Anxiety is alive in me today

[Jim-Z]

I am trying to recognize that anxiety, the nervousness does go away. But it makes this day very difficult to push myself. It is a sunny day. I so wish I felt that way. I have several issues with my house (roof and shed) that I am trying to have fixed. My best friend is helping me find the necessary people to get this work done. She has saved my life through two prior episodes. I had one person who looked at the shed on Sunday. I felt ok when I talked with him yesterday. Another person is suppose to come look at my roof this week. I have the money to have these things fixed. But nervousness started yesterday afternoon, calmed down some in the late evening. And now its back started mid-morning today. This morning I listened to a 45 minute full body scan for mindfulness meditation. I listened to it twice this morning. They were semi-peaceful moments. After the 2 meditations it was very difficult getting out of bed. The depression all began around mid-October. I recognize it because my last episode was in 2016 and a minor episode in 2017. I am now seeing a psychiatrist and therapist. I have a 6th appointment with my therapist tomorrow. I was in group therapy for 30 days in November. Those half day virtual sessions went fine. I was engaged. However, in the past few days the anxiety has become worse. I do walk on a treadmill every day - 60 minutes at now 2.6mph. It is my escape from things in general as well as the anxiety. My hands are shaking as I compose this message. Are the any words of wisdom for me out there?

[Sunshine425]

Just want you to know you are not alone. I think youre doing all you can to help yourself.... which is so great. You recognize your feelings and trying to tackle it. Im suffering bad the past few days with panic. So keep up the great work and enjoy apt tmrw! Hope your feeling less shakey.

[Jim-Z in reply to Sunshine425]

Thank you. I am feeling less anxiety right now which is always good. I do look forward to seeing my therapist on Tuesday. This will be my 6th session. No ah-ha moments yet. But I am not giving up. I think mindfulness therapy of some type will fit in to my recovery from anxiety and depression.