Getting a Job

[separationanxiety17]

I saw on the internet that it’s good to write about your problem, and share to people who understand what you’re going through.

The first week of April I finally got a job at Sonic. I wanted to make parents proud of me. Except when I got the job, I’d come home and cry all night. I vomited to the point where I could barely move. I couldn’t eat without it coming back up. I only lasted 2 days and my parents were convinced that I should quit.

I didn’t want to get another job until I went to therapy. The therapist wouldn’t call back for my mom to make me an appointment. I applied at the Vet Hospital a long time ago, and they finally called me back. I thought this would be good for me.

After the interview, I started crying/hyperventilating. My mom told me that I can’t keep doing this. I told her I don’t want to be like this. She told me that I have an appointment with a therapist June 28th. This is way too far away for me. I asked her if there were anyway that I could get it sooner. There isn’t.

Now I’m sitting here typing this as I’m trying not to cry. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to disappoint my parents. I don’t want to fail. I feel like this also goes with my problem of leaving the house. I feel safer at home, and I’ve never been one to like being gone from home too long.

Sorry for the long post. Could use some help.

[Svtempus]

Did something happen while at your job that made you feel so bad?

[separationanxiety17 in reply to Svtempus]

Sonic was too much. I can’t work fast like the rest of the people there. Now I can’t go to Sonic anymore without having a full on panic attack. I get home and would start hyperventilating.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

Is this a restaurant? Not everyone is geared towards every job. You are being way too hard on yourself. I am old, and quite frankly I do not understand this fast paced hi tech world.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to gogogirl]

Sonic is a restaurant. I do tend to overthink which causes me to have insomnia.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

Everyone is different. Do you have family/friends who work somewhere you could also work? I hope you do not overindulge in smart phone use. Studies have shown that even after a couple of hours a way people stand to have more depression and anxiety. It makes sense.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to gogogirl]

I’m not a person on my phone a lot. I don’t have a place where I can work with my friends or family.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

A phone line is there for people who have issues they need help with - there are even crisis lines.

[Hidden]

Are there any depression/anxiety support groups in your area? The one close to me meets on the second and fourth Wednesdays of the month.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to Hidden]

There aren’t any

[Hidden in reply to separationanxiety17]

nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-...

Did you check there? I’m sure you did.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to Hidden]

The closest one is 3 hours away

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

NAMI might have a phone warmline you could use where you could talk to a person.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to gogogirl]

I’m terrified of talking over the phone.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

You do not have to give your name. It's so you can be anonymous as on this site.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to gogogirl]

I’m sorry. Idk why, but this site doesn’t seem to be making me feel better. As I just got sick.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to Hidden]

Do you think I should wait till after my first therapy session to get a job? Or try the job now?

[Hidden in reply to separationanxiety17]

As a former vet tech whose anxiety and depression pushed her out of the field.....? Idk, man. I would wait until therapy. I think your parents would be more proud of you for taking care of your head.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

Are you in high school ? Why not try both? Sounds like you have understanding parents.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to gogogirl]

I am in high school. I am trying to do both. I start my job soon. My therapy session isn’t till the end of next month. I wish I could have therapy before the job though

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

How will you work in an office if you are terrified of talking on the phone? Or are you just afraid of talking about issues? Plus, it's good you are still in school - there should be a school counselor, right? There sure are a lot more services in schools today than when I went a million years ago!

[separationanxiety17 in reply to gogogirl]

It’s summer now so we aren’t in session. I just have this weird things over phones.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

You must get out earlier in your neck of the woods so to speak. That's good that this is a summer thing. I imagine you'll be doing a lot of cleaning and other physical work. Maybe that's a good thing.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to gogogirl]

I thought so to. But once I convince myself this job is good for me, I am back vomiting over the toilet. I really think I should wait on the job till I get help. Idk.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

I hope you have also consulted with your family and a medical doctor as well. Good luck to you.

[Hidden in reply to separationanxiety17]

You should definitely wait.

[gogogirl]

May I ask how you got a job at a vet hospital while still in hs.? I know people who are vet techs- and they had to get a degree, and pass a board exam.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to gogogirl]

I will be working in the kennel part.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

Well good. Maybe I am saying too much- but I hope you put your education first( yes, I have worked in schools). I'll bet your parents would appreciate you for putting your education first.

[pink83737]

Have you tried the headspace app its mindfulness and I'm sure it could help you out. Hang in there, things will get better even though it might not seem that way it will get better. Jobs can be very stressful sometimes, is there any jobs in particular you like or jobs that involve things you like?

[separationanxiety17 in reply to pink83737]

I thought that this job was one of the jobs I could handle. The headspace thing didn’t work for me.

[separationanxiety17]

I would like to thank you all. My parents are letting me work with family until I get help and there is improvement. I didn’t think this would actually help l, but it really did. I appreciate everyone that said something. Thank you so so much.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

Well good- what type of work does your family do? Maybe this will be a good start for you . Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to gogogirl]

I’ll be helping my grandparents with their yard work. They need more help, especially since it’s hotter.

[gogogirl in reply to separationanxiety17]

Well, that is quite honorable- and you'll be doing something that is meaningful and productive. In addition that probably will help your self esteem and will help your parents as well!

[Hidden]

You need to slow down and take an honest assessment of yourself. Your false belief in thinking that having a job and going to school will make your parents proud or impress them is not healthy. You are setting unrealistic expectations for yourself by doing that. Why do you feel the need to make your parents proud?

[separationanxiety17 in reply to Hidden]

They do so much for me, so I feel like that I need to help them out more.

[Hidden in reply to separationanxiety17]

You are a conscientious person and that is very commendable, but at the same time you are only human. Your parents aren’t doing all those things for anything in return. They love you and want nothing more than you to be happy and healthy. Making yourself sick is only going to worry them. Take time to learn about yourself. Your experience at sonic has brought out some things that need to be addressed. You obviously have a panic disorder. You need to treat that. It doesn’t mean you are less of a person. You just need help.

[separationanxiety17 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Your words truly helped.