Social anxiety stabbed me again today

[Gurdeep212]

It was a Christmas celebration at my office. Everyone was so excited for the Secret santa activity so was I. From entering the activity room to coming back to my workplace, I was worried about "all eyes on me", how should I behave so that no-one had negative thoughts about me and thinking of copying others' standing positions and styles and all. Want to get off this as soon as possible. Thinking of reading a book on CBT "retrain your brain". Have anyone read it? Please help.

[tamka38]

I did CBT therapy and I got the DBT book and it help me a lot

[Gurdeep212 in reply to tamka38]

Did you had the same symptoms? Can you please share the book link?

[tamka38 in reply to Gurdeep212]

I got the book from barnes and noble in 2016

[Gurdeep212 in reply to tamka38]

What's the name of the book and the author?

[tamka38 in reply to Gurdeep212]

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for...

by Matthew McKay

[Gurdeep212 in reply to tamka38]

Thank you

[tamka38 in reply to Gurdeep212]

U welcome

[fauxartist]

you now..... everyone is not that interested in what is going on with us, they have their own worries and concerns and we are probably not on their radar at all. So to waste all that time and energy thinking we are being the focus of someone's attention isn't realistic, I mean unless you break out into break dancing in the middle of the floor, all eyes are probably not on you . Breath and just be in the moment....and you'll be okay....

[Gurdeep212 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for replying, actually I know it's not true that everyone is watching mel, but it is hard to believe for me and unable to get out of it.

[hypercat54]

Hi it might be a shock to your system but I am sure you were the last thing on your colleagues minds! Why on earth would they be thinking of you? Are you that important to them? They are much to concerned with themselves and their own problems. Why do you think all their eyes would be on you? x

[Gurdeep212 in reply to hypercat54]

That what I feel most of the times. I want to be like a group of people care for me, talk to me. Instead I sit in the corner having boring moments distressing about why I am like this...

[fauxartist in reply to Gurdeep212]

the thing about work colleges is....they are usually not your friends....and you don't really have anything in common with most of them other than work. So it's not the best socially conducive event to begin with. Many can be divisive and looking our for their own interests, some may have petty jealousy, some are like you, and just can't connect....for most of these work things, it's free food and drinks, and making an appearance and then on you go..... so don't put too much into it., your better off.

[Gurdeep212 in reply to fauxartist]

Yes, I agree with you. You cannot find replacement of your school buddies. People at work talk to you for their own benefits.

The thing is I see everyday people around me talking a lot, show leadership and all, in which I fail. I want to do this but not able to do that.

[fauxartist in reply to Gurdeep212]

there are other ways to make your mark....and that is by doing your job to the best of your abilities....to a standard your proud of.....and don't compare yourself to anyone else, who knows what their motives are or end game is...it's not your problem or concern really, they mean nothing to you at the end of the day if your doing your best....that's good enough....have your own niche carved out with your own merit and your self esteem ....

[Gurdeep212 in reply to fauxartist]

Yes, that is helpful. Even in the past, I have been helped by setting my own goals and working accordingly.

I have now started reading a book on CBT "retrain your brain".

I want to get off that "all eyes on me" factor and fear of not taking part in discussions and zero self confidence when meeting strangers. Hope to be successful soon.

Thank you fauxartist for your help.

[TangledUpIn in reply to fauxartist]

I totally agree, for most of the work things it's free food and drink, making an appearance and then on you go🚘