I caught Sister's sickness and right now i'm really sick. Mom suggested to take me home because i'm sick. I thought about it all night. I had nightmares after nightmares about home, about dad, about dad neglecting me for stepmother and the kid, i even woke up several times and saw i'm still in the hotel, once i even woke and saw my home - probably got a sleep delir or hallucination. I have never had hallucinations. I hope it was just a fever. At the end i'm going home because i can't move, i can't buy myself food and because mom's birthday is Monday. My sister is being unfriendly towards me and i think she doesn't want me there but i adore her and just want to protect her. Why doesn't she understand that? I love her so much and she's annoyed from me and this makes me anxious. I want to play with her like we used to. I miss it. I will see Bob the rabbit.
I'm going insane from anxiety but what holds me is the kindness i get online, here, from yesterday's international volunteers hangout. They were so kind. I was the only bulgarian but that's better. Also the kindness from here. It's keeping me alive.
