Depressed. I tell my doctor, I tell my husband I’m in a bad place but they don’t have much to say and I feel like I’m no good. They don’t reach to help me when I reach out to them. I’m so disappointed that it seems I mean little. I want to disappear.
Feeling alone: Depressed. I tell my... - Anxiety and Depre...
Feeling alone
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Starrlight
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127 Replies
•
Everybody is down and feeling low, hard to give comfort when feeling so low
Starrlight• in reply to
If my husband or friend came to me even if I was low myself I would do all I could for them and I deserve better than this. This place is letting me down as well.
• in reply toStarrlight
I feel for you and think everyone should try their best in this situation, cheer one up, smile -doesn’t cost a thing but makes someone’s day
Starrlight• in reply to
I do get that.
Sorry Starlight. I know that feeling all too well. Ive gotten to the point that when people ask me how Im doing, I just say "Good Enough " theydont even care theyjust say oh. Good enough to do what you want or need so thats good enough. I only try talking to depressed folks of the same mind. Anyways, Im always here to listen. Sorry you are hurting
Thanks and I’m sorry you are hurting too. Things will get better.
Same or I just don’t tell anyone anymore how I feel, which I know is probably not good.
I’ll be happy to listen... yeah not good to bottle it up.
Thank you
No thats a shame but I get it. Im ready to shutdown myself.
Don’t shut down, I know it’s hard trust me.
Everytime I try, Im misunderstood then abandoned. Soo tired
I hear you. Very tiring. Let’s go easy on ourselves and maybe something will lift.
Good way to say it... shutdown... that’s exactly how I feel...
Hi starlight sorry you going through all this. Just like me iam also depressed and I can’t tell nobody either my husband doesn’t care and I don’t want to tell my parents either because I don’t want to worry them and I don’t want to tell my daughters either because I don’t want them to worry either so everyday I have to put a fake smile on me when I don’t feel good anxiety’ depressed’ scared’ negative thoughts and so on I can’t tell any one how I feel because i also think they are going to think iam like crazy I understand you as iam not in a good place right now either but I keep on fighting everyday hope you feel better
Yes we keep fighting through don’t we...and I’m cheering you on... we are strong even when we are at the end allowing ourselves to be feeling weak but it’s okay because we will eventually get back up turn around and help others and become stronger than ever.
Starlight, even though you are feeling low, you still reach out to cheer on others. You can try all you want to get help from your doctor and husband, but if you need help, keep reaching out. Try calling a help line, call a new doctor, talk to a friend (I talk to my cats mostly because of the restrictions.) Post to HealthUnlocked and let us try to cheer you on.
You are worthy of value and time. Others don't always see that but you haven't given up yet. Don't let the demon of low self-worth pull you under. You are strong! Prayers, love, hugs and light to you!
Thanks beautiful! Staying strong! Blessings to you ❤️
I understand. But hard to put false smile on everyday! Got depressed due to medical problem but everyday other things went wrong. So wife depressed. Then Virus so anxiety management course cancelled. Then long awaited op cancelled minutes before left home for hospital. Then this week doctors queried prescription, spoke to him but wrong one sorted out, so told them it was urgent, but rang up today and still not issued. Everyday brings new problems - I just scream I cant take any more. Sorry I posted to sympathise with you. Sorry for the rant.
I hope you will get some relief and be happy. ((((((((((Hug)))))))))))
Same here i cant talk to my family i feel like im bothering them cause i always feel this way i cant get out of this depressionadepressionaband severe health anxiety i constantly thinking im dying
((((((((((((Hug))))))))))) I hear you. So sorry you are in pain
Thank you starrlight thanks for responding so nice 😄
I just wish I could help you take away the pain. I know how it feels to have no break from emotional pain for long stretches, it’s tiring and lonely but you remain a strong, beautiful person and deserving of all good things.
I think I’ll take a break from here.
Hi Starrlight
Sorry your are feeling down. It such a crazy time and to feel alone after reaching at really sucks. Continue to reach out know that someone is always listening. A lot of people care about you here, and how you reach out to others.
I’m really bad at commenting to others even though I really want to it’s just I don’t have the words to say or what I’m going through is different then what there going through and don’t want to say the wrong thing.
