I'm scared...: I'm feeling pretty... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I'm scared...

20 Replies

I'm feeling pretty scared,because I'm moving with my brother from my mom an hour away from her. The moving process has been stressful for my brother,but before that, 2 months ago he had his heart ripped out by a girl who was with him for 4 years. He loved her so much that he honest to God open the car door for her all the time,bring her to out of the blue Christmas lights shows,bought her gifts that were pricey with money he didn't have among alot of other things. I'm not biased even to my family,but he did treat her so well because I was always around them. But she said she also had alot of anxiety and depression,he completely understood her from the get go. But he would give her a lil push to help her get independent,like drivers license,jobs or even fighting off her family who put her down. But in the end she cheated on him and said he was controlling and that she was unhappy with him. Now I know there are two sides to every story and you guys wouldn't there to see everything,but he my brother is an awesome guy. As I'm writing this honest to God I'm crying. Because he just broke down and cried like crazy and fell to the floor. He doesn't have alot of confidence in himself because girls always rejected him. But he doesn't look like a beast or something. He is so broken inside that he just told me before he went to work that I didn't know till now he brakes down and cries at work since the break up 2 months ago. I'm still crying right now and I've prayed so hard. That if I never meet anyone because of my issues fine,but please let my dear brother be happy. Idk what to do anymore but pray. I'm sorry I can't tell my mom all this she because she is an awesome woman but she can get a lil suffocating when we do need our space and he doesn't need to be asked multiple times through the day "are you okay?" Because he shouts obviously I'm not! I pray God hears us. Please. I love you God.

20 Replies
TrustnGod profile image
TrustnGod

I am so sorry to hear about what your brother went through. That is so unfair and he didn’t deserve that. It’s amazing to see how empathetic your heart is and that you’re so affected by this. Continue to pray and keep the faith. Everything will happen in God’s time. Make sure your brother knows that this isn’t his fault and that everything works together for the good of God. This too shall pass and while it all doesn’t make sense now, know that this suffering has a purpose.

I will keep you and your brother in my prayers.

~~Lia

in reply to TrustnGod

Thank you so much, because I don't know what to think anymore. I love God and I'll continue to pray. But seriously thank you

I am so sorry FaithWarrior. This is really bad.

Praying that God will sustain you both through this horrendous time.

Thank God your brother has you.

xXx

in reply to Mary-intussuception

Thank you I really appreciate it. I've been in a dark place with my anxiety and negative thoughts for a long time,I can't call it coping because it really does take a toll battling personal demons everyday, everyone here knows that. And I don't want to see anyone suffer. But seeing my brother who has been strong for me all these years falling into that dark place. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to pull him out. I try with everyone. But I'll pray still and keep praying some more. Whatever it takes! But thank you!

CatIsMyCopilot profile image
CatIsMyCopilot

I understand why it might be scary, but I think your reasons for moving seem good, and at least you'll have each other. A change of scenery may help your brother. Mine had a girlfriend who cheated on him too, and he recently moved to a new apartment. He said it really helped him move on from the bad memories.

in reply to CatIsMyCopilot

I hope so, he deserves to be happy, not broken. He always tries his best whole-heartedly. He is my younger brother but I can't compare to him I'm lower in the ranking. But he deserves happiness. But thank you I really deeply appreciate it. I'm sorry that happened to your brother but that's good he is happy now and moved forward. I pray my brother does to.

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

Sounds like you're brother needs to let her go? I know that's easier said than done? But it will be better for his mental health. Maybe he needs counciling?

in reply to Want2BHappy3

I know, me and my mother have told him maybe you should go talk to a counselor or a pastor,he says talking doesn't work for him. He gets really stubborn. He was doing good for awhile there over the course of two months. He took it very hard in the beginning like the first two weeks he completely shut down and cried while at the same time pissed off. Me and my mom where always there. Then he got better lil by lil he did. But yesterday he broke just like the day this happened honestly. He I guess you could say relapsed. He said he wants to let go,but the memories of her,when they did have good times,which weren't alot. Keep playing on a loop inside his head. He told me if he can rip the memories of her out of his head tie and anchor around it and drop it at the bottom of the sea and never look back, he would. He is in turmoil. But thank you for reaching out, it really shows everyone here cares, thank you.

