Anxiety and Depression: I continue to... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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Anxiety and Depression

Rlost profile image
23 Replies

I continue to try everything I can to get rid of anxiety. I have a brother with stage four cancer and he tells me to live a happy life since I'm "healthy." I feel so bad to see my brother fighting for his life while I find it hard to keep going with mine. I really do try not to give up but there are days I don't want to live anymore. I hate anxiety so much. I hate the feeling it just takes all my energy away. The days are so long I feel like its never going to end. I guess it's all in my head right? But how do I stop all the physical symptoms I get from anxiety and panic. I get very anxious in crowded places and I get anxious if I'm left alone. I drink so much tea to get through my day, I take deep breaths but I don't want to be feeling like I'm in survival mode. Nobody else in my family or relatives have gone through this. I don't know who to talk it out with. My mom seems to hate me for this, she compares me with everyone else that has their life together. I don't want to die but I don't want to live like this anymore. I believe in God I pray, I cry but I don't know why I can't control my emotions like everyone else around me. I am still struggling to eat I hope this goes away because I don't to get more sick. I have gone to my primary care provider and she prescribed anxiety medication. What really causes anxiety? I wonder if my body lacks something besides food for now. I know that is my fault for not eating well. I know we are all going to die one day but I don't understand why I feel like I'm going to die from a panic attack. I get chest pain and my heart rate increases. I feel light headed and nausea. Can anyone else relate? If so for how long have you been struggling with anxiety? With or without medication?

23 Replies
kateba profile image

Know it all very well. Medicine is good but therapy with a professional should go with it. I've been through all those symptons several times. I just got out of the hospital 2 weeks ago. I remember the first few days having to force myself to eat. I'm slowly getting my feet under me again. Remember you did not get this way overnight, so don't expect a quick cure. I know being patient is difficult but try to look for small improvements.

Rlost profile image
Rlost in reply to kateba

Thank you it is hard for me to eat when I have my mouth full of food I spit it I hate this feeling. Why were you at the hospital? If you don't mind sharing?

kateba profile image
kateba in reply to Rlost

My anxiety and depression got bad. I needed to go in the hospital mostly to be able to see a psychiatrist and get on medication. Where I live if you call to make an appt. with a psychiatrist it's 7-8 months until you can get in. The rest of the hospitalization was not worth it. I have good days and bad days. Did not sleep well last night and this morning is a bit rough

Meowmeows2 profile image
Meowmeows2 in reply to Rlost

I don't spit my food out, but lose my appetite completely. I'm suffering from depression.

Pretty much everyone on this site can relate to you, you have come to the right place:) Everyday, every minute by minute. Anxiety will strike at any moment. I try my best to recognize the "triggers" and keep triggers at bay. Not always a easy task when we can't always control our situations. For example, work, work can get chaotic. Family, friendships and partner, partners. They all have their own thought process so that is totally a disaster waiting. I try to not to get caught up in whatever seems to be triggering my anxiety feeling. I observe, remain calm and quiet. Try my best to choose my words carefully and hopefully anxiety will be averted. Lol, sorry I just have to make lite of it. I have been living with my anxiety all my life and that has been a while:) Why did this happen to me? I know I did not ask, instigate this on me. What would life have been like, if this hadn't happened to me. I probably would have made better choices, not reacting negatively to probably problems I made, because of my complex ptsd-anxiety. I hope you get what I am trying to express, say. All we can do is educate yourself about "anxiety". Learn about what triggers, what healthy coping methods to handle, manage our delightful "anxiety". I'm sorry you had to join this frustrating however liveable illness. Keep reading, writing, journaling, posting helps. Don't be a victim and don't be a bully, advocate is a healthy strategy. You are not alone.

Lyn87 profile image

You're not alone! It's difficult when those around us don't understand how anxiety works. It's not something you can just get over instantly. Is there a particular issue causing your anxiety or is this something you've had for awhile? Either way, it sounds like you could really benefit from working with a therapist.

