anxiety and depression

[bbwaad]

I have been dealing with severe anxiety for 2 years overthinking everything, thinking I'm dying, 24/7 panic attacks. All of this causes me to miss when I was young and happy and be more depressed bc I cant and I feel like I will never get rid of my anxiety which is so stressful I do not understand how I have dealt with this for 2 years straight. I just don't know how to stop overthinking at one point I didn't I don't even know what happened. I think it could maybe be from my ADHD or OCD but I'm not sure. I feel like I need to stop thinking ab the purpose of life and who I am bc it makes it worse. I wish I didn't have to deal with this I just don't understand why or what causes this.

[Walnutbutterfly]

It's like your brain is your worst enemy? No shut off? I've been on citalopram and then escitalopram for chronic anxiety and it took away the delusional panic attack states that would happen at the drop of a hat (actually sound/tones would set off severe panic attacks and it didn't have to be loud) but my mind still won't stop going down paths it shouldn't. I smoke cannabis and some strains help me with the constant insanity.

[bbwaad in reply to Walnutbutterfly]

yes, I try to tell myself to stop overthinking but I can't. I wish I could just forget some things that would make all this a little better.

[Walnutbutterfly in reply to bbwaad]

And people don't realize that your brain is devoting all of this energy to something that's NOT NECESSARY to think about over and over and you could be using that brain space for other stuff but then it's JUST SO TIRING that there's no energy left for what you "should" be thinking about. I am so there with you. And it's like just because my constant attacks have been "quieted" it doesn't mean it goes away.

[bbwaad in reply to Walnutbutterfly]

exactly I feel like I'm having a 24/7 panic attack but no one cares b because I just hide it so well.

[Walnutbutterfly in reply to bbwaad]

UGH! Hiding and maintaining composure so hard and tiring and enough to drive you crazy in a whole other way. You seriously have no free brain space. I hope this isn't rude to ask....I'm new to discussion forums for mental health... Are you not interested in going on an ant anxiety med?

[bbwaad in reply to Walnutbutterfly]

I was on antidepressants and that was supposed to make my overthinking and depression better and calm my anxiety. But of course, I got off so I could drink bc I was too scared of the side effects of drinking on it to do it

[Walnutbutterfly in reply to bbwaad]

Yeah.....I'm a little bit of a drinker, suffered some consequences (liver out of whack) until I changed my drinking lifestyle. I'm on an anti anxiety (escitalopram) plus a beta blocker to slow my heart rate. I went off my depression meds because I was still totally depressed. I think I was on buproprion or something. Having a break from those constant anxiety/panic attacks feels so good. But I still drink "lightly".

[Walnutbutterfly in reply to Walnutbutterfly]

Do you have constant blush response too? I hated that because it was the only way people could see my daily anxiety. The beta blocker totally took away my blush response (as well as physically calmed me down). I'm so wanting you to have the break from the madness!!! It feels so good to at least be at this level...I'm still an overthinker/worrier/brooder but at least I'm not constantly buzzing and ready to go delusional at any moment.

[bbwaad in reply to Walnutbutterfly]

I don't really blush but my mom has said I get pale and kinda blush. I am definitely looking forward to a break

[Walnutbutterfly in reply to bbwaad]

Well I'm rooting for you and if you have any questions about meds you can always me💗

[De183 in reply to bbwaad]

I'm also anxious everyday same for past 2 years feeling so trapped now even my mother started having panic attacks so I'm hiding and pretending to be fine as i don't want her to worry and fall into this pit where I'm right now.

[Walnutbutterfly in reply to De183]

That's so heavy having to worry about your mom too. Having to hide what your going through is such a weight. I'm so sorry. I'm sending you strength through my thoughts. It's hard enough going through this on your own but when you see a loved one going through it too and now you don't want to make things worse....I'm so sorry. You sound like a very loving and caring person.💗

[De183 in reply to Walnutbutterfly]

Thank you so much I'm grateful to find this site where I could share my thoughts and pain with you all.

[Agora1]

Hi bbwaad, there are many reasons for Anxiety. It usually happens when we feelwe have lost control of our lives. Something usually prompts fear to accelerate our

thoughts causing the overthinking and rumination.

When panic attacks take over 24/7, then it's time to reach out for medication and therapy.

It doesn't have to be forever but just long enough to address the root of your GAD.

The fear cycle needs to be stopped. Looking into other methods in dealing with your anxiety

can help immensely.

I have found that not fighting the panic and fear is an important key in getting anxiety under

control. The more we fight the feeling, the more we go into the Fight or Flight pattern.

