Any musicians or performing artists with social anxiety struggling to get back out there?

So, I've been trying to get back into playing music after a nearly 15 year absence. It's too long a story to explain but basically, I did not (originally) quit playing due to social anxiety, though I have always been a very shy person and had a lot of stage fright before playing, but faced it somehow in the past.

I played a gig last September with some friends and told them I wanted to have some songs written before we practiced again. I haven't written anything since. Though I have been working at it.

I feel like the music is coming along, getting to more my liking-- the lyrics, (as always) are trickier.

It's not that I feel incompetent as a writer (not to sound big headed) but I've known I could write for a long time. (I really spend an obsessive amount of time on it, it should be half-way decent ) My issue with the lyrics is, how I feel about my feelings-especially the "dark" feelings. I feel a lot of shame over feeling how I feel. I try to tell myself that a natural reaction to feeling depressed is to write depressed lyrics, a reasonable song to write when your sad, is a sad song. Well duh.

I heard Paul Simon say that "you just have to get the words to where you're comfortable singing them"

I guess I'm just not there yet.

Anyway, anyway

I promised my therapist that I would make it to an open-mic this week, just to open my ears to the musical air. I found something that I think I'd like--it's actually a full performance, tonight (Saturday, which is always more people and more anxiety for me) but it stands out from all the other options I have this week. So, I'll got to find a way to get my body out of my car and into that bar this evening. Wish me luck!

[mrmonk]

Good luck! 😺

[Hidden in reply to mrmonk]

Thank you!

[Depresseddoglover]

wishing you luck!

[Hidden in reply to Depresseddoglover]

Thank you!

[Hidden]

You need confidence in yourself and a love and high expectations knowing you will move on and become what you wish to be. Initially work within your limits and have positive expectations of your talents.

I am very much like you I had problems with my memory and I stopped attending meetings and think tanks. I had stopped three years ago and only last week I began to attend one of the meetings I used to attend once more, I began to get my confidence back, yes I was out of touch, I had to listen and walk the walk to become more proficient and understand what was expected of me. However The Meeting went according to plan and I am fast looking forward to be able to talk to the group and relight my expectations.

Be brave if you want something so much you will eventually move on with confidence and achieve once more

Keep a Hold, I expect an autograph when you become famous

BOB

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Haha

That's just it- wanting something so much--

Sometimes, I just think it comes down to the greater fear winning:

Fear of what other people think < fear of not going after what I want

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I used to take various lectures and in the early days I was scared stiff, you need to remember people in an audience expect you to be the expert, they have a love of music.

You are their teacher and you are there to allow them to appreciate your Music. Yes audiences are there to listen, relax and enjoy, they want to hear your music or they would not be attending.

If you are writing music you are expressing your life and its expectations, it is wonderful to be paid ?, When you tell a story

Keep a hold, move on and express yourself with your music, ENJOY

BOB

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the encouraging words. I'll try to remember this.

[Hidden]

Haha hope so!!

[Hidden]

Best of luck to you. Sounds like you are indeed making progress, way to go.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!

[CanuckAnon]

What about recording songs on YouTube? That way you are only facing a camera and not dealing with anyone ?

[Hidden in reply to CanuckAnon]

Maybe in the future. I have various little phobias . Lol. One of them is just accepting my own words as lyrics again. ( I used to write my own stuff, though I was always singing fast or sloppily so they were purposely distorted. My bandmate would intentionally turn my monitor way down so I had to sing louder. Sneaky guy. )

[CanuckAnon in reply to Hidden]

Even just recording yourself so not you but 3rd party can objectively listen etc... I get nasty phobias that can hold us back I got those. I was just wondering if you heard yourself thru a trusted persons ear it may reassure u at least or just give u a confidence boost.... 🌷😊

[Hidden in reply to CanuckAnon]

Thank you. I have a person in my mind to share with once I get a song together. He helped me in the past. He's kind of known around here as being super approachable for musicians. So Im really fortunate in that.

[CanuckAnon in reply to Hidden]

😎Cool. So happy.... it’s Awesome that you have an outlet like songwriting to get thoughts out. Must be a great way to release... 😊

[Hidden in reply to CanuckAnon]

It is canuck!

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Go for it!! Just make sure you let us know how you made out. We'll all be there with you in spirit. Sing a song for me.

[Hidden in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you, Lily!

[LilyAnnepuppy]

How did you make out on open mike night? Did you Wow the crowd?

[Hidden in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you for asking! Actually, I went to see a band on a Saturday night by myself. That was stressful enough lol at this point anyway. I've been chipping away my anxiety by practicing at home and attending musical events. I've been also working to build self-worth, in general- which I think will support the whole endeavor. Or, at least I hope so.

[CanuckAnon in reply to Hidden]

👏🏻 Yayyy you did it!!!! 💃🌟🧁 so happy to hear you went to hear a band!!!! Congrats!!! ☀️🌷😊🤗

[Hidden in reply to CanuckAnon]

Thank you! They weren't half bad. I went to thank the singer afterwards and found I was speaking with a twang. What is it about bluegrass music (!?)

[CanuckAnon in reply to Hidden]

😂😂😂

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Hidden]

Good for you. Work at your own pace. You'll know when the time is right.

[Hidden in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you. That's right.