Depression and anxiety

[Mamabear12]

I have a teen 19 daughter away at college who I think may be experiencing depression and anxiety. She can’t explain why she’s feeling this way, why she’s crying or what triggered it. She’s currently seeing a counselor at her college weekly but it doesn’t seem to be helping. As a parent I feel helpless not being able to console and comfort her or tell her why she’s feeling this way. I just listen and give advice where I can. She’ll be home soon for the holidays and I plan to set her up with a counselor here. But would like any advice on better ways to support her or hear from others who have dealt with this.

[Ali500]

What type of things is she experiencing and does she have a connection with her counselor?

Finding the right counselor can take some time and she can let the counselor know what exactly she wants out of each session; such as coping strategies or some CBT. Her connection with the counselor is important, so she feels comfortable to share her thoughts.

Just being there for her and checking in on her is the best support you can do. Stay positive, express that it will get better and of course express your love towards her. She will eventually need to find distractions and develop coping strategies for her anxiety.

Do you think she misses the comfort of home? Maybe, see if there is a change in her mood while she is home for the holidays.

[Mamabear12 in reply to Ali500]

Thank you for the advice. I will monitor things when she gets home and see how it goes

[11112020]

I would say letting her know that you'll always be there for her and she's safe talking to you would help.

If she can get into a routine of doing comforting things, exercising, sleeping well, eating well and talking to you / friends every day, that would also help her I think.

Maybe if she can arrange socially distanced regular in-person meetings with her friends too that would / could help. Even throwing a Frisbee in a park.

[VDC1]

I had severe depression at the same age and ended up dropping out of college. It was life altering. Definitely, know that every attempt to reach out to her means something to her. Every attempt to talk to her or spend time with her means a lot to her, so don’t give up on her.

[PastelPink20 in reply to VDC1]

Yeah, I transferred and don’t know if I’m capable of coming back for another semester after this fall.

[PastelPink20]

First of all, mom great job at seeking help and setting up measures to help your kiddo!

It can be very disorienting to be suddenly gradually doing so badly. I imagine she doesn’t even know what could help her either.

It does depend on the cause a little bit, what will help her. It could be due to the change with college - that is a lot of transition that’s difficult. So, with time and adjustment and access/usage of resources means that the following semesters could be better.

I have found that therapy does work, with time. There might be other measures, coping skills, medication, or other that could help her.

It’s overwhelming and difficult. I have dealt with both for a majority of my life. Therapy is what has enabled me to be more self aware, to realize the triggers, to understand my cognitive distortions, and to sometimes stop the cycle and remind myself of truths/what I can do to help myself. I am currently waiting to go to my doctor to adjust my meds though.

[EuroJoy]

You are a loving mom. Let your daughter know that you are always there for her no matter what by making her favorite meals and making the home a comfort and safe haven for her in ways that she feels comfortable. Encouraging her to talk to a licenced counselor is good idea as she can get her feelings off her chest. Listening to her as you are doing now is always good. It gives her the security you are there for her. Is she experiencing any hormonal changes or cycle related issues? Just asking as you might want to check that - I remember at that age I used to go through some issues which used to make me cry at every possible moment, without reason.

[Mamabear12 in reply to EuroJoy]

I’m not aware of any hormonal changes but thanks for pointing that out. Your advice is helpful