Sending you a hug and caring thoughts.
That’s really understandable and I thank you and hope you are holding up okay. I feel like things are falling to pieces. Thanks for reaching out to me I really appreciate it.
I feel the same. It’s not any easy time with all that’s going on in the world. It’s wild with all that’s going on in the world, then there’s your world and what’s going on, and I live in a community housing and that adds a whole new element. There’s just so many changes and sometimes change is so hard to handle. When you lump in all this it’s totally overwhelming.
And at times it’s all just so painful and sad. You just want everyone to feel supported and cared about................
I do not think u r bad at commenting to others. Hey, I care about you.
Thank you! It means a lot to hear that!!
😊
Hope you are having a good evening!
A wonderful loving mother
An artist
A poet
Kind to others no matter how bad you feel
A fighter who refuses to give up
Does that sound like someone who is no good or someone you would like to be friends with?
These are a few things I can say about you and we have never met. So do not let your mind tell you that you are no good. Our brains tell us these things but they are not true and I know that you know this. Can you maybe take a walk or try to take a minute and concentrate on your
breathing?
Maybe write down somethings your husband does that helps you or shows how much he loves you. Think of the good things and maybe that will help clear your head.
Sending love and light to you my friend 🌈
Thank you so much but I am at the bottom and can’t see up right now through to light. I defiantly need a break.
You are so giving and beautiful.
How are you feeling? Better I hope ❤
Hi Dearest Starrlight, we're human and we all need that reassurance that
everything is going to be okay. Unfortunately, we can't depend on others to
give us that. And so we must find our own way of reassuring ourselves that
we can take care of our needs. The more we depend on others, the worse it
hurts when they disappoint us. Disappearing only hurts yourself. It's not
that you think you mean so little but it's because they don't know how to
respond to your needs.
On this forum we understand, I understand your emotional hurt. We are
stronger than we think we are. Show them, show yourself by drawing out
your inner strength. I never allow anyone to emotionally abuse me. And
that's what it really is when we're ignored. Find a quiet spot for a moment
and do Affirmative Meditation. "I am Starrlight" "I will not allow anyone
to disrupt my peaceful state" "I am strong, confident, secure within myself"
"I love myself" "I love who I am" ....Statements like that Starrlight will continue
to make you stronger and less dependent on others. Hugs & Love to you 
xx
Yeah I see what you are saying. I’ll have to do that to the best of my ability.
Awe starrlight! I am so sorry you are in that place right now...I get it girl. I should come on here more than I do bc I sure do need people that understand when I am hurting. And like someone said above, I don’t always have the words that day. Please reach out.
I’m here for you. Anytime. Pm me
I feel disappointed for you too. It can hurt not being seen or heard. To feel like a burden or insignificant. But reading your post and seeing how people want to support you, you are meaningful to people here. I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you. I don’t really deserve it but I am grateful. How are you doing?
Even thought I’m having a good day, it’s still a lot of work. Tiring.
What was tiring for you? For me the way I choose to focus on certain thoughts tires me. Working on that.
Same. Trying to be aware when my mind is focused on negative or unhealthy thoughts and bring my mind back to my breath. Feels like I’m doing that my whole day and still trying to work and be present for my family.
Wow well I think you are absolutely amazing. I think if we keep it up it will become so much easier... we can make new waves in our brain, actually change it to work in a more positive way.
Hi Star.
I am so sorry you are going through this.
You have lots of friends on here that very much care about you. They want you to stay on here and keep in touch. I hope you will not break contact with us because I for one would be worried and wonder how you are.
It is up to you, though to decide what you need.
I have not been on the site as much. I’m sorry if I missed a post from you.
As far as your doctor is concerned, if he is not usually like that, perhaps he was preoccupied with something else.
I have a story about myself when I tried to talk to a doc about us not communicating well. Suffice it to say that he went ballistic.
As far as hubby is concerned, I have been there too. I used to feel hurt and keep it in. ( I assume you know we have been married for 50 yrs.so we have had a long time to learn. It has not always been smooth sailing. )
I went from ignoring hurt to explaining the response I had hoped for, as in.... I’d like you to say something that shows you care. I need that from you.
