boiling point

[Madysen019]

I feel very unwanted by my family. I am so angry and exhausted mentally for being treated the way I am with the constant gaslighting from my parents.

I have no one to go stay with and feel trapped and am very depressed to the point of for first time in a long time I’m questioning my existence.

I’m miserable and mentally and emotionally done.

I have to stay home from work because I’m immune compromised but my parents think I’m a liar and did it just to not work.

My boyfriend is in Colorado and I can’t go stay with him.

I feel alone and hopeless.

I finally realized I’ve been being verbally abused and gaslighted for so long that I think it’s normal.

I don’t know what to do or where to go.

My mom threatened to kick me out because I told her I didn’t want to hear her and my dads night time activities and asked her nicely to move her bed. Then she yelled at me and told me that unless I pay the mortgage she’s not going to and she can get screwed all she wants and I’m just jealous my boyfriend isn’t home.

I feel lost.

[misty82]

I know how you feel with the "night time activities",It's horrible.It happened to me when I was 7 to 11 years old.Slept in single bed about 2 feet away from selfish,unthinking parents in their double bed.

Social Anxiety(my prob) is caused by a trauma,abuse,learnt behaviour...say scientists.

I still feel the pain in my ears from putting fingers in to try block it all out.

All I can say is that it will come to an end when you can leave and join your boyfriend,but as we all know we don't know how long that will be....and I REALLY do feel your pain,as I know you dread night time(and day time)....even though your older than I was.

Your parents sound very self absorbed(like mine were),as they have no regards for your feelings.They know your hurting badly inside,but don't give a damn,as long as their feelings and needs are catered for on a daily basis....that's all that matters by the sounds of it.

I can't really offer much,except when I got to twelve I started sleeping downstairs on the settee/couch...this helped a lot..but if there is nowhere else to sleep,try listening to white noise....know it's not much,as you have all the other crap to deal with,but maybe it could help.

You're a strong person and will get through this!!

Best Wishes!!

Dz

[Hidden]

I am sorry that you feel this way. I am wondering if it makes sense for you to begin to make a plan on how you can safely remove yourself from this situation. If so, start brainstorming and get a pen and paper and make the plan. I am still waiting for my family to contact me to see if I'm still alive or coping (well or not so well) with this global crisis. I'm not actively waiting. However, if I sit with the thought too long I will go down into the deep dark black rabbit hole (I've been apt at climbing back out of it fairly quickly yet I worry what happens when I really don't want to?).

I hear you loudly. The one good thing about living with them: is that there are other living beings with you that you can be near (I understand about not wanting to hear them be intimate) as being single, alone and without human interaction, touch, warmth is taking its toll right now on me. I am taking some gratitude in knowing I had a blast, a fabulous last weekend before I was ordered by THEM to stay inside and away from other human beings. Now, I guess I'm over the sadness of the loss of my pets because I surely wish I had one now.

If possible, start to think of actions you can take (even if they won't happen for a week, two weeks, or a month) to free yourself of this situation.

You deserve to be loved and respected. Good luck and I hope you find some peace today.

[Hidden]

I have read all your stories on here and makes me wish I could help out those in need. I would not be able to afford to do so. By your stories you seem like a good person going thru some awful times. My wish for you is that soon you will be able to get out of your situation and start having a peaceful and wonderful life. Everybody deserves that. Godspeed.