When I keep things light and make jokes and listen to how others people's lives are going, I can have a steady stream of friends. And some of them will give me compliments about what a great friend I am. But whenever I try to turn that around and reveal something rough that I'm going through, a lot of times you can just hear the crickets chirping. I'm not out to drain people or burden them with my problems, a lot of times I'm not expecting anyone to have any kind of answer or advice for me or to be able to fix anything for me, but it would just be nice to hear something like- I feel bad for what youre going through, and I care. Why is something like that so hard for a lot of people to say??? I just don't understand that. And for me it feels like no one would ever really want to get to know me unless I'm constantly this false self and plaster on a smile and laugh and joke and listen and be positive but don't dare get real and never let anyone know about what's really going on with me because they will run for the hills. There is some stupid saying out there that goes Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. I'd like to sucker punch whoever came up with that one. So many people go through so much that they never talk about because no one likes to have someone else say they are being weak or snap at them that I don't have time for your problems. I feel like I am just this strange girl where silence is really my only friend. If I'm silent then I'm not rocking the boat.
My darkness is too much for most people - Anxiety and Depre...
My darkness is too much for most people
I can relate. I hope that you can find a real friend or someone to talk with. I'm looking for that also.
I'm here if you need someone to vent, you can message me.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Anytime you need someone to listen to you, I'm here. Just message me and I'll listen and offer any advice I can.
Thank you.
No problem. Stay Irie, One love.
I wrote a reply to everyone at the end of this. This outpouring of support is just amazing. What does Stay Irie mean?
Rastafari for good vibes or peace
I’d say keep trying. There’s plenty of people on here posting pain and suffering who get responses. I’m sorry you aren’t getting the support you need. Hang in there and keep posting.
I can relate, unfortunately. It's sad that people are so wrapped up into their own crud that they can't seem to listen to someone and really take in their issues and give good feedback. I don't understand people. This is why I have no friends. Oh well.
💚💚💚
From one strange grrrl to another, sending u a hug!
Yes you do have friends. I am one of them Elli!
😊
Aweee 🥰
Really you have no friends, I thought I was your friend. Well then I'll just go sit in the corner and have a tequila pop.
Haha you are ☺️ I meant friends that I actually interact with. I don't really have friends that I hang with
That's their loss, you're awesome and I'd definitely hangout with ya
Thank you!!! 🤗🥰♥️
You're welcome. One love, Rastafari
Sometimes strange can be beautiful. ☺
They might not know what to say bc they are insecure with their own problems. Their reaction might be misinterpreted. Also, if you have problems you are going through only share with people who will be there for you. I only share w my closest friends. Choose your friends carefully too. Learn to weed out the ones who seem to have no sympathy or are not real
I have a number of friends but only 2 who get it. I don't talk about it to others or if it comes up in conversation sometimes mention I have depression but keep it light and in context. Sometimes you then find out they suffer from it too and you can share. Keep a close eye on social clues.
I completely understand what you’re saying - it’s a crappy world. Thinking that’s what this site helps us overcome. Always nice to hear I’m not alone in my thoughts
Time to take that mask off sweety. If people can't accept you as much during the good times as the hard times, they aren't true friends. We cannot heal if we keep pretending that we aren't hurt. Those who care about you can hear you when you are quiet! And trust me, you deserve to have true friends that are going to walk with you in the dark, not just in the light. Hugs
I know what you’re going through, Anyone that’s going through what You are? I always say Don’t talk to family and friends what you’re going through. They Don’t want to hear it cause they can’t relate just want it to go away. I’ve been isolated because of it. So I pretend that everything’s Fine. That’s what you’re going to have to do if you want a relationship with anyone. Sorry 😞😷🙏
I'm also in agreement. It's hard to dump this on your family. I've recently got a counselor and that has been HUGE!!! It's a place to express, dump, sort through and hopefully find more tools to deal with my crap.
I’m SO HAPPY for You, Please don’t HESITATE to change councilors if You feel he/she is Not looking out for YOUR BEST interest. You deserve the BEST. We’re here for Each other. Let us know how your doing, We Care😷🙏
Hi Doll, I have found this to be true also. My Dad used to say that quote to me as a melancholy, sensitive child with chronic hurt feelings. I thought it was an awful saying and deeply resented it. But past the teenage years, I have found that most people really dislike my "opening up." This has been a social deal breaker and it is unfortunate because my Mom, who is really crazy and not in a good way, raised me and my siblings going from one "new age" cult group to the next where we were taught to "Let it all hang out." This socially crippled me until recently actually. Now that I see that, I reserve most of my darkest feelings for my journal, prayer, and anonymous dumping (as in here, lol!). I think at heart, most people are just as freaked out by life as we are, they just don't want to talk about it or be reminded of it. The other thing I have started to do very recently, in addition to trying to exercise the angst down to a tamer level, is to read poetry and try to do "culture therapy" on myself by using art to get some reflection and understanding of my emotions in a larger, more universal perspective. None of us are really unique in these feelings; we all have them. It more depends on what we do with them that defines the quality of our mental health from week to week. It is truly a struggle. Don't give up! I hope you find something that will lift your soul this week.
