I don't understand what's going on..

[Keylink]

I try to be the best person I can be to my friends and co-workers..

At work, almost everyone seems to not want to talk to me or want to work with me.. and I'm pretty sure my team lead knows and I can see that he would find it funny due to my kind of personality. I have no idea how I'd describe my personality but I'm a gamer, I don't go out too often and I don't really watch movies or shows that everyone else seems to watch. I get so criticized for that and I don't understand why.

My friends though, they 'seem' to like me, but don't often include me in a lot of things. I play games with them almost every night and we seem to have some fun except when one of us are not. They don't seem to be concerned about me being depressed or would want to help me out with my depression.

I felt like I just had a mental breakdown not too long ago tonight when I had some trouble in a game we were playing. I literally shut the game off and my computer down and stormed out of the room and to my bedroom and lied down for a bit. I didn't have the motivation to do anything at all, and it was super strange to me because I am normally a really really calm guy. I don't normally stress about ANYTHING and this doesn't even feel like stress.

I do live alone, so maybe I'm lonely.. I really... REALLY don't know what's going on with me.. I have no idea where to turn and I have never even heard of this site before

[Agora1]

Hi Keylink, Welcome to the site you never heard of before. This is your

lucky day. Something or someone made you stop and sign up. This might

be the best thing you could have done for yourself. I'm glad to welcome you

here. We are a group of men and women of all ages with all kinds of issues

regarding mental health. You are not alone. Together, we help support each

other as we can all understand what it's like to feel depressed and/or anxious.

You just took a very important first step. xx

[Starrlight]

Welcome, Keylink!

[HappyGirl22]

Hello 👋

Im new here too. First of all you can't please anyone, so you do you whatever makes you feel right.

Maybe try out something new? Go out with friends and try something you've never done before that would keep your mind of things and you'll enjoy?

Being lonely at home I'm sure does get boring or try to include your friends in on some video games maybe they'll enjoy it as well. Doesn't hurt to try 😊

Sending nothing but positive vibes your way 😁

[Hidden]

👋

[TailWags]

I have felt the same wsy. I have worked at my current job almost 14 years and still often feel like an outsider. I have friends that I have known since the 80s and often feel like an outsider with them too. Part of me feels like they dont like me as much as the other people, but part of me feels this is just a distorted view i have due to depression. Thats what depression does. It makes things look different to you than they do to other people. If you have to, write down the facts and evidence of if they really like you or not. I have also tried looking at the situation as if it were someone else in my position. Would it look different if i saw someone else in the same situation i was in? If i do that objectively and honestly, i find i am harder on myself than other people. From what you said, you are still friends with these people. You still do games together. They must enjoybyour company some.

As far as work goes, at least around here, companies hace gotten much more demanding and money focused over the last 10 or 20 years. There is more stress and less.human compassion in the work place. Companies push hard to squeeze as much as they can out of all their resources, including people. Now days everyone is at least a little messed up about their job. Most people i know no longer enjoy their work. I decided i just have to take my job as what it is. A source of income and health insurance. There are a variety of people and none of them are terribly thrilled to be there. But they have to work to survive. It is not a situation conducive to normal human interaction. So take evetything there with a grain of salt.

This has gotten way too long so i best sign off. Take csre. Try to be objective and fair about your sitiation.

Take care.

[Tara52]

I have gone through these things too. Did you suffer any childhood trauma, bullying, rejection or neglect? When we were not able to express our emotions when we were hurt, later they come out in ways that have nothing to do with the current situation. People think we're crazy and we feel crazy but there just feelings stored up from the past. Journaling helps get them out of yourself so you are not carrying around excess emotional baggage.