My thoughts at the moment

I feel really angry about SO many things right now, feeling ready to explode. And I know no one wants to hear it. I appreciate this website, I truly do. Forgive me if I seem to be venting and rambling on. I do not know what the answers are to all the mayhem going on in this world as we speak. Chaos is the new normal now. And I have so much just pure hatred towards Donald Trump. Do people who work as the police really even want to follow his orders??? I'm no good to be around, I just want to spew venom. I'm sure now some crazy Trump supporter is going to come on here and tell me what a fine job our moron-as-President is doing. Just bring it on. Who gives a damn??? That's where I am right now. I don't know why I'm alive at the moment. I wish I was dead. Nothing ever gets better in my life, things just get worse. No one cares. Can't keep taking shit from people. I'm contemplating trying to get a gun so I can kill myself. No one else, I'm really not violent, just me. I don't want to talk to people, I'd just get locked up and drugged up. People say to get help, WHAT help???? Seems like no one's life matters to anyone these days. Everyone is disposable and replaceable. I'd like to believe that one person can change something about the world. I'd like to believe I matter. Reality though, I don't matter to anyone. Bet my family would be grateful that a burden like me is out of the picture. Nothing I do is ever good enough. I just get yelled and screamed at for lying in bed too much and get told I'm a spoiled brat. If you bothered to read this, thank you at least for reading this far.

[Hidden]

I hear you! Everything sucks right now. And I hate trump too, like I’ve never hated anyone before. (Not to mention, his supporters...) On an almost daily basis, I’m struggling to get through. My kids live 2000 miles away, my partner is “less than emotionally available,” my 81 yr. old Alzheimer’s father lives with me, etc., etc. I have too many people (and animals) who need me, so I cannot off myself. I just want to run away. I feel trapped.

tl:dr You are not alone.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hey, I'm sorry about you're situation too. My anxiety is so ramped up. I'm doing somewhat better now, I walked to a park by where I live, but some of those feelings are still there.

[blackcat64013]

Phew! What a post. If you can't change the world, you can try to think differently about it. Admittedly if you are in the USA, it would be much more difficult with so much happening around you.

All the best from Australia 🐨

[Hidden in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you. I know I shouldn't have written what I did. I'm a little too damn honest. I'm at a park now trying to keep it together.

[Kat_21]

I care about you.

I support trump, but that doesn't make me dislike you. I think you're really brave coming on here to vent. I lay in bed a lot too, and it makes me feel bad because my son doesn't understand. But that's okay. One day I'll be better, just like you will be.

And it does seem like there's not a lot of help for people like us. That's why we have to be here for each other. Please stay strong. I know it's not much, but I'm here. You can message me any time. 🙂

[Hidden]

Wow is all I can say. Do you at least feel better to have typed it out?

Just remember that the only person you can control is you. Yes it's maddening what is going on in the world, but if you really think about it, what can you as an individual do about it? You're being mad won't make it any better. People will act how they act. Making your blood boil about all the sh*t that is happening will just make you crazy.

I'm sorry you're in a bad place and hope it gets better soon. I see from one of your replies that you went for a walk? That's great! I walk as well when I feel overwhelmed. I get in my own way a lot of the time, so walking helps clear my head.

Please call for help about the urge to kill yourself, okay?