I'm just at the end of my tether.

Hi everyone, I had to write to you all for a bit of support and comfort as today especially has been an incredibly difficult one from the very onset of being woken by the mobile ringing me. it literally frightened me to death as me and my partner were both asleep. The council housing association rang me to inform me that since moving into my disabled bungalow and given an allocated disabled parking bay directly outside my bungalow door that other elderly residents also felt they had equal rights also to park their vehicles outside their homes also creating problems for me with the council as they told me I had to contact my GP and arrange occupational health to come out and do an assessment on me so then I can apply for a disabled blue badge to grant the council authority to say to other residents that I have special needs and disabilities and it stops anyone complaining or attempting to say to the council that I am being given priority parking when they all have to fight for a first come first serve basis on getting the ideal parking spot near their bungalows. an extremely stressful and emotional day. I have had to write a letter to my GP in the hope she can supply me with enough medical history about my health and my need to have the use of my vehicle access at all times and to help me get to the appropriate County Council department in dealing with mobility issues. The housing association already know in detail of the deep depression and anxiety I have both with consultation and confrontation and the deep impact it has on my ability to cope if questioned and having to go through all the red tape to get myself seen by the correct people and having this whole situation dealt with once and for all. I claim PIP at eh lower rate and did not qualify at the time for the mobility side only receiving 4 points out of a possible 12. I now walk aided with a walking stick supported with compression leg socks and heel braces and also have orthopaedic insoles to cushion my feet. Type 2 diabetes nerve damage has destroyed my feet ability to feel my toes and my arches and the blade of my foot resulting in me falling if going down steps. I literally have no sensation of my feet having touched the floor so my body collapses upon its own weight. I found this to my own peril have tripped in the kitchen over my little dog and slamming into the washing machine giving myself a concussion and damaging the washing machine, my partner was unable to pick my bodyweight back up so it took a little time for me to right myself on my own and get into bed with a few bumps and bruises and a possible fractured hip. My GP saw me 3 days later, suspected a hairline fracture of my hip and total bed rest for 2 weeks. This is the situation I have now with walking, I take a monumental risk of falling or tripping as I cannot counteract when my feet and legs simply will not function as normal. the result for me is I have had little choice but to completely cut all activities placing me at risk of collapse and cannot go anywhere alone in case I do fall or trip. I am wondering if PIP has an emailing service where you can inform them of a deteriorating condition and new symptoms since they examined me in my home 3 years ago now. It does say if any of your conditions worsen to contact them and put them in the clear but I do not wish to inflame anything placing myself at unease and risk of making myself worse by the stress it will cause me to do so. plus I have also heard that no matter what your GP says or does for you, the PIP examiners all have the rights and capabilities to say whether you are disabled or not or indeed if you suffer from any medical issues. it is up to them and them only and they can use their discretion in this way to adjudicate your case with them. in other words you can be blind with no legs at all but if they say you can work then you have to work. the prospect terrifies me as it got quite confrontational with the examiner when he visited my home the last time evoking me into a total emotional breakdown. I was in floods of tears trembling and jibbering and ended up not speaking to him and he then threatened me saying he would stop the claim and leave my bungalow if I did not answer his questions, it was more of an interrogation, not an examination. he did not want to listen to reason mocking me making me look a total fool in front of my partner. Suffering from bipolar and suicidal tendencies and self-harm, I had to endure him asking me why I choose to cut and injure myself and I told the examiner the feeling of the wound is far better for me to deal with than all the pain every day I have in my head just dealing with my existence, I have no family or friends and the only person I trust is my partner and my 2 dogs which is my life in a nutshell. he had no way of knowing how he made me feel or what he was subjecting me to and he made me feel so bad about myself I told him to get out of my bungalow before I threw him out. Needless to say, PIP wrote to me a few weeks later saying I now qualified at the lower rate and would be in receipt of this now. So the big question is to contact them and update them with all my new symptoms or not as they tend not to believe you anyway. I hope the GP can in some way help me out especially if it helps me get help parking my vehicle outside my bungalow or risk the council blanket banning all residents from parking their vehicles near these bungalows. I am just sick some people get all the fringe benefits the state can provide then there are people like me who desperately need support and help and never seem to claim a thing. I just feel no one seems to care or not how poorly I am becoming with my primary health and wellbeing. I'm sorry for the long drawn out post but I just had to vent and share this frustration with some of you. I hope you cope better than I do? take care stay safe x

[Hidden]

Hi. I am so truly sorry that this is all the BS you have to deal with being the way you are. I would be so angry and frustrated myself!!! My boyfriend has type 2 diabetes and I am fearful that the foot neuropathy is going to happen to him sooner or later. I love him but I can't do everything for him and I can't be his nurse. He has this crazy addiction to diet Pepsi. I'm like, look, you're diabetic, take it seriously!!! Anyway, I hope eventually the situation you're in will work itself out. Take care. ,💖

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi, I do not try to kid myself in any way as I know no matter whatever I try to do it will be a monumental effort and struggle, I am lucky, my partner was paraplegic herself for over 3 years in a serious and nearly catastrophic road traffic accident, she was in a wheelchair all that time with 2 thirds of her skeleton damages in little pieces so she knows how things are. Your partner will have to immediately STOP with the diet coke as there is more sugar than the fluid in the drink, he may as well swallow a pint of pure sugar every time he has a can or bottle of drink. he is stupid to himself and he could go into a coma having such a high intake of sugar. As for you having to possibly take full care of him like my partner does with me the writing is on the wall and I know you know the answer to this already yourself. You will have little choice if you love the man at all, it does not hold itself back simply because you have different notions and feelings on the subject, if your man has Type 2 diabetes my thoughts are you will have to face and consider his situation may not get any better nor may not be reversible. as for the diabetic neuropathy, if he is getting pins and needles and stabbing pains and hot and cold sensitivity then he is already getting nerve damage and it is irreversible. there is no turning back. once the nerves are gone they do not recover like me. the feelings in your legs and feet simply go and like me, he will risk falling and stumbling. I feel if you are adamant then you need to do some serious thinking about your possible future together. it's a harsh thing to suggest and a bitter reality but you have to be perfectly crystal clear with your eyes wide open and face the truth. best of luck to you both and stay safe take care👍

[hypercat54]

Hi if your bungalow came with a disabled spot then by law others are not allowed to park there. If so you would be within your rights to have their vehicles towed away.