Thank you. Nice to hear from you again.☺
Thank you Elishe.....your well thought out reply helped me as well
Don’t HESITATE or Feel GUILTY for dumping on US here. DUMP AWAY, My Friend😷🙏
Sounds like you don't have a good support system , or you delusional an how your friends see you... I think you need to figure that out first to fix any thing... Can't rain all the time.... I wish you the very best.. A good support system is essential !!! Have a happy day ♥♥
I get this after the death of my son...who my friends really were became very clear.....i was always their ear. Their shoulder. Their free therapist...then when I could no longer be that for them due to traumatic grief. PTSD depression and horrible anxiety.. Poof....gone.... I now find support from other grieving moms who get it............maybe you could try searching for support groups of others in your similar situation....
I’m sorry for your loss. Stay strong. ❤️
I can relate so much... I’m honestly that
person everyone runs too.. I can give advise and I’m a great listener.. but I can’t help myself? & I feel the same way... I don’t want anyone to give me advise or even help... just someone to listen... hear me out... anything.. 😕
Hi there! I too can relate. I’ll be 70 soon and have felt that way most of my adult life. It’s sad and your post hurt my heart. Please know you can share here without judgment, the short time I’ve been on this forum I can say it’s a safe place.
OMG you hit it on the head!! That is exactly how I feel and I have in fact lost "friends" who I thought cared about me. It's hard letting people see that side and when you think you've established your friendship to a trusting point only to be dropped - it hurts. It also makes me questions my judgement and then of course I feel like a failure for not judging that person correctly. Either way it just sucks and reminds me to stay guarded. I feel your pain.
We continue to attract those type of people because they are familiar to us. For example if you had an abusive upbringing, being yelled at and treated less would be familiar to us and our minds love what it familiar even if it's not good for us. We put up with so much crap because we are programmed to. You will continue to attract this type of person until you learn the lesson behind it. The lesson is you don't need them. You are capable of healing yourself. You don't need their help doing this. Is it nice when people compliment you and appreciate you? Of course it is! Unfortunately we bend over backwards until we are broken helping them feel better so we can get that feeling of appreciation. Give it to yourself. Take back your power and use it for you. Bend over backwards to help yourself. Compliment yourself! Believe in yourself! Trust yourself!
I am in very much the same place as you are and I’m 62 it’s lonely.....I’m going to read the advice given you and might open up on my trauma here. I too, have no one who is interested in listening
well you've come to the right place, I am always here to support you and if you wanna talk, i'll listen and help you out in anyway i can. Fuck the people who aren't supportive! they don't deserve you anyway, i bet you're a great person and you'll find plenty of people here that can support you- bet. Take care! xx
Don't ever be afraid to rock the boat! Sometimes you need to flip it! I'm here if you want to talk about whatever you want to talk about
Hi- I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you can find a real friend that you can talk to and trust with your feelings.
I found my friends in my life group. It’s good to be surrounded with people who will encourage us when times are tough. We pray together and we also learn from each other. If you are interested in joining a life group, you can connect with your local church. In my experience, it’s very helpful knowing that I am not alone especially now that we are at this pandemic time.
Take care. Please keep us posted, God bless.
Wow, this is just overwhelming!!! I thought I might get one or two replies and that would be it. It's really nice to see people come together like this online and be supportive to each other. I would respond to all of you individually but it would just take me forever. You're all shining stars yourselves. I guess sometimes you don't really cry alone, not with great people like you in the world!!! Thank you all so much. A better saying I'd like to leave you all with is Never let life dull your sparkle!!!!!!💖💖💖💖💖
I don't have any friends for this same reason. As soon as things got rough for me, they left. But that's okay, I'm a good person and they didn't deserve me. Same goes for you. Lately, it seems it's taboo to talk about personal issues. Social media has made people expect a constant positive environment and it's just not how life is.
When I was sick, I had no support from 'friends'. It's sad but it's life.
I'm here if you need a friend though. We're all in this together on here. I really hate you're having to go through this.
But never pretend for people to like you. It's better to be alone and true to yourself, than to be fake and surrounded by people.
i am going through this as well 
I am sorry you are as well.... I have a friend (says she is my best friend) who if I say anything negative or down, instantly changed the subject to something else light and fun..... I can say I feel bad for what you are going through, and I do care. Hugs your way.
I relate to your post and I bet a lot of people do.
I can't offer a solution but I can empathise totally, the mantra "laugh and the world laughs with you..." is in my head constantly.
I have very few friends, mainly because I have cut myself off from people who just take.
The last time I walked away from a group of friends because I was seeing one of them and he punched me in the face. No one in the group cared, or that's how it seemed and as it was 3 years ago now and as I'm still out of the loop I guess I was right. But after that I had some counselling and it REALLY helped. I'm 54 now, and I wish I'd sought help years ago.
If that's a route you can take I would highly recommend it.
Good luck x
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