( I am fortunate that he can learn and correct things.)
. Does it ever happen now. ? Of course it does sometimes, which can draw fro me .... The least you can do is act like you care !!
You are all the wonderful things people on here have said you are. You do matter and you are far from nothing. So do not let your depression tell you otherwise. Your mood will change again and you will feel better in time so hang in there. . Try not to be too demanding of yourself right now. Treat yourself with the respect and love you deserve.
People are right when they say we have to love ourselves. We do need that independent of what others may give us. I wish you 🌞 and 💐.
Virtual big hug to you. ❤️
I’m sorry you had that experience with your doc. As for our husbands I guess it can’t always be smooth sailing , eh? I try to understand where he’s coming from the best I can. I hear you... we need to feel we are cared for.
Thanks for your wise words. I will be patient with myself. I don’t even know why I have been having hate for myself today. I’ll try to get over it.
Blessings to you beautiful!!! ❤️ 🌸 💕
I know exactly how you feel. I feel like I’m always trying to tell my husband or my mother how I feel and they don’t have much of a reaction or do anything to try to help. It makes me feel more depressed and like trash. Like why don’t they see me as valuable enough to want to help. And it’s not just right now during the covid stuff.
Just last night I tired letting it all out and telling my husband how lonely I feel and how much more support I need and today everything is exactly the same. No changes no effort. I feel like if people found me more valuable they would want to be there for me. How come shittier people have the luxury of having others be there for them? I often think I would be better off actually living alone, since I feel all alone all the time anyway. So I totally get it and am sorry to hear you go through the same thing. I just think people are selfish by nature and/or don’t take mental illness seriously enough.
I’m going to have it be rare telling people how I feel from now on. I don’t want to expect anything. I will deal with things myself unless I am in real trouble and really need to reach out. I’m really sorry you feel alone. You can reach out and talk to me whenever you need to. ❤️
Oh how I felt the same way with PTSD, but you worth it to keep going. We are here for you!❤️
Starrlight• in reply to
Oh I’m so sorry Ghi123. How are you?
I know what u mean..my wife definitely dont understand or dont care.
Gymz maybe she doesn’t know how to react. Are you okay?
Yes I am..u know some days are better than others..how are u..
It’s a good day so far thanks. Blessings to you Gymz 😊
What kind of doctor? You need to see a counselor. I’m Not Surprised by your husbands reaction, family and friends don’t understand what we’re going through, so they don’t know what to do for us? Don’t Waste your time telling them they end up getting Frustrated with US. Take Care of You, stop waiting for Validation from others. Good luck 🙏
True I’m stopping expecting something from people. I will be there for myself. Thanks and I hope you are well.
I’m ok, Good for You, we have to Look out for ourselves regardless of any toes You step on. 🙏
🙏 😊
It must be so hard for you ,feeling this way . But you know what, right now focus ONLY on yourself. Don’t bother about how others behave with you . Leave them alone. You do just what you feel like doing and what makes you happy . If others are heartless you also become selfish for yourself. Turn inwards and see how beautiful you are. That is all that matters. Good luck and stay put to lift yourself up .
Good advice to help myself and do what I need and you know It also feels really good to take care of others but to not overwork all the time.
Hang in there!!! It will pass and could come back! I’ve been right we’re you are. I have the best husband and he couldn’t understand why I was so depressed. There was nothing to be sad about! I just put on a happy face and couldn’t wait to just go to bed. My dr. Didn’t care. She finally switched my medication. I’ve been good for awhile. Good luck
I’m happy for you that you’ve been good for a while Spooky!!!
Thank you!!! How are you doing?? It’s good to hear from you!!! ❤️
Really good tonight, thanks! 😊 🙏 what medication did you switch to if you don’t mind sharing?
It's a really bad feeling and i'm sorry you are feeling it. When this thing started, actually abut 4 weeks before i set up an appointment with a therapist and had to wait 3 weeks for the appointment. When we got close i requested a phone meeting because the quarantine was just about to start an she refused to do that even tho she told me when i interviewed her that she would do that . Imagine how rejected and lost and alone that made me feel. Not worth helping. OMG it was awful. What i had to do was realize right now i have to help myself. UGgggggggggggg easy words not so easy to do. How can we help you- or i help you. I am happy to keep u company and talk things thru with you.
