Hi everyone I’m new here and I’m going through a very tough time in my life.
A week ago my fiancé left me. We were together for three years. He proposed to me last April on our anniversary and I was the happiest woman on earth. I live here in Italy and he lives in Germany but the distance wasn’t a problem for us since we saw each other a lot. I would visit him and his family and he would do the same. I thought I found the love of my life. He treated me like his queen, spoiled me a lot not only with material things but he cared for me and he really showed how much he loves me.
3 months after the proposal, he told me he was a Muslim convert. I was a shocked at first and didn’t react well since I come from a very catholic family and was scared about the reaction of my family. But he assured me that he was still the same and I believed him and I didn’t want to lose him so I opened my heart and accepted this. I am not a judgemental person, I was just shocked because he told me he’s a Muslim for a long time. The fact that he lied to me all that time and telling me he was Protestant was a bad move. Because I will still fight for him. My parents accepted him after everything.
After this incident, everything was going fine. I couldn’t be happier. We spent summer together, I stayed in Germany for 2 weeks. And we continued with our life normally. But things started changing last October. We both had problems with internet that’s. Well I had a problem at first and I would stay in school until 7pm just to use the internet so we could talk because I dont want to not communicate with him since we talk everyday when he comes home from work in the afternoon and after dinner. When I got my internet back, he had problems with his internet. It was a very hard time because our communication got lesser and lesser. He was also under pressure at that time since he had exams, work, and some health issues. He started ignoring me and shutting me down for now reason. I was desperate and frustrated since I wasn’t really doing anything. I was asking him what’s wrong and to talk to me because I wanted to be there for him but he would just shut me down and he even wanted time and space for himself because he said that he knows that his behavior is affecting our relationship but he can’t do anything and has to figure out the problem by himself. He was cold to me and I was frustrated and was desperate to get answers said some hurtful things. But I didn’t want to give up and I begged him to stay and work things out (I begged him to get extra mobile data so we could talk it out because through text is had).
Everything seemed fine, he was turning to the old person I knew. He would get extra internet and talk to me everyday again. And I really really appreciate it. We even saw each other last November, which was the last time we saw each other. But things are getting different for me, I was scared that he might do the same things again so I got a little bit paranoid. He was changing again. It’s like he lost attention and he didn’t appreciate me again and didn’t make me feel important anymore. I started talking to him about what’s wrong and everything but he’s not taking me seriously and just putting me in other minds (he told me in the past that he’s not good in confronting a problem) because it was his way so there was this same unsolved problem because he never gave me an explanation and answer on how and why he did that last October). I just didn’t mind it anymore because I don’t want to argue very much and wanted to make things easier for us since I know he hates it when we have arguments.
This started falling apart the last few months of our relationship. We would argue about the same things because they were unsolved. He said he was still the same but I felt that something was wrong and when I try to talk about it, he would get it the wrong way. I have been always honest about my feelings. I told him once that I wasn’t 100% happy anymore but he never did anything about it. I just feel I lost him. It’s like we stopped growing. He’s not the person I used to know. There were times where e had normal and beautiful days and times where we were both moody.
Moving on to the last episode of our relationship, the break up. So just last week he was supposed to visit me and my family after almost a year since whenever he will come some circumstances will just show up and he would cancel the trip so I flew to Germany twice because I really wanted to see him ( he would always pay for my ticket because he said that I should save my money since I’m still a college student). The same thing happened again, he could not fly here because he has something to do with his dad and sister. I understand that but I got angry and frustrated because it’s the 4th time it happened. I didn’t even take one exam because he was coming here and he will tell me this a few days before seeing each other and said that he will just come the week after. I was really disappointed and we fought again. I had mixed emotions and I didn’t know what to think. I said some hurtful things and I’m really sorry about it. We just stopped talking that night.
The next day, when I woke up I didn’t get any message from him. (I temporarily blocked him on WhatsApp and phone so we would just calm down and not text each other) but I didn’t block me on Facebook. He just told me not to block him but I didn’t answer his message anymore since I didn’t want to say more hurtful things because I know it will hurt him more and I will also hurt myself. He even told me he would do everything not to lose me sul lstill find away to communicate with him the night we fought.
He deleted all of his social media accounts including Facebook and Instagram. (He would usually still text me in the morning on Facebook). He wouldn’t connect on WhatsApp anymore (until now) I tried texting him on iMessage calling his number but nothing. I was getting worried and I couldn’t study. I tried texting his mom and his mom told me he was fine and I told her if he can tell him to call me. We talked to each other on FaceTime and told me he broke up with him after all the things but I said last night. I told him how sorry I was and explained but he wouldn’t listen to me. He said he wanted time to think about things and I just told him i said those things out of anger and disappointment. But he wouldn’t listen. He said he just needs one day of not talking to me. I didnt sleep the whole night. The next morning I got his text and told me that he didn’t want the relationship anymore because he feels and sees aim not happy anymore too and there were so many things that happened already. I begged him to call me with a promise that we will talk about everything. It never happened. I was texting him my thoughts and begging him to stay and saying sorry from the bottom of my heart and give me another chance to be a better person and give our relationship a chance again since we are getting married. I poured my whole heart on those messages but nothing. I received an email that his FaceTime I message or WhatsApp is not working (it was weird, very weird). So I finally asked him what’s going to happen. And he just said for him it’s really over and he can’t do it anymore. Period. Not goodbyes no thank you. Nothing. Cold. And I couldn’t reach him anymore. He either blocked me or changed his number.
I feel confused and lost. I didn’t have an explanation why he really left me. He just left me with a text without any closure or whatsoever. I’m blaming myself for everything. I’m just confused how he can say he loves me and the next day leave me. How Cam he throw all the things that we shared together. I’m her confused. And the other day I found out that he made new social media accounts the same day he left me. And tried messaging him there but still blocked my messages. I just wanted closure and explanation. I’m not expecting him to come back anymore because the damage has been done. But I just want answers. I know it’s only been a week but our good memories are holding me to try to move on. He was the perfect boyfriend, we were happy but I just don’t know what happened. I just wanted him to talk to him about what he feels so we could figure it out together. We had plans -kids, house, jobs etc.. after I graduate I was moving there and now I’m lost. I thought love conquers everything. I wouldn’t have never given up on him but why did he give up on us. He would always tell me to be strong and not give up and to be patient. I know he reached his limits but an I not worth it for at least an explanation? He left me hanging. Where were his promises. I just have a lot of questions going through my head and keep blaming myself. We could have talked about it like adults but he refused and just shut me down. I know my mistakes and I’m really sorry for it but am I not worth giving a second chance?
I’m sorry guys for the long post. I hope some of you will help me or give me some advice.