The title right there says it all. Whenever try to set some boundaries, I am accused that I get upset over everything. My sister wants to drive around to 4 different places because she wants to celebrate her birthday. I had thought we'd only be driving to two places. The day of it, she then informs me that now, these are the plans. We got into an argument and it ended with me telling her to **** off. Of course because I said that to her, now I will be accused of having an attitude and ruining her birthday. I don't have a car right now, so I'm supposed to just tag along with whoever is driving and do as they dictate. I know whats going to happen now, it's always "Why is she such a *****?" I get talked about and dragged through the mud. It's not my intention to ruin anyone's birthday, I wanted to have a good time too, but all this let's drive here, then go here, now we will go there thing, I would be spending more time sitting in the car than anything else. Now it's all messed up and I take all the blame. Even if I did try to apologize it still wouldn't matter. I'm sorry but I'm not sorry. My family doesn't give a **** about my feelings, so really why should I care what they think. It still hurts though. I feel like I should have known this would happen between me and my sister, I should have seen it coming. Now they all are going to come down on me.
My family loves to gossip and talk **... - Anxiety and Depre...
My family loves to gossip and talk **** about me and I'm sick of it
Does it matter if your sister wants to drive 4 different places on her birthday? You can always opt out if you want. Pick your battles wisely.
Oh not having a go but foul language is forbidden on the HU platform. Could you edit yours please. Thank you.
Don't listen to hypercat. I understand what you're going through. My family doesn't say stuff THAT harsh. But they do have the tendency to talk down at me like I'm some kind of brainless lab rat. But I've learned lately that family or not they're human beings and should be more considerate. How would they like it if you said those things to them? Especially if they're adults they should know better. Now what the idiot person before me said about picking your battles? Ignore it. This is your family we're talking about this isn't just a friend or mean person at school you can easily cut off and never see again. But if what you're saying is true and they really just have no regard for you or your feelings that they would say such things (right in front of you???), then MAKE them care. MAKE them listen. Don't break the law. But put your foot down and let them know that you aren't going to put up with it anymore. Either they start treating you with the respect that you deserve or you will have nothing more to do with them when you turn 18 and move out. And if they decide to ignore you or even worse throw you out. Stay at a friends house, find a homeless shelter, I'll help you if you want. But right now they don't deserve to have you in their family and you don't need them. So stand up for yourself. Get it all off your chest and if they still won't comply then you do whatever you need to do to get away from them and that toxic environment.
Ah I am old and wise enough to know I'm an idiot 😀 You are too wet behind the ears yet to realise you are one too! Have a nice life.
Okay, I'm not on here to cause petty fights between people on here. My situation is more complicated - I sheepishly admit I'm way older than being a teen, I'm a grown adult. I lost my car 2 years ago in a bad car accident and have no money to replace it, and I have no other options than living at my parents house right now. And I do apologize for the language on here- I'm having a really bad day here, to say the least. I do feel bad okay, I really do. It's my sister's birthday and I just lost it with her and I said words I can't take back.
And MasterofDisaster, as you can see from my post you're not the only one to have trouble dealing with family. I appreciate that you're trying to help me. I can't MAKE people do anything, they're going to be who they're going to be.
Hope tomorrow is more peaceful for you
Thanks man, but what can I do now??? Now my mom and my 2 sisters are all at a lake together and they're probably all complaining about me and my terrible behavior. They are coming back to my folks house in an hour to celebrate my sister's birthday. I just get maligned and painted as this terrible person and I'm tired of it. I can't win here no matter what I say.
This is not just going to blow over here. I feel ready to want to commit suicide or something.
Don't do that! If you kill yourself those jerks win. And you do have a choice. I know it's hard but if you are at the point of suicide then you have to get yourself out of there. My close was stuck under an abusive father for years and last year she ran away from home. Now she's living happily after leaving that monster. It wasn't too late for you and it's not too late for you.
Do you have a therapist? Someone you can call.
I know this won't help you right now, but I had this same dysfunctional family. I was never good enough. Talk behind my back and right to my face.
Therapy has helped me a lot. I've learned that I didn't bring this on. There was something in them causing their behaviors. It wasn't about me at all.
What they are doing is damaging and you don't deserve to be treated that way.
I'm sorry you are in such pain
Not sure ...family dynamics are complicated..I’m exactly the same about having to rely on someone for a ride especially family...being trapped in a car 😳....maybe just try and salvage something out of today when they come back just suffer it for the duration.of the day .....Even apology for telling her to Fock off on her birthday?.. excuse my French.
Thanks everyone for trying to be helpful. I could try to apologize. I feel awful about the whole stupid thing. As Taylor Swift would say, they're burning all the witches even if you aren't one. I feel like nothing I can say or do will make it right.
And I apologize again for the swearing.
I'm ready to sing All Apologies by Kurt Cobain.
Okay, I'm actually laughing now. I know I'm too serious. The administrator on here is warning me about my inappropriate swearing. Uggh.
I'm not an admin G but don't want you to get b******** by them if someone reports it. We all get very hacked off at times and from what you say you have got good cause. Why can families be so difficult?
Nor me Googoodollsfan14. I gave you an honest opinion and I hope you accepted it that way. I was giving you a nods up about the swearing in the hope that admin don't have a go at you about it. Many thanks for your edits.
You are in a difficult position at the moment and it can't be easy having to go back to your parents at this stage in your life. Are you currently working?
You don't have to take crap from your family either.
Hope everything calms down soon. Youre not a bad person. lts just we all can feel hurt by one another. And we all get emotional at times. Its all really understandable. No one likes feeling manipulated and taken for granted so its understandable you got frustrated. And your sis likely didnt even know thats how you felt as she was so focused on trying to be positive. We just all get caught in our own lil' world sometimes. Youre not bad and neither is your sis and family. I hope everything gets calmer soon.
If they aren't paying your bills who cares? Is none of your business what others think of you. Don't let them control your feelings.
I hope you're feeling better.
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