My birthday is coming and I don't want to celebrate

[paintingwords]

So my birthday is in about a week. And it's giving me some stress. I live in a university. The extra attention is weird. Also, since the social norms dictate, I know my friends will organise a party because "I'll be expecting something". But I've decided that I don't like birthdays. They are a great opportunity to have expectations and be disappointed. I have had some really bad experiences in the past. So I've decided if people wanna show me how much they love, just do it randomly sometime with sweet gestures here n there.

So I just texted my closest friends to not organise anything. I don't want that stress. I hope they listen to me. I also plan to switch my phone off, well I could be in the mountains where there is no network right. So I won't know who called who didn't, and I'll be happy. Anyway it's end of University for me and am working hard to keep up my grades. So I don't need distractions.

Thoughts? Say it if I sound stupid to you?

[Starrlight]

I think your ideas and decisions are brilliant, just like I usually feel 😆 bestvtonyou always ❤️

[Hidden]

You are in University! You should celebrate, okay with that said When you get much older you don't want anyone to remember lol. Now, big celebration, party, hmmm. If you don't like that attention, maybe something smaller, quieter, intimate. You definitely don't want anyone not to remember, not to aknowledge your day. Make sure you get that across too. I wanted my birthday to be known and recognized however these days, I keep it on the down low lol, seriously. Happy pre birthday

[Lulububs]

I know exactly how u feel i have suffered anxiety for about 30 years and any big event be it birthday, weddings, parties send me into a complete head spin!!!

I get so anxious it can spoil things.

I am now 45 and realised i spent the best years of my life hiding and losing friends and just generally worrying about things i shouldnt....

I know it hard!

I speak from experience and tell u to get out there and enjoy ur friends and family and young life or ur get to my age and have SO MANY REGRETS...

Why didnt i go to my friends wedding , why didnt i got to that 40th... it goes on and on.

Im lucky in fact that i have a good job , partner, friends and family and am having another stab at being a teenager and really enjoying myself and im not allowing any anxiety get me anymore.

U live one life! LIVE IT

[hypercat54]

Cor I wish I had friends who were willing to organise a special day for me! x

[jkl5500]

I know I'm in the minority on this view, but I never made a big deal about birthdays. I can understand it when you're very young, very old, or it's a "milestone" birthday (like 21, the 0's, or 65), but if you were 37 and now you're 38, my response is "Well, whoop-de-do!! Do you want a medal? " After all, every day is somebody's birthday.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

Count me in.

[Jonesie123]

The random gesture is a cool thing, sentiment is better when it's 1 to 1 anyway. I don't do birthdays for the same reasons you mention - expectations and attention...I try to send my mother some flowers as a thank you though!

[crazychkinwa59]

you sound sad.but also self centered to not appreciate the people that want to celebarate you. Sorry, you asked!

[paintingwords in reply to crazychkinwa59]

So am self centered to wanting reduce the massive anxiety I experience in daily life because people want to celebrate something that they are expected to, and may be wouldn't even do it if the social pressure to "have fun on birthdays" wasn't so high?

As I said I have had bad birthday experiences. I know this sounds like running away but I just want things as predictable and peaceful as possible.

[Hidden]

Hey 👋🏽 thanks for sharing your worries on here 😊 It can be scary sometimes because you don’t want to be judged.

I understand where you’re coming from.. attention is not something that everyone is comfortable with. Its your birthday and you don’t want to spend it being uncomfortable and anxious and you have the right to decide that for yourself. I’m sure the build up to it is making you even more anxious.

I had to firmly explain to my family and friends that I don’t deal well with surprises and they understood thankfully and know I need to be prepared for social situations.

I really hope it goes well for you and your friends understand your feelings. Don’t forget to treat yourself to something lovely that YOU enjoy 😊

[Bebop2071]

I love birthday parties, even though I don't care too much for getting any older since my body agrees with age less and less. 😂

I know it can be hard sometimes, but if you've got friends who care about you enough to throw you a party, enjoy it. Especially if you're still in Uni. When you get older and you and your friends get married, have kids and whatnot it's nearly impossible to get together with everyone. So I'd tell you to treasure this time.

Even though I'm much more of a homebody these days, if I had to choose any distraction it'd definitely be a party with close friends.

Btw... Happy birthday! 🎂