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hard time overcoming morning anxiety today

Daisy425 profile image
26 Replies

yesterday I spent the evening at my boyfriends house and it was great. I was anxious about going, but everything ended up being fine! This morning however I woke up anxious. This has been the norm for me recently. I’m having a bit of a harder time today compared to most days pulling myself out of it. My stomach has been slightly upset because of this medication I have to take for PCOS, so that also doesn’t help (I have a fear of throwing up). I just feel slightly defeated that I am not 100% back to my normal self, as it has been two weeks since my panic attack. My therapist did say there are options like an inpatient day program, but that would require me to leave my job, which I find helps so much with my anxiety. I really do not want to go into a program like that.

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Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425
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26 Replies
Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

i am glad that you had a good time with your boyfriend . Your not alone i sometimes get anxious in the morning too but i blame myself because of the lack of sleep that i have sometimes

Artistfriend profile image
Artistfriend

Life isnt a straight line, there are always ups and downs. You had a good time last night but today is more challenging thats normal. Think of the bigger picture of where youll be in two months versus two weeks

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Artistfriend

thank you so much! Things have been way better, but still not completely normal. I really don’t want to have to go to an outpatient day program. I know that might be a great option, but I just don’t think I’m ready for that yet. Work is really helpful and so is my daily routine with my anxiety. I just have the idea in the back of my mind that maybe I won’t get better unless I go, but I know that isn’t true.

Artistfriend profile image
Artistfriend in reply to Daisy425

Youre welcome, im glad i can help

I know people who have done day programs and they can be very helpful in stabilizing a person and teaching them about their problems. I wouldnt worry about the routine part of it because your day would still be filled with activity from what i understand.

It does sound like youre doing good on your own though, keep working with your therapist, learning and reading about anxiety on your own, find more support if you need it

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Artistfriend

thank you! I know worrying about if I’ll get better without one won’t do me any good. I am eating regularly, I am completing school work and going to work daily, and I am spending times with friends and family. I feel anxiety but I am not unable to live life. I get feelings of anxiety and it’s hard but I just try to push through if that makes sense

Artistfriend profile image
Artistfriend in reply to Daisy425

It totally makes sense, thats pretty much how i operate too. I always try and be grateful everyday for everything i have and am able to do

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Artistfriend

I know only I can answer this question but does it sound like I need a day program?

Artistfriend profile image
Artistfriend in reply to Daisy425

Honestly to me, no. I think that if youre really overwhelmed and not making progress any other way, if youre having daily panic attacks and cant work or function in the same way then it would be something to consider

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Artistfriend

thank you so much that really helps. I just needed someone to listen and hear me out

Artistfriend profile image
Artistfriend in reply to Daisy425

Thanks, it really helps me to know im able to support others also. Anytime 👍

Zyxx profile image
Zyxx

Yeah, doesn’t sound like a great idea at all, to leave your job for that.

Have you ever thought of dietary interventions for the PCOS?

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Zyxx

yes I see a nutritionist

Zyxx profile image
Zyxx in reply to Daisy425

Hope it’s a good one. There are ways of eating and supplements that can really help with that.

I hope you don’t do the day therapy thing. They once suggested to my sister that she go to a place like that, all week, and home for the weekends. She had a job, a house, a boyfriend. If she’d done it, she would have lost her job which would have been a problem ever after. So I told her “don’t do it.”

Sadly, last year when I was doing badly (but eating super healthily, going to the gym each day etc) she advised me…to have myself committed to a mental hospital. When I said “why would I do that” she kept on. For what reason? I said “I need to go for a walk” and left. Side note, I know. But it’s disappointing to me that I wanted my sister to do well, and she in turn doesn’t give a hoot if I get hospitalised. I never have been, and I’m not about to start now.

Oh, well. Anxiety sucks, doesn’t it.

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Zyxx

I am so sorry to hear that. The program isn’t overnight. I would just have to take a leave of absence from work as it would meet a couple hours a day in the middle of the day. I don’t want to leave work. I know I would be able to come back but my job is a routine and a good distraction. I love the people I work with and it brings me joy. I just am struggling a bit right now. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not to the point where I can’t function, but it’s just a consistent feeling of uneasiness

Zyxx profile image
Zyxx in reply to Daisy425

Oh I know exactly what you mean. The pervasive sense that something is not right, that you’re not safe, that maybe something terrible will happen.

It’s absolutely great that you love your job and love the people you work with. And if that helps, I really hope you’ll never give that up.