I completely understand having no appetite but it's important to get calories and nutrition in your body. I sometimes drink protein shakes or some type of liquid nutrition when I can't bring myself to eat. Learn ways to trigger your relaxation response...deep belly breathing with 6 second inhale and exhale, (5 breath cycles per minute) help me. I also do a lot of guided meditations and yoga, even when I'm not feeling anxious. Exercise, go for a walk outdoors if you can. Occupy your mind with a project or task that gets you out of your head. These are some of the things that help me. The medication will help, but you should try to find someone to talk to who can help you through this. I found a local support group of women with depression and anxiety. Maybe there's something like that in your area?

Wannachange01 profile image

Same condition here.... I am trying not to take medication

I have this to - im crippled by it. Ive walked to the edge of a cliff, walked to the end of a train station platform and i'm lucky i dont have a gun else I'd be certain to blow my brains out.....I feel so trapped, too tired of living yet to afraid to die.

Rlost profile image
Rlost in reply to

That's exactly how I feel

I feel like I am cracking up under the strain of staying alive.

Lovekh profile image
Lovekh in reply to

Are you taking medication or seeing a doctor? You sound like you are reaching out for help. I get it... I really do.

califa profile image

Have you tried escitalopram for your depression. Ask your doctor about it. Good luck.

Have you tried Clonazepam yet? It really works for me. Its long-acting so I feel calm all day. That coupled with cognitive behavioral therapy with a good therapist should help immensely. And try not to worry about taking meds. You need to start feeling well enough to tackle the task of overcoming anxiety. Then you can progress from there. This advice, by the way, came to me from one of the most respected health institutions in the world. I didn’t make it up myself. We understand and we are here for you.

Wislaw profile image

I found this to be very helpful:

Tjgg profile image

First of all, I am sorry about your brother and I am sorry you have to go through this. I think you just need to Express your emotions, right now you are going through a hard time with you brother illness, I understand it is stressful to see someone you love suffer. You can start writing things down, you need to detox your emotions. Think about this, you are a pressure cooker, you put things in, and in , and in and in but the pressure is not coming out. What is going to happen? It will explode! That's exactly what is happening to you, you are feeling all this physical syntoms because your body is trying to get rid of them, your body is trying to tell you something. You are not going to die from a panick attack, trust me, or have you ever heard of some one dieying from it ? I know right now life seems dark an cloudy but I promise you, IT WILL GET BETTER you just need to take it easy, one day at a time. We are here for you

Rlost profile image
Rlost in reply to Tjgg

Thank you so much

Meowmeows2 profile image

I suffer from depression. I would rather break my leg than go through this. I'm on cymbalta for may years and I don't think it help one bit. Actually I'm going to talk to my Dr about changing. I heard you can get a DNA test from GeneSight that tells you what meds work for you. I'm going to ask her about that. I'm a snowbird and am in FL should be having fun and I'm not. I've been depressed for at least a month. When I get like this I can't eat and lost weight then I worry why am I losing, but I know when you don't eat you lose crazy! I've been drinking Ensure to at least get some vitamins. Awful to be these way therefore I can relate to many on this sight.

JAYnLA profile image

I'm using medication currently and seems to be helping - but if you haven't heard of Dr. Claire Weekes, look her up. I downloaded a couple of her audio books and they have been VERY helpful.

Meowmeows2 profile image

Trust me you are not alone. I think people are afraid to talk about it because they think there is a stigma about depression attached, but you need to talk and bring awareness to the problem. Many suffer that don't talk about it. I personally don't think.most doctors understand either. Unless you've been through it yourself. Just my thoughts.

Nervous breakdown >

I'm sorry to hear of your brother, that is difficult for anyone...anxiety or not. I wish him peace and happiness for whatever time he may have left. You should not feel guilty for having life ahead of you where he does not. I think working through those feelings and the stages of grief ahead may warrant a good cause for counseling whether it be with a therapist or maybe someone with a church your affiliated with? Regardless of that, I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety and how difficult it is on a day to day basis. We're all with you there. As much as we want to live a normal life, it just doesn't work that way. Unfortunately for us, those around us are less understanding because anxiety isn't something you can see physically broken bones, etc. No matter how much empathy or sympathy even the closest of friends or family, it seems to give occasionally.

