I've struggled with depression for the 14 years I've been married, in various degrees. This week has been one of the worst. I'm having bad side effects to my anti-depressant, one of which is insomnia. After being up all night last night I confessed to my husband that I felt so low I had thoughts of suicide. He responded with "Maybe you should get fresh air. The birds are singing." In an irritated voice. I don't talk about my feelings often to him and I don't throw around the word "suicide". This is typical of how he responds. He doesn't understand that it's not about "getting fresh air" or "thinking positive thoughts." Does anyone have experience with this? Please, how do you make your significant other understand without creating conflict? I don't contradict him anymore because he gets upset.

5 Replies

  • Counseling to figure out a strategy that works for you or talk with a close friend. I would think. We can't control others - only ourselves and dealing with someone that minimizes our feelings is extremely stressful. best wishes.

  • I agree with the 1st comment. I believe in the tradition of counseling along with meds. You absolutely need that therapist in your corner and helping you to understand your disease and coping with it and all that goes with it. Lack of being understood and supported is so common and hurtful it's just a common part of what a counselor helps you with. Check out counselor's philosophies, specialties, educations, charges and more on the website Psychology Today.

  • Thank you. I am currently seeing a counselor, but I do wish there was some way to help my husband understand that I can't just snap out of it by taking a walk.

  • Yes, I get that. Unfortunately, some people have to actually experience something to understand it.

  • Yes I know how you feel, these throwaway comments from ppl even close to yourself. Then sometimes they surprise me and are very understanding.

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