True easy words harder to do. I’m handling things fine thank you so much. Hope you are well.
ok glad to hear it.
But you are not alone in your loneliness. i hear you and feel you very loud and clear and want you to be well. you are here among others who understand.
be strong
RcKitty thank you 🙏 😊
I hear you. What you are feeling is valid. The changes all around us are throwing life out of balance, and then there are our personal issues that seem amplified by this. I have felt these feelings you are describing over the past weeks. It seemed no one was listening or hearing me. I want you to know I hear you and I'm sorry you are hurting. Keep going, though, because things will change even when it doesn't feel like they will. Even if you're just going through motions keep moving. Do something for you.
I hear you. It's hard.
I hear you too. Yes let’s keep going we are strong! 💪
I strongly empathize with your situation and I know how much it hurts. It's the same for me, mostly, and sometimes I post on here in complete frustration and fear. The world has gone mad, and I think most of us are struggling with it. Those of us who have pre-existing mental health issues are getting hit hard. Don't pay any attention to anyone who doesn't give you positive feedback on here. Some people simply don't know how to be supportive. Try to find something that gives you joy, even something as simple as a cup of tea. Take a moment to focus on that small joy because every little bit helps. It won't cure depression but it will take the edge off slightly. If it's possible for you to have one, I cannot stress how much pets can help. I rely on my my dog (a rescued Newfie) for emotional support.
Starrlight• in reply to
I hear you. Yes I am finding joy ... went out with my kids and dog for a walk, stuff like this, simple, makes a difference. Smart you!
• in reply toStarrlight
I'm so glad! I try to take it minute by minute sometimes, because that's the best we can do and that's okay.
Starrlight• in reply to
Exactly. I just caught myself worrying about how happy or not my kids will be when they are adults,... ha there are endless things to worry about but best to stay in the present minute by minute.
I have been there and there is no good solution except to remind yourself that you are good for yourself, you don't have to be there for anyone else.
Thank you. Hope you are well.
Hi Starrlight. I'm so sorry. I don't have any concrete advice; I just wanted to assure you that you are not alone. You matter and yes, you deserve better (referring to your reply to Indiebac). One of the things my therapist asks me when I feel low is "what do you need from me right now?". So, I would like to ask you the same thing, "what do you need from us right now?"
Starrlight• in reply to
I think I just needed myself to decide to deal with my own stuff in my own way. Thank you.
• in reply toStarrlight
Hi! Yes, I totally understand that. Half the time I don't know what to say when my therapist asks me that. Much of the time I wouldn't know where to begin so that it's comprehensible to others; much of the time I just need someone to be with me. Just remember that we are here if you need us.😊
Starrlight• in reply to
And I am here for you! Thank you so 🙏 😊
I've been enduring pretty deep depression, myself, since last October. My husband does NOT get it. Doesn't WANT to get it. I have a therapist who understands and has encouraged me every session to go spend time with a friend who is real. He was right. I reached out to one of my long-time friends and we have been spending more time together. We walk our dogs together about once per week, text each other, encourage each other. I have also been spending time by myself doing things I enjoy and not feeling guilty about 'wasting time.' I recommend the same for you, since this is what has been keeping me going. Don't hang out with people who just say, "oh," to you and nothing else. Hang out with a good friend. You know you have one. Even if he/she is out of town, you can facetime, message, text, and connect. Sending emotional strength to you.
I’m glad you have a good friend. Thanks, I got it and am sending emotional strength backatchya my friend.
I know how you feel. I feel like the drs can’t understand because no one Can unless they are going through it themselves I feel. Maybe your husband doesn’t know how to help you? My husband understand I have anxiety but he just doesn’t know how to help which I understand since he doesn’t know what I feel inside. Im here to talk if you need to.
True thank you (((((hug))))
Hi! I am so sorry you are going through this! Don’t feel alone because we are all here for you. I went through a time where I was feeling depressed and I also told my husband but he was no help. He works a lot and all he think about is work. But I found that writing my thoughts down in a journal really helps. And also people here are also very helpful too. Feel better!
