Not a good person and rubbish.

I am running out of ideas to be happy because of feeling nervous to do customer service. I am not proud of myself because of being lame at everything. It upsets me to think that another person would not be in the same mess as me over a quandary they got into. When it comes to being stressed, I do get in quandary which would mean regretting myself. It's my fault I don't understand reality and falter on most abilities.

[hypercat54]

John I have suffered from depression for many years and it is very tough trying to earn a living without coming off as a 'thicko', so I understand exactly what you are saying and what you are contending with.

The thing to remember is though it is not your fault any more than it was mine, you wouldn't think the same way if it was a physical illness would you?

Learning new tasks is a great self esteem booster but you have to be prepared to work even harder than most but it is doable. Your employer wouldn't have offered you the job if they thought you couldn't do it would they? They have faith in you so have some in yourself. If I could do it so can you.

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

I'll nod to that

[PillsROG]

Hey John, I'm not super great at these so bear with me. I too have a lot of self doubt in my own abilities at work. I remember when I started at my Customer Service Role over the phone, having similar anxieties. I didn't believe I knew enough to adequately provide customer service. I ended having a lot of individuals get very angry at me and want to talk to my supervisor.

I'm not going to tell you it gets easier as time goes on as it is human nature for people to be self centered, but when you do get those customers come along that go out of their way to say thank you, or to ask how you are doing, it makes it so much more worth it.

Also remember, that in any work environment, the manager/supervisor/leads are going to have their favorites that they let get away with anything shy of murder. This is very unfair and the unfairness can be overpowering. If you can remember that you can't be everyone's friend, that workplace fairness does not exist, and that your merits a lot of the time will go unnoticed, you can get past something that took me nearly 11 years of my life to finally challenge and move past.

I can promise that you do develop a thicker skin so the edge of the anxiety, frustration, and stress isn't so overpowering, but for those of us who have to force ourselves out of bed and just push forward through it all............it really never fully goes away.

My hat is of to you as I personally can't do in person customer service due to a social anxiety disorder I struggle with. I did work graveyards at a grocery store only having to associate one one one with an individual coming in in the wee hours of the morning, but never into a high stress predicament like you face.

Now some tough love as my therapist calls it............ Don't label yourself as self labeling is Hogwash as she has put it to me. You are NOT rubbish. From your concerns I have read, I don't think you are a Bad person. We are our own worst critics and are overly hard on ourselves. We tend to listen to others and don't challenge those thoughts.

My Therapist gave me the following on a card I carry around in my phone's case for moments like this that you are facing. Perhaps engaging in either mental, written, or verbal self talk may help you too:

Challenge Your Beliefs ABC's

Adversity: The Test (What lead you to your belief)

Belief: Challenge it (What is the belief, and can you disprove it)

Consequences: Feelings (Would letting go of this Belief be worse for you than continuing to be trapped by it)

Dispute: (What evidence do you have to prove that this Belief is true about yourself or how you feel? If you can't, let go of the belief for your sake)

Energize: Obtain truth and Peace (If you are able to prove that the belief is false, cast off the belief, and replace it with something positive)

I really hope John that this may help you in the upcoming days ahead. Don't look at the huge picture ahead, but rather focus on Today. If that is too much, just focus on the next hour. If even the next hour seems too much, then take it minute by minute. I promise you that you have great worth in you and that it is just tapping into that potential. It isn't easy though. I'm at year 10 now of working through this myself and still have a long way to go, but when I look back at where I was at compared to where I am today, there is a huge that I have allowed in myself to be where I am today.

Good Luck there and don't lose faith in yourself!

[Hidden in reply to PillsROG]

I can only nod to your reply

[Roxylox]

I can understand the pain of that. I wonder if you would work better in a job where you are out of the public eye.I always found I could work better without having someones eyes on me .

Maybe my advice is not the best, but I just know I would have felt just as anxious in your situation.

[Hidden in reply to Roxylox]

Nods

[Roxylox in reply to Hidden]

I meant I find I am happier working in the background, perhaps you would be too

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

Hey Johnblue. Customer Service is one of the toughest jobs out there. Period. I would be lousy at it. So please cut yourself some slack. I managed a department of 20 people for 22 years and that was easier than what you’re doing, in my opinion……

[Rafiki11]

It is okay to feel nervous about your new job. It means you want to do a good job. I admire that.

[Shezza1]

I'm the same my 1st job I'm behind closed doors and my 2nd job is with the public. My stomach does somersaults. I feel like I cant breathe. I go there as numb as I can be. If someone talks to me I cant get my words out I'm all fingers and thumbs. To get me through it I try and listen to some music and concentrate on that sing the words in my head