I feel so Angry and Sad. I don’t have kids and am made to feel incomplete because of people and there comments constantly. I don’t see why I should explain my life story to anyone. Each time it’s like another dagger opening a wound.
Is there anyone else going through this?
It’s so hard, as there is no one that talks about this.
We are constantly getting bombarded on tv with baby news or how it’s like to be a Mother. Why does no one support us and our mental well being, we are made to feel alienated.
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NothingReallyMatters
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Hi NothingreallyMatters, I can relate to how your feeling. I’m 49 and couldn’t have kids. When I was 40 I had IVF which didn’t work so that was the moment I realized that I wouldn’t be a Mother. It still makes me tear up if I really think about it. I would agree that people make me feel incomplete because I don’t have kids. I’ve been dealing with this for 9 years so it’s a little less hurtful now but like I said if I am alone and really think about it I will end up crying. I end up feeling like a pathetic woman that is a loser. It gets old.... and your right no one talks about this topic. I have people that I know that couldn’t have kids but they never speak of it. I’m overly emotional and need to accept it fully. My depression issue doesn’t help either. I kind of believe that I’m being punished by god in someway by being infertile. I know that’s not true but why did it have to happen to me. I also believe my depression was in some way caused by the great sadness I have for being kidless. But, yes people are extremely rude and condescending to me- like I’m not a whole woman because of this. It’s to the point where I don’t talk about it at all and just ignore the ignorant comments. Hang in there and take care!
Everything you have said is how I feel. I do question constantly why me, why...Dealing with this and the sly comments from people make me just want to give up I totally get my depression is from this. I wish I could get help or be hypnotised to forget the constant pain I feel. I appreciate you sharing your story with me x
Hi,
I don't have children because I was not able to. I was having too many miscarriages and a problem was found. Yes it was devastating & physically and emotionally painful news at first however I was able to heal through it and realize that I was to follow another path in life. I'm happy on that path and my path was to work with kids in another needed way.
There are always options if you really want a child.
There are so many in need although I do understand the wanting of your own.
If people are saying rude things to you then they are toxic to you and I would definitely say something because that certainly hurts. If they keep it up then I'd have to cut them off as friends. I don't want friends like that in my life. 🌞
Thank you Leeza. I have deleted many toxic friends and I feel better for it.
But I don’t know how to respond back in that instance someone says something to me. I’m so shocked that they would say something hurtful when I wouldn’t dream of being like that.
So wish more celebrities or someone started a help group or charity to discuss this it’s just so lonely....x
Id like to help you, but first Id like to know, did you actually want kids or couldn't have them? And people are so rude and YOUR LIFE is not up for their JUDGMENT or COMMENTS. It is NON of their BIZ what you do or can't do. Things are the way they are meant to be. If you actually want kids (or did) I have some great tips but if not, NO ONE has the right to judge you. I would tell these people that 1. You don't BELEIVE like they do and that 2. EVERYONE is different and if they cant handle that, they need t go eat with the pigs!
I always thought in my life I’d meet someone and have kids, time flew without a thought.
Then the unimaginable happened. I had a tumour so huge it took over my whole womb and more, a traumatic experience. I thought I would die, many did. It was benign but cut the option or a choice of a child.
So dealing with that and then seeing family and friends having children made me feel nothing but jealousy. Not that everyone’s life is perfect but I felt at a total loss to what I don’t have and still find it so hard to accept x
Hi NothingReallyMatters, I know it is hard to accept. So many things in my life are too. But it is necessary to move on.
Have you thought about....
1. Adopting?
2. Fostering?
3. Sponsoring a child through the foster system (you get to send them monthly support (it's a very small amount) and go shopping for them and give them gifts and help out a lil more financially during Bdays and Christmas.) I think you get to meet them too.
4. Sponsoring through Save the Children? Again, as above. You actually can go visit your child, as well!
I know the first two are hard to come by. Adopting is expensive and you must meet requirements for fostering but with the latter two......
…...You can still have " a child of your own" through these ways. A child you get pictures of, get to brag about, etc, Plus you are helping out a child!
I actually sponsor a beautiful little girl named Grace through Save the Children. She is in the Smoky Mountains of Tn where I grew up. I love her as my own. And get to brag about her. I send her gifts, cards and letters and she sends pictures she has colored.
Maybe you can try some of these! Also, maybe working at a daycare or school where they are all your kids would help with that void, IDK. I have worked at a daycare and it is very joyous! You really care for the kiddos as your own.
I hope you can somehow fill that void. Remember, not every child is by blood. They can still be your child, no matter what. If you love them, then they are yours! ; )
Most people assume what we should be in order to be happy. The fact is, there are women out there who actually choose a very different path by choice.
Most parents don't consider their children what they might have to go through in life. Children don't have a say before they are born. If they did, the World would probably be a happier place.
Children are adorable, but people shouldn't have kids just because they could. A woman can always adopt the ones who have been abandoned, if she so wants to.
Yes there are celebrities going through this as well. Jennifer Aniston says,
"We don't need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own 'happily ever after' for ourselves." Good on her.
Next time, just tell them rude ones politely, "It's my life. I cannot live your life for you." How's that ?
I know your words are so true. I find it hard to accept what happened to me. I’m a shy person and never thought people could in fact be so cruel to me. I really should learn to answer back more.
I know there are a few celebrities that don’t have children but it’s a hard topic to discuss, and not many want to talk about it x
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This is it now 
How is this fair?
I feel like I need help and I have no one to talk to
I feel like I am the only one going through this 