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to

You're welcome, and we do care, he's seems like he's in so much pain? He needs a distraction? This will pass, it's just going to take time.

in reply to Want2BHappy3

Yea he joined a gym, changed his diet, trying to buy a house but that's also causing him stress though like alot. We keep telling him time heals all wounds. But in his life only up to his mid 20s, he has gone through some very tough situations, and he feels he has always been waiting for things to get better, like fighting one battle till the next. But he is always telling me,when I'm freaking out or obsessing about something, he saids to me "count your blessings,not your thunderstorms" like as in the good in my life. So I'm trying to be strong for him as he was for me. But with my mental issues I feel I fail to help him,I'm not as strong as him and my mother. I'm trying my best but idk if my best is good enough. But I'll try still and pray. I'm trusting God,he hasn't failed me yet. So hopefully this is just another war, we win. I just hope everything and everyone including anyone reading this, that the light shines in our darkness and makes a path to a better future! God Bless!

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to

Maybe as hard as it could be,. You and your mom need to just stand back and support him like you have been. We love our family so much sometimes that we want to Fix whatever's going Wrong, he's going to have to figure this out himself. But time will heal it like you said.

Saraia profile image
Saraia

Hi FW

I'm sorry to hear about your depression and all that has happened to your brother too. I truly hope that God shines his light on you and your family and shows you the pathway out of this hurt and darkness.

Here are some ideas. I hope they help...

1. For yourself. Remember, you are a caring, compassionate, empathic person who deserves all the goodness in this world just as much as the next person. We all make mistakes, and I don't know anyone who hasn't been foolish at sometime of their life and said/ done something stupid on purpose. But what makes us better people are our experiences and are willingness to have faith in the big guy up their (the best of buddies anyone could ever have) and in each other. If we ask for forgiveness with true hearts then God has given a path to redemption. He makes us strong and able. We would not be able to lift a finger without him or breathe or do anything. So we need to be grateful for all we have been given. You and your brother. You wouldn't be who you are if not for the experiences you have been through.

For your brother. Remind him of what he has said to you. "This too shall pass" were the words that were told for good times and bad. To make us humble and have hope and faith respectively. Tell your brother to not try to block his ex out. But to cherish all the good times, and all the blessings he received by being part of her life. Then, reflect on how he can use all he gained to help his and your future. print this out and give it to him if you think he will be receptive. He is smart, intelligent and has his whole life ahead of him. This girl he was with isn't and wasn't good enough for him. God has someone even better in mind. Someone amazing. But that someone will only come in to his and your lives if your hearts are open. God works in mysterious ways. So god has saved him from something by removing her from his life. and yours. by what you say, he would have had a life of debt, partners do not just take and true caring partners refuse the gifts tat they know would cause their partner to become in debt or struggle. I would rather be given a rose from my own garden than to be bought something that the person could not afford.

And for your mum. Tell her that, yes, all this is a struggle, but what has god not blessed us with that was not a greater blessing due to the struggle that came before it. If everything came easy, we wouldn't appreciate it. So thank your mum for all God has blessed you with through her and remind her that she is always going to be part of your lives, that your are not running away. It's a mums job to worry and she will do so whether you tell her everything or nothing. Keep her in the loop without saying everything to her.

You two are getting yourselves your own house. You are standing on your own two feet. Your brother is learning about the importance of not overspending, but being able to support himself and his family. This is readying him for not just another girlfriend. But a soulmate, his wife. and his future children. Think in this positive way and acceptance to the whole situation can happen. Then he will be happy once more. In regards to waiting for things to become good. Look outside... if its sunny, let the beauty of the world bring a smile to your faces. If its raining, imagine the goodness that god is blessing the earth with and all the good that will grow from it. If its windy, think of the advantage to your washing, lol, and how god is spreading his little seeds. You are all in this weather; being blown about until you settle on rich moist soil, where you can grow and pray and become the most beautiful flowers on the inside and out. A tiny seed has the potential to become a mighty tree. Man is said to have the potential to be the best of God's creations. What will you be!

