forgiveness: va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY... - Anxiety and Depre...
forgiveness
I have repeated this in other post responses. I am Jewish and the daughter, niece and granddaughter of Holocaust survivors. Over 90%?of my father’s family was slaughtered by the Nazis during World War II. I have PTSD from seeing my grandma suffer with horrific survivor’s guilt. There is no way that I can forgive the people who did this to my family. The pain is too deep and has left a scar on my soul.
not saying you should forgive or forget in that instance....but in the long run forgiveness isn't about the person that is causing the pain....it is to help you move on
In certain cases, it is about the person who caused such pain. I’m 65 and moved on with my life. If anything, I developed empathy for those who have suffered horrific things in my life. I don’t want to overstep but if one does not remember what happened in the past especially a horrific event, the terrible thing can occur again.
again....not saying to ever forget.....it would be crazy for me to tell you to forget something....especially something of that significance.....
Yes! It is indeed. I find it to be a grave mistake to encourage people to "forgive", with a side of guilt. Those of us who have suffered trauma, it is our choice to make.
If the conversion of deceased Jewish Holocaust victims isn't about taking away choice, well...
This is a complicated issue.... I can forgive a friend if they had said something that hurt my feelings and didn't mean to, I can forgive most things. I don't hold grudges, but I also need to know when to walk away from a situation and not keep myself in harms way. Some things are just unforgivable. I think that in some dogma it's said to forgive anything and everything, I don't believe that. I don't hold resentment, because yes, it is an acid that wants to eat it's vessel which holds it.
I know those that hurt me as a child didn't give it a second thought, and I was the one who carried the pain for their actions for decades. So hence... acceptance... and learning to take your power back.... but deep trauma is not something easy to move on from. We learn to live with what has happened, and accept it, and try to keep it in it's place, and not let it dictate how we live, and certainly work at not letting it keep us in pain daily. I can't function if I'm constantly ruminating...I have to do constructive things as well. And remember the here and now...but no... I will never be completely free of triggers, I'm 70 yeas old and still have them, just with less intensity, and frequency...
I totally understand that Shnookie....
I appreciate that you understand my feelings. And truth be known in Germany in the ‘30s, prostitutes and people with mental health issues among others were already being taken to detention camps.
Thank you for the link, and I can agree with some things said, but not other statements.
I strongly disagree with the definition of forgiveness....it's too simplistic. Some people don't actually believe they deserve forgiveness because they don't think they have done anything wrong. And some acts are unforgivable....I'll never forgive my child molester, or my sociopathic mother....I can forgive myself for blaming myself for ever feeling responsible for their actions, like I somehow deserved it, or caused it.... I was just a kid, they were the adult.
No one has the right to take the light out of a kids eyes, and once that happens, that trauma follows you around for decades, or even for life in some cases. I believe it's important to address the root cause of your anger and resentment, and then learning acceptance and learning that we cannot change what has happened, but we can learn to lessen the impact by doing the footwork in therapy, and any kind of positive growth. We take our power back, and don't let it define us. But we need help and guidance, and the right kind of guidance.
Accepting the unacceptable is something I still find hard, but necessary in order to get through this life with some peace and joy. Waking up and remembering what I have to be grateful for helps a lot; this is a broken world with broken people but there are also joys to be appreciated and celebrated. I thank God for all of them and pray for all who are suffering. It’s a process and a practice. 🙏🏻
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