I just started journaling too, mostly about things I figure out while meditating. Thank you so!
I know how you are. I think people struggle to understand how it is. The thing is with our mindset if people aren't interested it will also be detrimental to our mental health. I'm an introvert always have been. I've found spending more time simply on improving your own mindset. Mimdfulness, changing and challenging your oncomkmg thoughts. I don't think its people don't care I don't think they understand. When your husband needs your advice give a simple answer and then explain how you feel when he gives such a simple answer.
In short I think the one person you can truly rely on is yourself. Which sounds crazy for people with the midset that struggles. But you get you whe no one else does you just can't process it too well. Bit if you seek the ways that help you too process it best you can also be your best friend in your time of need.
Look simply at eckhart tolle power of now to help challenge your thoughts.
Peace and love
Smart to challenge our thoughts! Thank you soooooo! True I can help myself.
I have been on both side of the fence, feeling depressed and telling someone plus someone depressed telling me. I have caught myself thinking shes fine nothing to be depressed about etc. Then I have pulled my self up and listened!!!
The issue is that the person receiving the message does not always understand the pain. They see you through their eyes.
I think that you have to find the comfort from the people who want or able to give it. When someone does not understand there's no point to keep trying.
Keep stong an be kind to yourself.
So true. Thanks I will try to be strong and kind to myself... you too! ❤️
we need more faith sometimes the people we are looking for help from need help also.
I am going praying for faith to help me fight the demons.
Me too, I love prayer ❤️
I feel like that a lot. Just no your not alone... Your only looking through your eyes. You can't see what everyone else see's.
Wise words. Thank you and bless you.
Sorry to hear that you’re not feeling well. This is quite an isolating time, and it definitely makes it harder to reach out to people in the physical world. Though sometimes, I feel like people don’t say things because they simply don’t know how to. They don’t know how to respond to how we feel because they really can’t relate. It’s not an excuse to their behavior, but I think it can help a little to understand it’s not a you issue. It’s a them issue. Not sure if that helps.
That makes total sense. It is an isolating time and none of us can always have the right things to say. But trying counts. Thanks hope you are well!
I am sorry you feel this way. I feel like this a lot myself. I feel like I have a lot of support but no one knows how to help. I had the covid virus in early April but still have lingering symptoms so it stresses me out and is causing more depression and anxiety. I lost my mom late November of last year so it just seems one thing after another. The only thing that gets me through is praying. A lot of praying. I hope this helps.
Prayer is amazing and I’m so so sorry for your loss and pain ((((((((hug)))))))))) yes your words are helpful.
Oh, Starrlight, I wish I could be there to give you a hug. I feel like it's time to get a new doctor. In your husband's defense, some people ignore what they don't understand. Maybe get some information in black and white for him to read. People can't fully understand things they've never encountered themselves. Maybe when you find a new provider you could talk with them together and it might help. Good luck.
Thank you... I don’t know. I have a new amazing therapist who I get to talk to every week and I feel I’m making progress and the team psychiatrist gives meds I take for free there. I don’t know if a switch would help. I did start to switch over once a while back and it was no good. I’ll keep it in mind though. As for my husband well he’s probably tired of hearing it which I can’t blame him for. We’ve been together since high school and now in our 40s so I try to rarely talk about it with him. Thanks Mysticfawn I like your name.
Hi again. Thanks for reading.
I feel terrible for you. The only thing that I have going for me right now is my husband. He's very supportive even after being together over 40 years. Since you've been together for so long he might be receptive to your situation if you get one on one attention with him. Don't ever feel you aren't important enough or that people shouldn't listen to you because they've already hear it all. You are important and deserve to be heard! Give this therapist some time. I'm so glad you have someone to talk to. My doctor passed away after listening to my stories for 11 years! I sure miss him and can't find anyone to fill his shoes... yet.
Hugs to you and thanks for liking the name. 💕
I’m glad you have your husband for support. It makes a huge difference, doesn’t it? I’m sorry about your therapist. That’s sad. I hope you will find another great one. Have beautiful moments today my friend!
Just looked into this site..., as my brother has been having anxiety, been dealing with mental issues since a kid. A lot of fear out there..., and, loneliness. My thoughts and prayers go to all. Is faith of value to you, esp during rough times?