Read this whenever you need to hear these words. May God bless you and your family with true light, understanding, patience and even more goodness. May he nurture you to become greater than you have ever been thus far and overcome all and any obstacles that venture into your lives! Ameen.

in reply to Saraia

I'm really great full that you took the time and wrote me all this. I really do hope your right, that I deserve great things in life. I know my mom and my brother does. I pray and hope everything will be ok, but the what ifs? Or unknown is really scaring me. But yes you really did say such nice things I really do thank you for that. I'm trying to hold onto faith and hope as much as I can. But again thank you! God Bless!

Saraia profile image
Saraia in reply to

We cannot control the future and in some ways that is scary and daunting. But it is also exciting and amazing. It is your choice on how you choose to perceive "anything is around the corner" negatively (and you'll spiral into unproductive chaos that neither helps you or your family), positively (and all will see your true blessed heart-warming nature, and you will be doing as God wishes by helping and supporting others).

You may think me as calm, collected and in control but that's just when I can think. I understand the chaos. I have a condition where I am in pain 24/7 and there is no cure. A lot of the time it prevents me from even thinking clearly and my body won't function so I can't do anything. So if I think, …"oh know, whats around the corner" I won't be helping myself or anyone else around me. I'll just cry and waste away. But look at what a few positive words are able to do for you. This is much more positive and in line with what God would want me to do. Think of others, not just oneself. Like you, for your brother and mum.

The thing it all comes down to is faith. If you believe, I mean TRULY believe, in the following two things. You can get through anything, because you will never stop trying. 1. Life is a test, and God never gives you a test greater than you can handle. The harder the test, the more God wants to reward you, because he loves us all. ...and He will reward us. Maybe in this world, or the next. But the reward will come. And we won't believe our eyes when we see it!

2. God has a plan for everyone, and always does what is best for us. Only in hindsight, maybe many years later, maybe never (in this world), do we realise what Gods plan is. What He has saved us from. What He has protected us from, ...what we truly would not have been able to handle.

Remember, those who fear God do good, and those who Love God, do great!

You can do it!

Good Luck

:)

in reply to Saraia

Thank you so very much this makes me happy! And thank you to everyone here who read my post,took the time to write back and gave me strength and hope when I'm terrified. I read each comment and honestly I teared up or cried, Because I see that people who don't even know me personally is saying the most amazing things, Everyone here is a blessing, I honestly believe that. Because we all suffer with different challenges, and Jesus Christ I believe always gave us strength through them. I know not everyone believes in God, I would never force God on anyone but I believe he is here. All you have to do is turn to him. But thank you! God bless you all!

philoso profile image
philoso

Everything will heal with the time. I can relate this story with me.

in reply to philoso

I know it will. I tell this one metaphor to my brother just to make him smile,the metaphor I tell him is not the greatest, but I say to him that picture that we are in a waiting room and it's taking a long,long, and long time that while where waiting then let's grab a magazine and read it (metaphor like watching marvel movies,funny videos on YouTube, music) and then the door opens and it's bright and a voice says your next come on in and it's Jesus Christ smiling and says I'm glad you waited and didn't leave. Because through this door you will have a better tomorrow I promise you. You know I'd break down and hug Jesus right? lol When I don't know if that's the best metaphor but I'm holding on to that. That door will open from God. Anyway Thank you and God Bless!

philoso profile image
philoso

When he will come out of it he will be more stronger ( mentally). I hope he will recover from this within 3 months. Bcoz generally heart broken people require 6-7 months to recover. Best wishes . The more difficult the battle the more joyful will be the victory. Be positive . God bless all of you.

Saraia profile image
Saraia in reply to philoso

You too hun

in reply to philoso

Thank you for the kind words,they really do help alot. And God bless you too and God bless everyone here, and around the world.

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