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I'm 22 most people are probably thinking oh she is still young she will get over it well maybe but right now I can't see anything but a dark hole. 17 2 weeks before Christmas my mother finds a lump on her shoulder it ended up being stage 4 lung cancer she already suffered chrones disease. 2012 senior year taking care of my mother she died 2 weeks a before I graduated. The night before she died she asked me lay with her in the hosptial bed but I told her I didn't want to break it. I regret it. Two weeks after we burry my mother my father becomes a crack addict and turns my home into a whore house basically. Not shorly down the road my father puts a gun to my head. Run away to other family. 2014 I watched my father died major heat attack. 2015 I'm happy I'm in love 2016 I'm in love with someone who has been apart of my life since I was 7 we decide to move in...I find out he has been cheating with a co worker....

People calling you names rumors being started on why things happened friends turning people I only had left leaving. I felt alone and took pills and slit my wrist ended up in the hospital.

Come home to think I couldn't change but it gets worse every day making fun of me because I have picked up some wait or because I have depression at this point I don't even know what to do or if anything is even worth it. My self esteem is shot I don't even know what a date is of going out with the girls. Medical bills in collections and other bills being due. College was a idea but how can that even happen anymore.

5 Replies

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  • You may be only 22 but you've had a whole lifetimes worth of troubles. I'm glad you're writing here - It's like a lifeline for me.

    It sounds like you are stuck being around people who are not treating you with compassion. That's hard on anyone.

    I hope you can see a doctor to start treating your depression. Once you are feeling a bit more stable you will have more success on dealing with your other challenges.

    Hang in there!

  • Im 24 and i understand what you are going through but the other person is right. First of all YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL fuck what they may be saying behind your back. They didnt experience all that you have so they dont know any better. its great that you came here and thats the first step to getting better you are a beautiful warrior. Your tears dont show fear they show STRENGTH. keep ya head up..you already completed the first step think of how beautiful it will be further down the line because you gave me hope knowing im not alone and YOU arnt either my love. None of us are here 🙂

  • You need help asap. Are you ready to change your life yet? Are you tired of this life you're living? You need to see a doctor for your depression that you're running from. You need to be on an antidepressant. I don't know if you have abnormal anxiety, too. The doc and you can figure that out.

    Also in desperate need is a counselor for you. It's the other 1/2 of the treatment for depression. But also you need it for the dramatic life changes you know you need to make. This will be somebody you can call friend who is on your side and supports you in all of your needed changes. This counselor won't lie to you though. If you lie to yourself, she won't go along with it. It's tough love. But you won't be lying to yourself, will you?

    I'll be here for you if you need someone to talk to for whatever reason. I hope you're ready to make some changes. You won't feel better until you do.

  • Thank you everyone for the advice and the support I'm looking at getting help currently

  • Leslie, oh my God you have been through the mill. I sympathize with your depression. I was hospitalized in October. I know you didn't want to die. You are overwhelmed. You did a holy service taking care of your Mom. I take care of mine but she is elderly. Do you have a therapist ? You need one. I have a social worker who has helped me for 8 years. I went to him when my best friend took her own life. There are people who love you and want to see you get better. Do you take meds? I have for 27 years. It helps. Please write back

    LD

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