but you always do anyway!!!! How are you feeling?
They are the best of them all but so hard to be on their list! I dream about a great really warm good guy. I don’t see it as weak. I see it a the most powerful! When someone has the courage not to judge but listen - wow! When someone has the guts to stand tall or forgive - wooow! Good people are the best seed for that world. I truly love and appreciate all kind of kindness and good.
You are amazing Brian! I love to be reading your posts! You always treat us so good!
You deserve so much from this world and from all the people that ever passed through your life.
Thanks Blossom! You deserve it just as much as I! Stay positive!
Sometimes I think a woman loves the good side of bad guys. I have a few bad boys in my life but I find that the wiser I become, the more I love their sweet side. One of them is my son and I realize that because of his job he has to have that type of persona. I always try to bring him back down to earth on his days off cause that kind loving side of him is the one I always want to hang out with. As a matter of fact. I’m not so sure all bad boys want to be bad boys at all.
I love this question and always jump to say I lovvvve good guys and hate jerks. But you just gotta be strong, stand up for yourself and not be a pushover. You are certainly NOT that!!! Good guys who stand strong for their women and families are the heroes of this world. Bad boys tend to be insecure cowards who don’t wanna grow up. You Brian, are at the top of the heap. You’re self-aware, yet humble, open-hearted, honest, mature, interesting, playful, generous with your love and friendship, tough as nails, sweet, giving, joyous, fun, all any woman or friend could ever dream of.
So do you sis, I love all that you say. When words come from the heart and a place of honesty, not taking themselves too seriously and wanting to ultimately uplift all involved, true communication is born. And it goes beyond words, even here. I can FEEL your spirit just like you can feel mine. The reaching out is such a human impulse, to be with others who “get” it. What a miracle we can gather here. Brian always brings the fun and inspiration.🎼 🕺🏼💃🏼⛩🕺🏼💃🏼🎮 p.s. bad boys WISH they could be as great as good guys but they never will because they’re “too cool” to commit themselves to something and sacrifice their ego for something bigger and better.
I absolutely feel your spirit & your words always make me cry. This site means so much to me & is really forcing me to grow to become a woman that is strong enough to NOT repeat my mistakes. I want a husband that treats me with love & respect. I want a FAMILY, but right now I want to become the best woman I can possibly be.
What you think about, you become. So envision that good man, he will materialize. Envision a balanced relationship, where the best you can be realized and flourish and SUPPORT that man with tons of respect, appreciation, admiration and buckets and truck loads of love. We are different creatures men and women. Bad boys don’t serve us, they only serve themselves. We are nurturers, men are protectors, at heart. Trust your gut and see the red flags, don’t ignore them. Bad boys have no place in a woman’s life unless she wants to play with fire and waste her precious time.
You are an example of what a good man looks like Brian. We can all take notes. You’ve survived being a prisoner of fear, as we all have, and have crawled out of the cave and into the light. Takes guts. Your armor shines and shimmers. “You’re my knight in shimmering armor. You shimmer and you glow.” — Gilbert Grape’s mama says in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Excellent film centered around a depressed figure trying to figure life out and fly on his own. Highly recommend it.
Good guys are definitely the best.
Good guys end up meeting good people and make good friends.
Bad guys aren't even guys. They are boys. And yes. Being the good guy is worth it.
Went for the bad boy, who I saw little goodness in him, which is the part I was attracted to. I thought he was "good" because of me and it made me special. I didn't want to necessarily change him. I just wanted to be his reason for the kindness and sweetness in him. I thought I was the reason it was brought out more. (What an idiot I was).
Now I am with a good man, a silly goofball, who makes my day and makes me feel special even though I don't agree with it. And he changed me for better. I am learning to love myself, even though I don't want to love myself. And he shows me by example through kindness to others and himself. His morality and ethics is what attracts me even more. He is such a kind man that I know for sure I can see a future with.
Yeah, bad girls just don't appeal to me at all. Especially ones with rage issues. I can live without that. I would just like to meet someone who likes me for me.
