Empty

[MaskOfTranquility]

I just don't understand why life has to be so difficult. I get that there are challenges to overcome to make us stronger, but do those challenges have to be daily. Can't I get a break from facing one challenge before I have to face another?

I'm so sick of feeling this way. I just want what other people have: to be able to go through life without hating myself, to feel that someone, anyone, cares about what I'm going through, to feel connected to another person, to not be alone.

Instead, I'm alone at 4:30am, crying into my keyboard and begging strangers online for empathy. At 43, I'm starting to think that happiness is just a pipe dream, that the best I have to look forward to is to just not be miserable, but I can't even seem to achieve that.

I feel so lonely and empty.

[quitter333]

What is the difficult thing, maybe you can explain? Otherwise it is almost impossible to comprehend you, as I too can state "oooh, it's difficult for me" without further explanations, and at the end of the day my complaint will turn out to be that my pants belt was too tight and it was hurting me.

.

Personally life per se imho is not difficult at all. Shaping your life as you please can be challenging, then again you either persist and get there step by step, or you change your perceptin and needs (e.g. Elon Musk decided he REALLY wants to get to Mars. Technically it would be a challenge that goes into impossible, but he had persistence and smarts and he is actually very close to getting there (I think we will see first human on another planet in about 2030). So you can see great example of pushing and keeping pushing.

Some people for example fall in love but cannot persuade their love interest. So they usually feel saddened, but to keep going forward, they simply learn to love anew.

A boxing champion losing his belts probably feels like it is the end when he loses. Some people succumb and accept their loss (e.g. W.Klitschko ended career acknowledging he cannot compete in young mans game anymore). Some keep fighting and returning (e.g. UFC McGregor, despite suffering humiliating losses, he kind of gets back there again and again). George Foreman is a great example of both worlds - being incredibly strong, he eventually lost title to Muhammad Ali - devastated by this loss, he stopped boxing for a long time, became a pastor and businessman, and then,10 years later, he returned and won the title at age 45. He went full circle from accepting loss and giving up to getting back and actually succeeding in an unseen manner and age.

.

So.. you chose your way, how you deal with problems. Evaluate your worldview, what are your desires and plans. Disengage worthless endeavors and persons. Make a plan, follow it.

[MaskOfTranquility in reply to quitter333]

The difficult thing is mainly career/financial. I'm 43 and starting over. I'm in the middle of an IT cert program at a local college, but it feels like I'm getting into a younger person's game and that there's no room for me. I'm wondering if I made the right decision.

Also, I'm alone. I see my daughter on weekends, but that's about the extent of my human interaction. However, I can't afford to get back into the dating game. Who wants to date someone who can't afford a good date?

All in all, I feel like a loser who has failed at life.

[Hidden in reply to MaskOfTranquility]

I’m speaking from someone who used to work in IT, my husband is an IT Manager for Health Care Systems Developer and he is 60. There’s room for you, don’t give in because you think there is an age divide.

The future is Information Technology.

Next and I don’t know anything about you so I’ll throw this out, the first step to getting any where other than where you are currently, is to decide you're not happy where you are. Looks like you’ve done that,.. you’ve gotta take action steps towards change otherwise we keep doing the same things expecting different results. It’s a cycle only you can break.

[quitter333 in reply to MaskOfTranquility]

1. Literally depends on how smart you are. Also if you are hip and laid back, younger people will like you.

2. I literally met the best girl when I was super broke, and I realized that i never needed money. (though I rarely impressed women, having spare hundred for a date-night was a must for me). Also at your age if you meet any 30+ girl they are pretty desperate to also have a companion, so it would rather be - do not get into a crazy relationship, but isntead find someone decent.

[Hidden]

Oh my dear. Life is problems and solving them is life! Volunteer and see how lucky we are to live this life. God knows your pain and will never give you more than you can handle. Take your challenges and decide which of the most important and which ones are sweating the small stuff you will see that we tend to exaggerate what we go through but there's other people out there that have it so much worse than we do.

It's okay to have bad days but you have to stay positive and do what makes you happy that is the bottom line in this life it's not perfect in any shape way or form

🙏🙏🙏🙏🛐