Hi Eugene! Sorry about your brother. Faith is of huge value to me. I’ve been crying all day only God knows exactly why things are for us the way they are and I trust things will work out because there is good and God, faith hope and love. But I have to say I question my faith I question God and it’s a struggle of a quest How are you doing?
Hey. You have an entire group of friends here who suffer with what you suffer from. I will pray for you. Be of good courage. Remember, don’t look at the outward appearance of everything. Trust God.
Thank you 🙏
Hello Starrlight, I’m responding a little late on this post but felt I needed to.... Ive been very depressed for a while and when I have reached out to my boyfriend telling him exactly what I need, he still fails to come through for me. I too would do anything he needed me to do but I feel like I’m not important enough for him to help me. I feel let down too. Hope u are doing well. Take care.
Hello!!!!! I’ve found sometimes I need to reach out to professionals... I know, it sucks when your loved ones don’t come through for us, they don’t get it. We would be there for them because we know how it feels.
You ARE important enough. You are so worthy of getting help, and of being loved.
I’m having a beautiful day thanks. I hope for beautiful moments in your day!!!
P.s. what’s the thing you need most right now? Let’s try for it.
I am very sorry Starrlight. First off, here’s a big virtual hug for you. I feel the same way reaching out to my Neuro and all that I am feeling and he keeps saying how I don’t need a LP it’s all caused by stress and my body has had its limit and I don’t know how it can cause all this head pressure and all the other scary Neuro symptoms I am having. I tell my sons father, who gets upset angry and doesn’t want to hear anymore about it. My mom and dad will listen and I have them to talk to on the phone, but they are states away. I too feel hopeless sometimes and helpless and feel bad I am like this and my poor son sees me suffering but trying to push through. But everyday is a battle and I don’t want to give up, but feeling how I am feeling can very lonely. Especially when others don’t understand and think you can flip a switch a get better. Some family believe it’s stress that came to a head and other family thinks something is wrong and they don’t understand it and they knew I was never like this before and they knew my spirit and go with the flow attitude and to see how I am now is just something nobody not even myself would expect. Then my sons father of all people should have remembered how I was. He just says it’s in your head kind of thing and feels there is nothing wrong and that I’m just stressed too, then recently he says go see more doctors because he doesn’t know. But he gets mad about it and doesn’t want to hear anymore and he will shake his head when he sees me because he sees the pain and distant look on my face because I am so zoned inward on my symptoms all day. We are just trying to raise our kid in same home.
Also remember even when you don’t feel like you are special and your one of a kind. There’s nobody else out there like you. And from what I know from on here you are a very caring, kind and loving person. Don’t let you light shine out and try to think of positive things. I know it’s hard to do as I try it myself. I listen to sermons and music and try to relax as much as I can with a young one running around and it’s hard to relax, but I do my best to find ways and just breathe through it all trying to get through each day. And I pray pray and pray. Your so not alone in how you feel. Hugs to you.
I know me too, I pray pray pray...
how old is your little one? Boy or girl.
I have 3 boys 24, 12, and 8. Time goes by so fast. They are growing up. I know I will always be close to them no matter how old they are but I do miss the very little guys days.
I have a 5 yr old boy so energetic 
and the time does fly by. I still remember when he was a newborn like it was yesterday. We even watch videos together seeing his growth and he is amazed by it too. He misses when mommy was feeling ok and he will even point out how I good in certain videos and the ones I not. He remembers all to well.
Awwww 🥰 he sounds so smart and loving. I know. It’s hard when we notice that they notice when we are struggling. But we do our best. Our best will be enough. ❤️
It is very hard for me and for him. He pulls out his little guitar or ukulele and starts playing it and singing a song to God saying please help mommy get better, he has the whole thing he sings. Makes me tear up and cry.
Oh he is so beautiful 😍 so sorry for your pain... I know it seems never ending but stay hopeful.
Aw thank you. I sure am trying! And sorry for how you feel too. Big hugs.
❤️ how are you you feeling today so far?
Still the same. Jaw ears tight shooting pins n needles in face, constant head pressure. Temple pain. But I keep trying to get through each day. Thank you for asking. How are you today?
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