The way you put that request out into the ether Brian, your wish shall be granted. She’s on her way. She’s out there. She deserves you and you her. Now to the part about paths crossing...
Loving yourself may not be the goal. Having respect for yourself because you stand for something, you have values you uphold, you have a man to love and live for, a life you are proud of, this will help you build a foundation. Like Kayla said, concentrate more on being the right woman than on finding the right man. The first naturally leads to the next. Goof balls make the best partners cuz you really gotta laugh through life or you’ll just crumble. So glad you found your goofball Rainne!!
I am one of the good people too and being able to face myself in the mirror is much more important to me than being one of the idiots. We have integrity and values and I would not want want to trash others no matter what benefit I might gain from it. x
It’s hard to understand exactly why women like bad boys to begin with. It’s the mystique for me, personally. We want them to be nice to US. We want them to be better. I think it’s just a matter of growing up. You think people will eventually become good people. I don’t actually want someone that beats me or hurts me. I just liked the adrenaline rush I got from the guy that I was with. I think every girl dreams of being treated like a princess. Having a good man to hold her during the hard times & promises to take care of her. At least I do. I’m sure you will find the right woman who sees that in you, Brian. And every other guy who has commented. The right woman will know you’re the right man & everything will be okay. Maybe I’m just into fairytales, that’s what my ex used to say... but I firmly believe in real, true love. I always will.
You’re welcome! Just kept thinking about the question! It’s definitely a good question! I like those type of questions that you carry with you for the rest of your day!
After having made the mistake of falling for bad boys in the past, I can assure you that their charm wears off quickly, but the quiet decency of a good man never does. Stay nice.....please. This world needs more guys like you.....
I used to fall for bad boys because I grew up screwed up & brought that into adulthood. I didn't feel worthy of a "good guy" & shucked it off as, "Good guys are boring". Choosing a badass for a partner only keeps you down with no real opportunity to grow. Your self-esteem suffers, you are too busy obsessing about things like, "Well, now that I've got him...what the hell am I gonna DO with him?!"
You don't have the energy to change your life. The badass keeps you way too busy guessing. Bad boys are actually suffering a LOT! They are ego-driven with anger and/or rage issues. You can't cure them, though.
When I finally found myself single & sober I finally took the time to watch for flags & behaviors that are detrimental to a relationship.
The bad boys are celebrated in the "media" but only in part of it like the sensationalized part. You can celebrate being who you are and being able to sleep at night. They will always have to be paranoid.
I think the bad guys are usually attention seekers and that’s why they’ll have loud ‘bad’ behaviour meanwhile the good ones are kind and helpful and just ‘good’ I suppose they do what they do without seeking attention so it doesn’t really get the attention. Also with media people love to see bad things to make themselves feel better lol ...
nobody really wants anyone bad do they? Who goes to bed thinking oooh I cannot wait to find a complete tool to fall in love with hehe x
Not really an answer to your question, but more of an anecdote. I played out in a band for several years and I was the "clean cut" guy and the other members played the "bad boy rocker" image. Women were hitting on them and I was pretty much invisible. That was okay because I was in it for the enjoyment of playing.
One time the bass player was dating a stripper and she brought all her stripper friends to the bar. Not judging them but they didn't fit in at this club. The girlfriend got mad at the bass player and got on stage and was yelling at him while he was playing. I was glad I wasn't him. The strippers also charged the drinks to the band so it was like the Blues Brothers movie where we ended up owing instead of getting paid. Fortunately the owner sympathized and wrote off most of it so we ended up getting paid something. There was always drama between the other members and the women that would show up and sometimes a women would be "shared". Again, not judging, but it just wasn't me. I was fortunate to have a lot of friends come up to see us and I hung with them between sets and after we played.
The "bad boys" in the band were happy when playing but i can't say they were when we had practices and such. I think their lifestyle had a downside to it too. Just be yourself Brian. You sound genuine and I think that is refreshing and I think the kind of woman you will will like will appreciate it.
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You ever feel like you just try to hard?
Some advice or just somebody to listen would be helpful...
Just a question in mind lol
