Praying for better days

[Onelove86]

How can you wake up feeling pain, feel the constant pain through the day, go to sleep with the pain. Just to wake up and feel the pain all over again everyday for the past 7 months. I feel like I’m living in another world. Nothing seems real to me. I have days where if feels like my body is shaking or if the ground is falling out from under me. When laying down it feels as if I’m falling or as if my soul is leaving my body. I have pain on my arms and chest. I get dizzy, lightheaded, nauseated, and have bad headaches. For the past 7 months I have been to the ER over 200 times and have been to a lot of different specialist. I got diagnosed with Thalassemia anemia. I have ok days, bad day, and horrible days. I tried multiple medications and nothing seems to work. I’ve started seeing a therapist. Hopefully this helps cause I feel like I’m at the end of the road. I have had suicidal thoughts. I don’t have anyone but my two young kids which I can’t physically take care. I feel so bad bout that and then to feel constant physical, emotional pain just makes me want to end it all. I know my babies need me so I’m holding on.

[Pinkie56]

The therapist will help. Just be sure he/she knows about the dizzy/leaving body experience. It is a symptom. You are not going crazy. Not by a long shot. I was in a near fatal car crash in 1977. Broke my back amongst other things. My back has hurt ever since. Sometimes I can't even move. But, right or wrong, I look at the pain as proof of life. I could have died that day. I didn't & I've got the pain to prove I'm still here. Your therapist might also be able to help you with some techniques to help with the pain. Like breathing exercises, visualization, etc. Don't knock any technique until you've tried it. I mean really tried it. Some of these techniques I file it under Sounds Fishy But I'll Give It a Shot. Some work some are pure bs. But you won't know 'til you try.

[Onelove86 in reply to Pinkie56]

Thank you I really appreciate the advice, just hope that my new therapist is better than the last one. At the moment I’m willing to try everything.

[Hidden]

I think it is brave that you are there for your kids. I know u feel like you are not doing much for them, I was raised by a grandmo and I love her to bits but I needed my mom when I was young even tho she did not have the means to care for us. I am saying this bcz I know that your children just needs to see you. They don't see ur problems but just you and at this time, it is enough. I am sorry for what you are going thru. I can see that you are doing everything possible to deal with ur problem. Hold in there. We are here for you, even if it just to listen. Sometimes we need to let things out.

[Onelove86 in reply to Hidden]

You don’t know how much that men’s to me because at times I really feel like a bad mom. Reading this just brings a smile to my face.

[Hidden in reply to Onelove86]

You matter so much to your children. I know this bcz I even have nieces and nephews who just want to see their parents but bcz of udults fights, they are unable and it hurts the kids so much that when u sit down with them, they will tell you, they just need to hug their parents. So, never forget that. U might not be doing much for them at the moment yet you are too much for them. Thank you

[Jrick34]

Oh friend, I praying for you as I write it. Iam dealing with something similar and trust me I know the pain. Pinikie56 is right, the therapist will help and be sure to be completely upfront about everything. Iam holding on for my family because I know they need me and it pains me that I cant be all I can for them right now. Just know you will you make it. I will absolutely keep you in my prayers.

[Onelove86 in reply to Jrick34]

Thank you so much for the prayers and I am holding on there for my kids and praying for better days.

[Pinkie56 in reply to Jrick34]

Pinkie is right? Really?

Can I get that on a t shirt? 😀