However if it came with a first come first served basis then you will need to take steps to protect it. Have you checked your lease? You have a lot of health issues so you do have a right to a guaranteed parking place.

As far as letting PIP know about the worsening of your condition it is up to you of course. But I have heard of a number of cases when this resulted in losing all of the PIP claim. The safe advice I guess would be to wait until it is running out and when you have to be assessed again put the new info in then.

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Hi, thank you for responding to me, firstly, because I live in a rented accommodation that the council rent out to me, the tenancy agreement signed by me at the time stipulated the 2 bungalows at the end of 4 others are for disabled tenants, Originally these were classed as old peoples bungalow like sheltered accommodation bungalows, the council housing authority reviewed it's regulations and changed them 4 years ago to accept over 55-year-olds once the original over 75 died or left the property to be rehomed in a care home these bungalows were to be leased to a younger generation. Unfortunately, half of the elder residents still reside here and object to 4 of us younger residents being here. It has caused a significant division and altercations with some tenants going head to head over the slightest petty things like owning dogs and pets and now parking. The counsellor who rang me today basically told me these issues were always here long before she worked for the council and certainly long before I was given a tenancy here. I have no rights of parking at all as the rules have been changed to accommodate and shut the other residents up by issuing a general rule no one is allowed parking in these bungalows with the exception of a disability and a registered disabled person. to get this you have to go through standard red tape and get occupational health to make a home assessment to show you are not capable of walking ect, use walking aids like I do and have a medical reason which I also have many. If they grant me this then the council will grant me legal parking access and even mark the parking bay with my home number preventing it from ever being taken by anyone. However, I have to go through this red tape ordeal which for me with social anxieties about having consultations with medical advisors, GP's and anyone who looks into my medical background asking personal questions which I find intrusive and patronising to be fair. they say 1 thing and mean another and I do not like the attitude they bring to the examinations as it is very abrupt and crude like an interrogation. Basically, I have my partner for support both physically and mentally, I have no family left, no friends nor do I get any help from outsiders, When you suffer bipolar, fibromyalgia, diabetes type 2, high cholesterol, anxiety and deep depression like I do it takes a monumental effort to pull through. I honestly feel powerless, I cannot get the law involved regarding parking as I have no legal right to. I can call the police if an altercation ever happens but I seldom get a chance to leave the home apart from the main shopping, occasional walks but short ones and with a struggle. A lot of normal activities now place me at risk of taking a fall or injury from a bad fall. a scooter was suggested but then my GP opposed the idea saying once I get into the seat of a mobility scooter I would not use my feet and lose all use of my legs so not to do this until the very worst case, I am only 55-56 this year so walking with a zimmer frame is not the best thing for me to do. I walk aided with an NHS walking stick, gel orthopaedic insoles and leg supports.

[hypercat54]

Ah I have just seen that they aren't parking in your place but outside their own front doors. If your bungalow came with the disabled spot then whatever anyone else does is not down to you but is up to the council to enforce.

If your neighbours want their own disabled spot then they can apply accordingly.

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

hence the council ringing me this morning asking me to apply for an occupational health assessment to get this granted and hopefully give me the monopoly then to park outside my home unhindered. It may never get that far but I am sick of the whole red tape process and the countless people you have to go through to get the job done. it doesn't exactly help my stress levels, my anxieties, my phobias of talking to strangers about personal and somewhat intrusive delicate subjects like mental health and personal health issues.

[lindaeliza]

Just let me know if you need someone who can talk at this time. Here is my Instagram instagram.com/defeat_anxious/

[Hidden in reply to lindaeliza]

I'm not really sure how to reply to this, I have no Instagram account, do not know what to do if I had an account anyway. if you had an email address or simply inbox me in Chat and go from there would be far better for me if your intentions are for the good.

[Roxylox]

I am simply apalled by the way you were treated. My heart goes out to you. That official/examiner sounds horrible.I know many officials in these sort of jobs can be so officious, and from your wrting you come across as a coherent well-mannered person.

I know what you mean about some getting so many benefits perhaps too easily and other deserving cases getting little.

It's great though that you have such a supportive partner and two dogs. I heartily hope things pick up for you.

[Hidden in reply to Roxylox]

well, it all remains a huge question mark to me? even the trusting loyal partner you applaud I have no guarantees of a future or a distant one at that, she has spoken many times of not being happy at all and her leaving me so I have no actual idea as to what my future may hold or entails. I do know I don't wish to be left on my own and also need company plus someone that loves me and equally back, either way, there will be someone out there who will want to be with me and love me. When you quiz her about a possible future or like last night asked her about even marriage she automatically told me she has no intentions of marriage so to me being engaged I question entirely what is the whole point to the exercise, I'm sorry to burst the bubble on her but she looks like yet another person who is going to reject me and just become another page in my diary. I even told her I find it grossly unfair that she builds up a loving relationship with my 2 dogs to speak of issues as harsh and cruel as walking out the door on all of us, so all I can do is "watch this space and deal with it if and when it may come to that" 😪