I'm not at home and panicing what is going on there. Losing my mind. Thinking i will go back

[Against_the_current]

I'm going insane. I paniced about my sister and whether they traumatized her and whether she wants me home so i texted her hours ago, she didn't answer, so i kept on panicing, i called her, she was talking a pathetic, i thought she's depressed and paniced, called mom and now i'm worried i bothered mom at work and mom's gonna scold sis and sis is gonna be mad at me and my panic. I also called granma and dad and they both asked me when i'm starting a job. I wish my family understood i'm mentally ill and i just need some support, not actions, nor them getting worried, investigating it, telling me to work when i'm scared to breathe. I just need reassurance. I'm panicing because i'm not there. Dad escaped, i escaped. I'm going back Tommorrow, i can't. But here it's paradite and i'm still panicing and having nightmares every single night. I'm going insane and i need someone to understand and support me

[TrustYourSoul]

Your sister seems capable of handling things, per your previous posts. Since your family seems to keep you in "panic mode", even though you live on your own, have you ever thought about just not calling or seeing them for a while? Just be on your own and start trying to improve with other things to focus on? Your "family" seems to keep you upset. Maybe ignoring them for a while would help you, and tell them you will not be communicating with them for a while because they keep you upset? They know your phone number if there was an emergency of some sort. Take a "vacation" from your Family. You might be surprised how much better you will feel. Then, keep busy with plenty of other things. Staying busy is a great way to push anxiety to the side.

[Against_the_current in reply to TrustYourSoul]

I think i need to go, make sure everything is okay, and come back and take vacation from them. The thing is i don't feel like a vacation, i feel like a refuge. And i don't have what to distract me. I just stay home thinking. It's not like a vacation having pool and activities, maybe i need a job, i don't even know

[Experiment1982739903]

I understand you feel frustrated from not being heard by people around you including your family. Keep writing to let it off your chest. Deep breaths

[Against_the_current in reply to Experiment1982739903]

Thank you so much for understanding

[TrustYourSoul]

You are doing pretty well, knowing you need a "vacation" from your family for a while. I am proud of you! You don't have to go someplace exotic for a "vacation". Some of the best ones are right where you live.... nearby parks, the swing (I remember your wonderful post about the swing and the dog you met😊), talking with kids in the park, doing a puzzle, watching movies and microwaving popcorn, buying a coloring book and crayons or markers.... anything you can do that is creative and pleasant is a great escape/vacation.

The key is to be short (just a sentence or two from you), and Honest when you tell ALL family members that you need a break from dealing with family issues, and when you return from your break, you expect them to have their act together. If you can tell them on a short text, that would be best. They all need to know that you are choosing to put yourself First for a change, and step away from family drama until you can relax and breathe easier. You WILL make it! You are stronger than you believe. You are an Awesome person!!! 💜🙇‍♀️

[Against_the_current in reply to TrustYourSoul]

Thank you so much. Beautifully described how to take a break. My family re doesn't understand - now are asking me when i'm starting a job and meanwhile i'm worried what is going on home and i'm also not wanting to miss out an opportunity for a break here

[TrustYourSoul]

So, what are you deciding to do? Tell them ALL that you need a break and take that "Vacation"?

[Against_the_current in reply to TrustYourSoul]

I'm at home and panicing the hell out of myself

[TrustYourSoul]

What is there to panic about??

[Against_the_current in reply to TrustYourSoul]

New day, new thing. Mostly should i stay or should i go, is mom okay, is sis okay, can i do this, is mom mad for something, If she's not should i stay here

[TrustYourSoul]

The people you keep "panicking" about, are all old enough to take care of themselves! PLEASE keep saying this out loud to yourself, and stop needlessly panicking about them. There is NO good reason to do this to yourself, when you should be using your energy on building Your Own Life. Remember, they are all capable of caring for themselves. Just let them live their own lives, so you can live YOUR OWN life. I have no more words for you. I have tried. It's all up to You. Good luck.🙇‍♀️

[Against_the_current in reply to TrustYourSoul]

Actually i really love to use this as affirmation "They can take care of themselves. I should not worry about them".

[TrustYourSoul]

Yes!!! So Stop Panicking, leave them be, and start living Your life! 🙇‍♀️💜

[TrustYourSoul]

...And... you would sure feel empowered if you told every family member that you are THROUGH "panicking" and "worrying" about them because as far as you're concerned, they are all old enough, and capable of taking care of themselves! Stand TALL. Be firm. Be healed. 🙇‍♀️