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Zyxx

I find your words so comforting and reassuring so thank you! I worry that everyone thinks I won’t get better if I don’t do an outpatient day program. And I’m starting to get scared that it’s true

Zyxx profile image
Zyxx in reply to Daisy425

Yeah…that’s how it goes when your nearest and dearest think you should go do something like that. You start to feel pressure, and like you’re doing the wrong thing if you don’t go along. You feel anxious anyway, and the notion that you’re doing something others don’t think you should adds to the pervasive unsafe feeling.

In reality, every time you do something that you feel, in your heart, is right, and you go against what the others think you should do, you’ve done great. If I’d complied with what everyone thought, I’d have been put in a mental hospital at 18, and again last year, I guess. Instead, at 18 I refused to go, and last year I called two friends, right outside when I was walking in the woods having left my sister’s place, and both friends said they trusted my judgement.

Thank god for good friends. I might have caved…and for what? I wasn’t a suicide risk or any other sort of risk. I was doing fine, wasn’t being a problem to anybody,

Most of the things that have gone wrong in my life were because I did what others wanted. That’s a fast ticket to mental health issues.

For instance, I wanted to study philosophy, but my family told me that wasn’t right for me (and my sister threw objects against the wall in anger, because I “dared to think I would be able to do philosophy”. ) They all felt I should do law.

I loathed law, but I did it, because I thought they were probably right, and giving in was a convenient way to avoid conflict.

I kept hating law. After 8 arduous years I finally got my law degree. But I never did anything with it, because it just wasn’t my world. I wanted to go into journalism. Applied to many papers as an intern, even very small local ones, got hired nowhere. They like hiring people with a university degree, but law is one of the very few degrees these papers weren’t interested in. Philosophy on the other hand is a degree that can work if you want to be a journalist in my country.

It is many decades later, now. If I think what I regret in my life…maybe I regret some things that I decided and that didn’t work out…but at least they were my decisions. I certainly don’t regret that I didnt have myself committed to a mental hospital. (Instead I went to therapy with a great, caring shrink.) But i’ll regret that stupid law degree till the day I die.

Don’t be like me. Don’t regret things, later, because you did what others felt you should do. They will not be there when you have to pick up the pieces. And whereas it’s a good thing to avoid most pointless conflict, it’s a bad thing when you avoid conflict just to escape the anxiety that goes with following your own heart, against others’ wishes.

If you want to have good mental health, you’ve got to follow your own heart. Caring what other people think is one of the biggest factors in depression and anxiety.

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Zyxx

thank you so much for sharing your story. You are so right about worrying about what others thing. Unfortunately that is something I struggle with. I am a people pleaser and always want to please everyone

Zyxx profile image
Zyxx in reply to Daisy425

I understand. People pleasing is what we learn in childhood…because a parent or someone else shows anger, distress or disappointment when you don’t do or say what they’re hoping for.

And then it becomes a habit that’s hard to break, because every time you feel you’ve let someone down, or angered them, you’ll feel anxiety. Sometimes you don’t even know where it’s coming from.

The happiest people I’ve known were people who really didn’t care anymore what others think. But it’s not easy getting there, because there’s this discomfort every time you ignore verbal and non-verbal signs of (dis)approval from others.

It feels safer if the people around you don’t disapprove of you. But like many people you may end up feeling you haven’t lived your own life. It’s one of the prime regrets of dying people, according to hospice workers - “I wish I’d authentically lived my own life.”

Teaching profile image
Teaching

There are always ups and downs in life. I also experience a lot anxieties especially in the morning. I pray you get better.

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Teaching

thank you!!

Pearl67 profile image
Pearl67

g’morning, Daisy! What is your morning routine from the second you open your eyes until you feel the anxiety leave? Are you peaceful when you fall asleep or are you already in the morning anticipating anxiety?

Just a couple of questions to see if I have anything to add. Hoping this am was easier!

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Pearl67

good morning! I’ve noticed I have had a harder time staying asleep. When I open my eyes I usually hit snooze a few times. Then I just sort of force myself to get up and eat breakfast. I don’t think I am thinking of anything particular when I am anxious in the mornings. I just get worried about not being able to pull myself out of it

Pel3749 profile image
Pel3749

Hi,seems like you are coming along but it takes time. Stay in touch with your therapist even if you feel that you are getting better. Stay in touch and God bless.

Daisy425 profile image
Daisy425 in reply to Pel3749

thank you so much

scansnap profile image
scansnap

It might be helpful if you practice some meditation, deep breathing, or mindfulness as soon as you wake up. These may help you to feel more relaxed and better able to start the day. Even five minutes before you get up could be helpful.

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