At heart, I think we're all afraid of dying in some context. Especially since we don't discuss it honestly as much as a joke occasionally. It's an uncomfortable conversation. But your belief system promises a peaceful eternity and you should be comforted by that. I'm not God, but I doubt you'll die today, tomorrow, or this week. Your anxious and stressed out. If I had to guess, especially with the situation with your brother, you likely suffer from health anxiety. All of those things you describe are extremely common with anxiety. I personally hate the increase in pulse because we immediately think "heart attack". If you look up the true symptoms of anxiety, the list is literally hundreds of things. The important thing you should know is anxiety is your body's way of protecting you. It assumes you're in trouble. Your pulse increases to prepare for flight (or fight). Where most "normal" people are able to calm down, people like us don't and it can be unbearable. You asked what is anxiety...and I think it boils down to anxiousness over many things: stress, life, faith, responsibilities, and so on. We get caught up, we have to multitask, we stress out about the future, and things we can't control. If you want doctor talk...they'll likely say the chemicals in your brain are imbalanced which is causing your anxiety to increase into anxiety attacks. The medication, depending on what works for you, can be very helpful. Others do great with other methods: mindfulness/meditation, CBT (via therapist....or they have apps...but I'd go with the professional), EMDR (via psychologist...kind of a newer thing), deep breathing techniques, or even exercise. Combine them all and you have yourself a lot in your pocket the next time you feel this way.

We can all relate here. Not eating, crying, and the feelings you're having are perfectly normal. It's important to know, you're okay and a panic attack is not going to kill you. They can't. I don't know everything you're going through, but you sound like you're going through some tough depression and anxiety during a very stressful time. Keep in contact on here so you can get the much needed empathy and sympathy you may not get from others who don't deal with this/can't understand this. Make some appointments and continue on the medication regiment if it's working for you. Be kind to yourself, love yourself, and give yourself a break even if you don't think you're worthy of it. You need to. I've had anxiety for roughly 18 years and I've only learned most of this the last few years after spending several years just using alcohol to numb stress, anxiety, and panic attacks which nearly cost me my life, my job, and my family. I finally quit drinking and, while I'm not 100% today, I'm a little better. It takes work but it's worth it. Talking to a therapist will begin to chip away at that overwhelming feeling you have right now. The medications might do the same......and when you aren't lifting a thousand pounds on your shoulders, things do become easier. I can completely relate with your situation because there are times we are right there at the bottom....all of us. But we get up and keep trying because there is an answer out there and it might be different for every single one of us. Keep your faith, keep praying, try the medication, try something new like yoga or meditation, try to eat, try to be kind to yourself, know that anxiety cannot cause you to perish, and know that you have this place to tell us about the worst and the greatest days. We'll be here. Hang in there and try some of the many great ideas tossed around in here. Many prayers, thoughts, love, and kindness sent your way. I'm sorry you're going through this, especially with your brother's illness, but you will come out of it all....even if it's just a little bit better.

Tjgg profile image
Tjgg in reply to

Beautiful and straight to the point!

Ollyvie profile image

Hello Rlost,

I can understand what you are going through and want you to know that you are not the only one feeling this way. I know it hurt so badly when you can’t shake of the feeling of bring depress and anxious. I know sometimes you have go through a bit of medication before you can get one that best work for you. I understand that that you have tried everything you can, and nothing seem to be working best. Like your brother said don’t give up hope. Just as he is fighting for his life to live you should also keep fighting till things get better. Once there is life there is hope for you. I know you will be thinking of how and when all this will end. God will make a way for you. With God all things are possible. Continue to do everything humanly possible and leave the rest to God to help. Literally drag yourself to do your exercises and anything recommended by your Doctor or Therapist. Read books and listen to podcast and inspirational messages about overcoming depression and anxiety. Keep praying using healing scriptures. It may take a while but don’t give up hope. Be encouraged by these two songs that I love. You are an Overcomer and Stronger ( and . In case you need counseling consultation you call 855-382-5433. Praying and hoping things get better for you.

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