For myself, I have found that Meditation and Controlled Breathing has stopped my GAD.

I listen to Self Hypnosis Meditation each and every day. Waking up, mid-afternoon and before sleep.

Life is so amazing once we get our control back. Wishing you well new friend. xx

[bbwaad in reply to Agora1]

thank you so much I am starting meditation every day but it doesn't work long enough I hope the more snd longer I do it for the b etter it gets really want to be me again.

[Agora1 in reply to bbwaad]

bbwaad, please don't give up on meditation. It's a matter of being consistent and notonly using it when emotions run high.

I will never stop my meditation and breathing. They are my "key" to success.

My go to is "YouTube" I am always searching for different meditation videos to try.

We all respond differently. I've always been trained in Self Hypnosis and Biofeedback

which have given me control of my mind.

When the time is right and you are ready it will all fall into place for you. xx

[bbwaad in reply to Agora1]

thank you so much it means alot!

[b1b1b1 in reply to Agora1]

Interesting that a feeling of loss of control leads to anxiety. This really resonates with me. I will have to give it some more thought. There may be some things in my life that I can exert a little more control over. At the present moment, however it is difficult as my husband died two years ago (no control over that), I am in the process of moving (limited control and a pain in the neck process), and there are a few medical issues - again limited control. I will think about this, though.

[bbwaad in reply to b1b1b1]

I think I have a problem with time I always wish I was young and happy again also I wish I didn't have to lose people from passing away. those are two things I always feel I wish I could have control of

[Agora1 in reply to b1b1b1]

Hi b1, you are absolutely right in that there are things we have no control overin our lives, however it's about control over our mind in what we can change and

what we must accept. Accepting pain, accepting life situations can be tolerable

by Meditation and Breathing. It's a daily practice for me.

I too live with Chronic Pain, Medical issues and life situation that can't be changed.

My peace of mind, my positivity as well as lowering the threshold of my pain levels

is done through these methods. I wish you my best xx

[b1b1b1 in reply to Agora1]

Thanks, Agora. Life can be tough. x

[Christine05]

I’m right there with you I always feel sorry for myself which I know it’s wrong I look at people like why are they normal and I’m not so whatever you’re going through it’s normal just know that you’re not alone there’s a way that we can fix this panic and anxiety every morning headaches I’d be good

[cheekalo37]

Hi bbwaad. This is the first time I’ve replied to a comment, but felt led to do so.

I started my severe anxiety and panic attacks in my teens. Im now 61. A good Christian therapist helped me immensely back then. The best advice I ever got from him was to face that fear of being afraid. In other words, let yourself “feel” it. What’s the worse that could happen? You won’t die from it. The more you try to put it out of your mind, the worse you feel. Roll thru the feelings. They are JUST irrational feelings and thoughts of an overactive brain and not reality. When the panic starts, it will pass each time. I also can’t recommend enough how important meditation and breathing exercises are when you feel it coming on. Prayer is a big help for me too.

I’ve been able to cope with my anxiety most of my life, and had a very successful 30-year career in advertising and design. But several months ago, I started feeling like I was in my teens and going through it all over again. Constant fear, anxiety (especially when I wake up), losing control, overthinking, etc. Not sure why it’s reared it’s ugly head again, but maybe the death of my dad last year (from Alzheimer’s and Covid) opened up some childhood fears. (We weren’t allowed to show weakness and not show emotions, which was a big reason I’ve had anxiety all of my life). I’m now practicing cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), seeing a Christian counselor, and my doctor put on a low-dose anti-anxiety med about 6 weeks ago (for the first time in my life), which isn’t working yet and I’m having bad side effects. Thank goodness for the low-dose Xanax he lets me use when I need it! It’s not a long-term fix, but it helps during the rough time. Hopefully, the Citalopram will start to help. I was adverse to getting on a drug too because I was afraid of side effects and also worried that I could never enjoy a cocktail anymore. But as long as you don’t abuse or overindulge drinking, it should be ok. Most of my family and many friends are on SSRIs and enjoy a drink or two without issues.

Anyway, just remember that there IS help out there. More people are going through this than you realize. I totally understand your desperation and I’m on your side. This is something all of us anxious people have to deal with our whole lives. But at least we have ways to cope and keep going! You WILL find your own ways to do that. Remember, “This too shall pass”!

[cbgrace1980]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. Please speak with a friend or family member that you trust so that they can check on you. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for many years and my doctor has been a tremendous source of help for me. Hugs to you.