Coping

[alfreddy7]

Hi everyone,

I’m just here to vent a little.m, I hope that’s ok.

I was having such a really good day. Such I good day I even moved some stuff around the house to decorate. I would say I’ve been having such a good last 2 weeks Until I got triggered by something. I wish I hadn’t seen it but it was unavoidable.

And now I’m back to square one.

I wish things like these don’t get me so down and interfere with my recovery.

But anyway I hope you’re all having a good day today. And I’m always here to talk.

*Hugs*

[Rafiki11]

I’m so sorry. 😢

You’ll become more trigger-resilient with time. You’ll gain perspective and be able to reel in that hair trigger automatic response before it gets completely unstoppable.

One thing that’s helped me is to expose myself to my triggers a little at a time instead of protecting myself completely from them.

Pictures of my father, thoughts of seeing my father, and, of course, actually seeing him felt terrifying.

“Fortunately” for me, I was forced to face my fears to try to reach out to my youngest sister who was estranged from me.

I would look at old pictures and then calm myself down with breathing and thinking about safe people who love me.

Eventually, I was able to chat with him cheerfully at a wedding without going into full panic mode.

Still, I thought I saw him in a waiting room I was in while I was with my 6 year old. I felt panicked. I wasn’t mentally prepared to bump into him “by myself” with my son with me. I was so relieved when the nurse called him and his name and voice were completely different.

[alfreddy7 in reply to Rafiki11]

Hi rafiki11

Yeah I read somewhere about controlled exposure. It shouldn’t be that difficult for me to expose myself with my trigger when it can easily be found anywhere online nowadays.

It’s mainly the sadness and anxiety I get when I start thinking if it would ever happen to me.

Although it wasn’t as bad as before I should continue to expose myself to it little by little as you mentioned. To where it no longer affects me.

Thanks for your reply rafiki

[Rafiki11 in reply to alfreddy7]

I hope it helps! I’ve learned that you can think about it like a blue zone of complete bliss, a green zone of growth, a yellow zone of discomfort, an orange zone of pain, and a red zone of out of control.

So you should be in blue, green, or yellow most of the time. You won’t grow if you’re in blue. It’s difficult to grow when you’re in orange. Just dip your toe into yellow now and then in a controlled way then reward yourself.

Somehow gratitude also helps with fears of bad things happening in the future.

[alfreddy7 in reply to Rafiki11]

I’m saving this. Rafiki11 Thanks for all your help. I’m definitely gonna use the color reference.

🥰

[Rafiki11 in reply to alfreddy7]

That makes me happy! I enjoy learning and I enjoy seeing other people empowered to help themselves.

[alfreddy7 in reply to Rafiki11]

I saw this on an Anxiety Help page. Sorry about the language.

This is also Rafiki

Tranquility

[Rafiki11 in reply to alfreddy7]

Yes! Easier said than done. 😉

[Venus1234]

Hi Alfreddy7,

I am sorry that you are going through this. I know how difficult it is, I had a similar situation recently. Went on a downward spiral, but I realised that this time it was shorter than the previous times. In some ways, this showed me that although I may regress sometimes from a trigger, I am still healing and moving forward in the bigger picture. It gave me some comfort and I hope it will help you to know this too. Take care.

[alfreddy7 in reply to Venus1234]

Hi Venus1234,

You are correct. We always have to look at the bit picture and no matter how bad the step back was. You’re still 2 steps forward.

I also did notice that this triggered wasn’t as bad as before.

I appreciate your kind words

[Venus1234 in reply to alfreddy7]

I am glad that you are healing, slowly but surely. I wish you the best and I hope that we will both be able to navigate through these difficult times in the healthiest way possible

[Broken1971]

Hope you bounce back quick. It's good that you are venting...writing out what's going on. You're not back to square one, just a minor hiccup.

[alfreddy7 in reply to Broken1971]

Hi broken,

I feel a little better today. I just had to sleep it off. Not sure if that’s healthy for it. But I’m a bit better now.

Thank you ❤️