Misunderstood

[shewolf_]

I feel like my brother doesn’t understand where I come from when I express how things bother me in my life. He thinks that I’m being too sensitive or weak. It gives me anxiety because then I start to doubt myself. I know I have depression and I know my triggers. My siblings and I have had a rough life so I guess he expects me to always be bullet proof and strong. I used to be all of those things but I don’t want to be. I don’t want to always have to be a survivor and a fighter. I want to live and be okay with my feelings and emotions . Of course I won’t let those emotions and feelings define me or dictate my life but why do I always have to be strong. I’ve been all my life as a kid growing up with a traumatic childhood. I mean yes I understand that in this world you have to have a shield and sword to protect your peace and survive but he just makes me feel like I’m doing this all wrong. He makes me feel like my feelings and emotions should always come second. It’s just confusing to figure out what’s the best way to navigate through life . I guess i feel like my emotions are being belittled ...

[Blackdog1]

I don't mean to say that people are self-centered but, I think its typical to see things according to what you would do or what you think would be best for you.

Your brother probably thinks he needs to restrain his emotions to succeed and doesn't take into account you have different needs.

You've got to forget about pleasing anyone but yourself. (Of course sometimes we can be the worse tyrants of all to ourselves.)

I'm trying to work on this myself, embrace my emotions, accept them. I feel like that is the key to everything.

[Hidden]

Professional people may help you more and when I finally reached out I got the results I wanted

[Hidden]

Hi there, I am glad you feel safe enough to post here. I am sorry that you are feeling that you are not being heard and your feelings are not being respected. Working through these feelings-- therapy, journaling, posting here, is going to be a big step in navigating your life. Do know: some people will never ever validate our feelings, our wants, our desires. You may still have those people in your life, however, they will not be the ones you go to when you need emotional support. You must know and accept this (it took me a LONG time to do this so I'm not saying it is easy). If I were to depend on my family only for emotional support, I would have taken my own life years ago. It used to make me sad every time I thought about it, however, now it is just a fact (a sad fact; and of course sometimes I still cry). I have friends and that's good. As one thing I read on quora said (You may have over 10 people who you consider as friends but only 1 or 2 will be there for you during your hard times. Be even thankful if you have 1) -- I am happy to have friends right now. Please continue reaching out to people to get the things you deserve out of this life: time and respect. You will figure out the best way for YOU to navigate YOUR life, it just may take some time (and tries). I hope you have a wonderful day.

[Tclaire]

Wow do I get the "too sensitive" thing. Been that way my whole life. I learned that when I let someone else dictate my feelings I'm giving them power to do so. I get depression but I didn't really get how much power I really have over my own mental health. Admittedly, I am dependent on my relationship with Christ who strengthens me, but we all have the capacity to find what it is that strengthens us. Finding a new batch of friends can be amazing. I survived the loss of a child and a mentally abusive husband, who is now my ex. I think I have learned more tools from peer support (I don't negate the importance of our clinicians, only speaking from my experiences) than any other resource. I am in recovery, not cured but have a much better hold on my emotional responses. I've also learned that many times our answers are already within us, we just may have to dig a little. My hope is that you do some digging and find your answers because you are uniquely and wonderfully you. No one else can ever be you and you are valid. So you be you because you will find others who will accept and validate you for who you are....and by the way.....sensitively is a strength!! We just have to learn how to wield it, like a finely crafted sword. However, if things get bigger than you can handle, which sometimes they just do, don't hesitate to get professional help.

[Ollyvie]

Hello Shewolf, am sorry what you are going through right now. Its just not fair for your brother put you down knowing all that you have been dealing with in life. Unfortunately, in life, we have to deal with various challenges all through the stages in our life. We hope it get better with time, but it turns out to come in different form. You have to train your mind and heart to overcome each challenge in life. First of all, you have to consider peoples attitude and opinion about you. Ask yourself is it’s a true representation of you or if that what God sees about you. If you think you can do something to make yourself better, then consider it and try. If its something mean and want to degrade your moral, then ignore it. People will have opinion about you, but it doesn’t mean it’s true. We are all human so every now and then people’s attitude towards may get into us, but we have to develop stronger emotional strength and stability. That is what will keep you afloat. Believe in yourself. You can overcome this. Sending hugs and love your way.