Regret and self forgiveness

I never had children but always wanted them. My marriage fell apart after my ex husband came home from Iraq. I isolated myself for the last 20 years. When I look at others and see how easily they love and let people in, it brings tears to my eyes. I want that ease so desperately.

[Hidden]

Oh my how I feel for you... hang in there, you never know what tomorrow will bring your way...try to feed positive into your mind and I'm your friend!

Sparkles & dump trucks of groovy love, peace, light, joy & hugs nc007!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I never share any of that with family or friends because I know they will worry. I show strength instead of vulnerability. It really helps to share and see your reply. Thank you

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

If you'd like to pm me you may, that's if you want to..no pressure...

Life sure is a challenge, been through many of them..what we have to do is fight for ourselves, sadly no one else can do it for us....

Maybe you should let just one in your family know what you're going through...you would more than likely get a bunch of support from them...

Be kind & gentle to yourself....in fact get yourself a treat today....

Sparkles & dump trucks of groovy love, peace, light, joy & hugs nc007!

[Hidden]

The fear of love is so strong.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Now that you're here, you're no longer isolated. There's all kinds of people who can let you into their hearts and minds. And hopefully you'll do the same.

Sometimes it even feels like family. We squabble amongst ourselves like siblings. We support each other if anyone appears to abuse our tranquility.

Welcome, sister.

[Hidden in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I already feel welcome and so thankful I found this site. Reading the posts is like reading my own struggles

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Hidden]

Exactly how I feel. It makes me feel connected with others who suffer like me. I'm not alone.

[LadyZen]

I struggle with that too, not wanting to or feeling incapable of loving a partner. I've found some peace in concluding that it may just not be my calling. Thanks for sharing.

[Hidden in reply to LadyZen]

Why do you think you have been incapable of being a loving partner? I’m sure you’ve thought about it a lot.

[LadyZen in reply to Hidden]

I was raped when I was 17 so I spent a huge portion of my life trying to fix myself in both destructive and productive ways. In my younger years, the trauma made me incapable of loving anyone. Fast forward to me at 44 years old, I'm divorced with two kids after almost 17 years of marriage. Marriage was a miserable experience and I'm happier on my own. The combination of all my experiences has shaped me into someone who really has no interest in finding love.

[courageovercomfort]

I have a very dear friend who has struggled with this same big regret. She has found some help with therapy. I think self forgiveness is a very brave of you & your start to healing.

[Hidden in reply to courageovercomfort]

I just recently was able to start to tell people I wanted kids. I used to hide it because I didn’t want sympathy. Now I volunteer with foster youth and will possibly take in a child of my own

[Hidden]

I get that. I went the other way. It felt like a constant quest for love. This is the first time in my life at 42 that I’m not actively seeking love. I’m focused on discovering happiness and love of myself

[SHCM in reply to Hidden]

Im glad to hear Im not the only one that think like that. Is the first time in years that I am not in desperate need of find a romantic partner, although I miss someone to talk about my day, but more than a partner I really would like to have a friend to do things, chat, share a laugh, etc. I want to focus more on me than on someone else. Spent to many years of my life been a dedicated wife, mother and daughter, although I don't regret the dedication to my mother and kids, it was fulfilling. in the love for a man, I haven't been lucky and now that my heart is healed don't want to risk that peace, so I would rather be surrounded by friends and family.

[Hidden]

That is exactly how I feel!! I’m proud of how well I treat myself now but I don’t know how to do this and allow a new love to share my life. I’m guessing I should just focus on strong friendships and if it blossoms to love then I’ll have a strong foundation of mutual respect and platonic love to build on. Never done this before. I’m ready. Been off online dating over 30 days now. I’m re-engineering my life

[Brina423]

Awe u never know what’s around the corner. Just. Relax and who knows Mr right can pop in at any time then after u two get settled in as one u could adopt (I’m adopted by the way ) and them kid or kids would love u like u gave birth ❤️❤️❤️

[Hidden in reply to Brina423]

Thank you for that I needed that today. You and your forever family found each other. My kids are out there❤️

[Brina423 in reply to Hidden]

Yes they are my mom and dad adopted me in their 50’s my brothers n sisters was having their on lives and my dad said momma fell in love with me from the first moment so see yes ur forever family is out there ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Hidden in reply to Brina423]

My whole 20 year has been dedicated to serving kids in foster care. It has been the greatest gift of my life. I haven’t adopted my own yet but I know I will. My dream is to be like that story the old lady that lived in a shoe lol

[Brina423 in reply to Hidden]

and it will happen I’m sure of it just stay positive

[Hidden in reply to Brina423]

Thanks Brina423! You made my day❤️